This document provides guidance on writing personal statements for college application essays. It outlines topics to address in the essays like intended major, experiences in the field, and personal accomplishments. Writing exercises are presented to help generate content for the essays, like describing a quality or experience and how it relates to the applicant. Common mistakes to avoid are also discussed, such as being too general, repetitive, or dishonest. The overall document aims to help applicants craft compelling personal statements for their college applications.

1. Application Essays: How to
write a personal statement

2. AGENDA
The Plan
Introductions
Overview
 Options and Goals
 The website
Getting started
Prompt 2
Writing exercise
Transfer prompt 1
Writing exercise
The Common Application

3. If you have a draft that needs
revision or editing, you will join
an instructor for small group
work on your individual papers.
If you feel like you need help generating ideas, please
stay with me, and I will take you through some writing
exercises to help you get started.

4. Introductions to
Workshop Faculty
Mary Akatiff
Karen Chow
Elizabeth Figueredo
Maria Frangos
Brian Malone
Kim Palmore
Tim Shively

5. Getting Started

6. Before you write, consider
both your options and your
goals.

7. How UCs use your statements
To discover and evaluate distinctions
among applicants whose academic records
are often very similar.
To gain insight into your level of academic,
personal, and extracurricular achievement.
To provide information that may not be
evident in other parts of the application

8. The Purpose of the Statement
Your personal statement should add to the
application information you have already
provided. Consider what you can say that
adds the following information:
Clarity – a richer perspective of your life,
experiences, and/or accomplishments
Depth – details into your application
(academics or extra-curricular’s)
Context – sharing details on your home,
school, or community

9. The Goal: Start Early
According to the
University of California
Website, your application
for fall 2016 is due
between November 1-30,
2015

10. The UC Personal Statement
 There are two prompts
 You must address both within the
1,000 word limit. You may allocate
the word count as you wish, but the
shorter answer should be no fewer
than 250 words.
 View this portion of the application
as a personal interview

11. The UC Statement Prompts:
Statement #1:
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the
subject developed and describe any experience you have had in
the field – such as volunteer work, internships and employment,
participation in student organizations and activities – and what
you have gained from your involvement.
Statement #2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment,
contribution or experience that is important to you. What about
this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it
relate to the person you are?

13. Tell us about a personal quality,
talent, accomplishment,
contribution, or experience that
is important to you.
Answering the first part of the prompt

14. Respond to each of the following prompts to
generate fodder for your personal statement:
Personal Quality: Identify one important quality about yourself. For
example, you might be compassionate, honorable, kind, or a really
great friend. After you identify your quality, write an anecdote (tell a
short story) that illustrates what you mean.
Talent: this could be athletic, musical, or intellectual. After you settle
on your greatest talent, tell a short story that illustrates when this
talent became obvious to you or others.
Accomplishment; What goal have you reached in your life? Are you
an Eagle scout? a black belt? A leader? What have you worked at
hard to achieve? Once you figure it out, tell a short story about the
journey to that achievement and how you felt when you finally
reached your goal.

15. Contribution: What have you done for others? This could be a
family, school, or community contribution. Are you in student
government? Did you family have an emergency or situation where
your help was very important? Have you done volunteer work for
the community? Once you have identified your contribution, write an
anecdote about what you did and how you felt about it.
Important Experience: Have you had an important experience in
your life? Think about moments of great realization; they often
follow important experiences. This could be a relationship
experience, an illness or injury, and encounter with a stranger, or a
moment on an athletic field. Any time you said to yourself ” wow, I
won’t do that again” or “Hey, I totally get this now” is a potential
experience to investigate.

16. Once you figure out which aspect
of the question to write about,
spend a few minutes making
notes. Don’t forget to include
your epiphany.
 Which of your anecdotes or examples makes
the most compelling story?
 Which one taught you the most?
 Which one made you feel strong, confident,
or humble?

17. Answering the second
half of the question

18. “what makes you proud” about
what you choose to write about?
 Pride is not usually an attractive quality. It suggests that you are, at best,
self-satisfied and worthy of admiration. At worst, it makes you appear
narcissistic and smug. It implies you are the one winner in a sea of losers.
 Humility can serve the purpose of showcasing your admirable qualities or
experiences just as well. It is really how you frame your qualities or
experiences that will cast you in a likable light. Instead of asserting that
your accomplishment or talent “made you proud,” focus on including your
insights, thoughts, and opinions about what you valued or learned
through your experience.
 Take a few minutes to note your insights, thoughts, and opinions.

19. “how does [your event] relate to
the person you are?”
 Think about how this quality, event, accomplishment, talent,
contribution, or experience reflects who you are or who you have
become because of it. Consider these questions:
1. What have I learned?
2. What do I value from this experience and why?
3. How have I changed?
4. What skills have I improved upon?
5. What do I think and feel now?
6. How has it helped me see or shape my future.

20. Finishing
your essay
 Use the anecdote from the first exercise to begin your
personal statement. This is your hook; it also gives
the reader some insight to who you are.
 Use the second part of the prompt, your reflection, to
show the reader how you think, act, and learn from
the events in your life.
 Finally, connect the story and the reflection to who
you are today. How have events like this one shaped
you into a person who is dedicated, passionate, and
focused.

22. Answer these questions to
generate fodder for your essay:
1. What is your intended major?
2. How did your interest in the subject develop?
3. Describe any experience you have in the field:
jobs, internships, volunteer work, clubs and other
student organizations, and course work (practical
experience, working with your instructor, or
research projects).
4. What have you gained from your involvement.
How has it inspired or motivated you to pursue
your goals in this field?
5. What do you want to do in the future? Do you plan
to go to graduate school?

23. This essay will likely be shorter than essay #2. 300-400
words will suffice for this one about your intended field of
study. Remember, it must be at least 250 words.
 Consider this essay your love story: Tell
the tale of how you first met, the initial
attractions, and the passion that inspires
you. Use anecdotes and examples to
share a moment or quality between you
and your one love; convince your reader
that you are committed to a life together.
Use the answers to the questions on
the previous slide to add emotion to this
statement.

24. http://blog.commonapp.org/2015/03/31/2015-2016-essay-prompts/

25. The Common Application
 The Common App includes essays that
are universally agreed upon by the
member colleges. The Common
Application for the 2016-17 academic
year will likely go “live” on Aug. 1,
2015. Students who use the Common
Application will be able to create a
personalized account by going to the
website: www.commonapp.org

26. The Common Application
Transfer Prompt
“Please provide a
statement that addresses
your reasons for
transferring and the
objectives you hope to
achieve.” (250-650 words)

27. Address the two main
questions:
1. What are your reasons for
transferring?
2. What objectives (goals) do
you hope to achieve?

28. Before you begin writing:
3. Highlight the positive experiences you have had at De Anza; use those as
a springboard to explain why you want more of those at your next school.
Stay positive. List three positive features of De Anza concerning your
major. Then list three more that your new school will have (this must
necessarily be general because multiple schools will receive this essay).
4. Now, write a short anecdote (based on an experience, incident, or
moment) that will show the reader one of the defining qualities you
noted in step one. Then explain how that quality has driven you down the
path to your major and your new University or College. If you did this
exercise for UC Essay 2, you may already have fodder for this essay.
1. List the core or defining qualities that make you
think you will be effective in your major.
2. Jot down your memories of specific moments in
your life that sparked your interest in your field.

29. Sample Outline for the
Common Application Essay
1. Introduction: An anecdote from #4 on the previous slide—a quality that drives you
to your major.
2. Background: Provide examples of positive earlier experiences with your subject.
3. Content: Share positive academic/intellectual experiences from De Anza, using
specific examples.
4. Transition into the main reason you are ready to move on and into the new school.
5. Objectives: Discuss how you will find success in your intended major in your new
school. What do you want to learn? What do you see yourself doing with your
degree?
6. Conclusion: End with a sentence or two that projects your goals into the future.
What do you believe a degree in your major will allow you to do: consider yourself,
your family, your community, and the world.

30. Avoid These Common
Mistakes

31. Avoid Common Mistakes
Don’t be campus specific! One application serves multiple
schools.
Don’t use inappropriate humor.
Don’t decide to turn your essay into a poem or dialogue.
Don’t use quotations –Your thoughts are important; you
only have 1000 words. Don’t waste them on someone
else’s.
Don’t include multiple topics – each question should be
answered with one topic. You cannot go into depth when
you talk about multiple topics.

32. Avoid Common Mistakes
Avoid Generalities – stick to facts and specifics to
describe yourself.
Avoid Repetition – do not talk about the same topic in
each response. Provide information not included in other
sections of the application.
Skip Hard-luck stories without a purpose - you do not
need to overcome a challenge to gain admission to
college, so do not make one up.
Don’t Stretch the truth – just be honest. Most lies reveal
themselves.

33. Finally
Before you submit
your essay, read,
revise, and edit!