Oops, I didn't mean it to come out that way
•Download as KEY, PDF•
0 likes•438 views
A presentation by Scott "Q" Marcus on how to handle difficult people and how to disarm and avoid conflict
More Related Content
Viewers also liked
Viewers also liked (20)
More from Scott "Q" Marcus
More from Scott "Q" Marcus (20)
Recently uploaded
Recently uploaded (20)
Oops, I didn't mean it to come out that way
- 1. Scott “Q” Marcus THINspirational Speaker & Recovering Perfectionist 707.442.6243 • scottq@scottqmarcus.com 1
- 2. OOPS! I didn’t mean it to come out that way. Scott “Q” Marcus THINspirational Speaker & Recovering Perfectionist 707.442.6243 • scottq@scottqmarcus.com 1
- 3. 2
- 4. Wisdom “If all pulled together, The world would keel over.” 2 -Old Yiddish Proverb
- 5. 3
- 6. ‣ CALM 3 Conflict Cycle
- 7. ‣ CALM ‣Expectations 3 Conflict Cycle
- 8. ‣ CALM ‣Expectations ‣Noise 3 Conflict Cycle
- 9. ‣ CALM ‣Resolution ‣Expectations ‣Noise 3 Conflict Cycle
- 10. ‣Follow Up ‣ CALM ‣Resolution ‣Expectations ‣Noise 3 Conflict Cycle
- 11. 4
- 12. Noise! 4
- 13. 5
- 14. Realism Even the best relationships cause some pain… 5
- 15. 6
- 16. The Reasons ‣ Shoulds ‣ Perfectionism ‣ Disqualifying ‣ Boundary Violation 6 ‣ Inappropriate Rescue ‣ Selective Viewing
- 17. 7
- 18. Choices ‣ firecracker ‣ memory lane ‣ cold shoulder ‣ social zinger ‣ backstabber ‣ last word 7
- 19. 8
- 20. Movement 8
- 21. Movement 8
- 22. Movement Logical Emotional Physical Spiritual 8
- 23. Movement Logical Emotional Physical Spiritual 8 <<<<Change
- 24. Movement Logical Emotional Physical Spiritual 8 <<<<Change
- 25. 9
- 26. Drama! 9
- 27. Drama! 9
- 28. Drama! Victim (“It’s Not My Fault!”) 9
- 29. Drama! Victim (“It’s Not My Fault!”) Persecutor (“It’s Always Your Fault!”) 9
- 30. Drama! Victim (“It’s Not My Fault!”) Persecutor Rescuer (“It’s Always Your Fault!”) (“Let Me Fix It For You.”) 9
- 31. 10
- 32. Uniting 10
- 33. Uniting Assertion Cooperation 10
- 34. Uniting Assertion Avoidance Cooperation 10
- 35. Uniting Assertion Avoidance Accommodation Cooperation 10
- 36. Uniting Competitio n Assertion Avoidance Accommodation Cooperation 10
- 37. Uniting Competitio n Assertion Compromise Avoidance Accommodation Cooperation 10
- 38. Uniting Competitio Collaboration n Assertion Compromise Avoidance Accommodation Cooperation 10
- 39. Uniting Competitio Collaboration n Assertion Compromise Not Real Accommodation Cooperation 10
- 40. Uniting Competitio Collaboration n Assertion Compromise Not Real Unimportant Cooperation 10
- 41. Uniting Security Collaboration Assertion Compromise Not Real Unimportant Cooperation 10
- 42. Uniting Security Collaboration Assertion Too Complex Not Real Unimportant Cooperation 10
- 43. Uniting Security Win-Win Assertion Too Complex Not Real Unimportant Cooperation 10
- 44. 11
- 45. Five Years 11
- 46. 12
- 47. Open Inquiry Questions 12
- 48. Open Inquiry Closed Confirmation Questions 12
- 49. 13
- 50. Guidance 13
- 51. Guidance ‣Recognize ‣Reflect ‣Redirect 13
- 52. 14
- 53. Disarming L A S 14 T
- 54. Disarming L isten A S 14 T
- 55. Disarming L isten A pologize (Acknowledge) S 14 T
- 56. Disarming L isten A pologize (Acknowledge) S olve 14 T
- 57. Disarming L isten A pologize (Acknowledge) S olve 14 T hank
- 58. 15
- 60. Getting Creative 15 WOW
- 61. Getting Creative 15 WOW
- 62. 16
- 63. Fair Fighting ‣ Begin with “I” ‣ No Interruptions ‣ No Denials ‣ No Cross Complaints 16
- 65. Talk Time ‣ 10-20 Minutes ‣ I want / I like ‣ You want / You like ‣ Agreement
Editor's Notes
- Freight Train Rule types of trains: What causes the freight train If Guilt & Shame Were Motivational&#x2026; We&#x2019;d ALL be happy, healthy, wealthy, and more successful. Activity: push against someone who moves to show it takes 2 people
- Make it Happen Less Often Learn to Handle it Better (less pain) Heal Faster from Effects
- Make it Happen Less Often Learn to Handle it Better (less pain) Heal Faster from Effects
- Make it Happen Less Often Learn to Handle it Better (less pain) Heal Faster from Effects
- All steps are necessary for completion!
- All steps are necessary for completion!
- All steps are necessary for completion!
- All steps are necessary for completion!
- All steps are necessary for completion!
- All steps are necessary for completion!
- 80/20 rule - 80% of the reasons you&#x2019;re in conflict will be the same reason We structure our life to accomplish certain objectives; sometimes on purpose, sometimes by mistake
- 80/20 rule - 80% of the reasons you&#x2019;re in conflict will be the same reason We structure our life to accomplish certain objectives; sometimes on purpose, sometimes by mistake
- 80/20 rule - 80% of the reasons you&#x2019;re in conflict will be the same reason We structure our life to accomplish certain objectives; sometimes on purpose, sometimes by mistake
- 80/20 rule - 80% of the reasons you&#x2019;re in conflict will be the same reason We structure our life to accomplish certain objectives; sometimes on purpose, sometimes by mistake
- 80/20 rule - 80% of the reasons you&#x2019;re in conflict will be the same reason We structure our life to accomplish certain objectives; sometimes on purpose, sometimes by mistake
- 80/20 rule - 80% of the reasons you&#x2019;re in conflict will be the same reason We structure our life to accomplish certain objectives; sometimes on purpose, sometimes by mistake
- 80/20 rule - 80% of the reasons you&#x2019;re in conflict will be the same reason We structure our life to accomplish certain objectives; sometimes on purpose, sometimes by mistake
- < Activity Inspiration> < Execution Creation > If we don&#x2019;t believe it, we won&#x2019;t hear it. (Or see it) Activity: someone on stage & everyone makes faces & calls her poo-poo, etc. No change. Say &#x201C;bad parent&#x201D; = feel bad Therefore, we have to change our beliefs. How
- < Activity Inspiration> < Execution Creation > If we don&#x2019;t believe it, we won&#x2019;t hear it. (Or see it) Activity: someone on stage & everyone makes faces & calls her poo-poo, etc. No change. Say &#x201C;bad parent&#x201D; = feel bad Therefore, we have to change our beliefs. How
- < Activity Inspiration> < Execution Creation > If we don&#x2019;t believe it, we won&#x2019;t hear it. (Or see it) Activity: someone on stage & everyone makes faces & calls her poo-poo, etc. No change. Say &#x201C;bad parent&#x201D; = feel bad Therefore, we have to change our beliefs. How
- < Activity Inspiration> < Execution Creation > If we don&#x2019;t believe it, we won&#x2019;t hear it. (Or see it) Activity: someone on stage & everyone makes faces & calls her poo-poo, etc. No change. Say &#x201C;bad parent&#x201D; = feel bad Therefore, we have to change our beliefs. How
- < Activity Inspiration> < Execution Creation > If we don&#x2019;t believe it, we won&#x2019;t hear it. (Or see it) Activity: someone on stage & everyone makes faces & calls her poo-poo, etc. No change. Say &#x201C;bad parent&#x201D; = feel bad Therefore, we have to change our beliefs. How
- < Activity Inspiration> < Execution Creation > If we don&#x2019;t believe it, we won&#x2019;t hear it. (Or see it) Activity: someone on stage & everyone makes faces & calls her poo-poo, etc. No change. Say &#x201C;bad parent&#x201D; = feel bad Therefore, we have to change our beliefs. How
- < Activity Inspiration> < Execution Creation > If we don&#x2019;t believe it, we won&#x2019;t hear it. (Or see it) Activity: someone on stage & everyone makes faces & calls her poo-poo, etc. No change. Say &#x201C;bad parent&#x201D; = feel bad Therefore, we have to change our beliefs. How
- < Activity Inspiration> < Execution Creation > If we don&#x2019;t believe it, we won&#x2019;t hear it. (Or see it) Activity: someone on stage & everyone makes faces & calls her poo-poo, etc. No change. Say &#x201C;bad parent&#x201D; = feel bad Therefore, we have to change our beliefs. How
- Anger = natural reaction to the interruption of a game... Role Change = Conflict!
- Anger = natural reaction to the interruption of a game... Role Change = Conflict!
- Anger = natural reaction to the interruption of a game... Role Change = Conflict!
- Anger = natural reaction to the interruption of a game... Role Change = Conflict!
- Anger = natural reaction to the interruption of a game... Role Change = Conflict!
- Anger = natural reaction to the interruption of a game... Role Change = Conflict!
- Anger = natural reaction to the interruption of a game... Role Change = Conflict!
- Anger = natural reaction to the interruption of a game... Role Change = Conflict!
- the &#x201C;Is&#x201D; have it. Get people to talk about themselves: Tell me more, one to 10
- the &#x201C;Is&#x201D; have it. Get people to talk about themselves: Tell me more, one to 10
- the &#x201C;Is&#x201D; have it. Get people to talk about themselves: Tell me more, one to 10
- the &#x201C;Is&#x201D; have it. Get people to talk about themselves: Tell me more, one to 10
- the &#x201C;Is&#x201D; have it. Get people to talk about themselves: Tell me more, one to 10
- the &#x201C;Is&#x201D; have it. Get people to talk about themselves: Tell me more, one to 10
- the &#x201C;Is&#x201D; have it. Get people to talk about themselves: Tell me more, one to 10
- the &#x201C;Is&#x201D; have it. Get people to talk about themselves: Tell me more, one to 10
- jack story, my mom & joe with the donuts I appreciate how you ___ but when you do that, I feel ____ and I&#x2019;d rather you do this.
- jack story, my mom & joe with the donuts I appreciate how you ___ but when you do that, I feel ____ and I&#x2019;d rather you do this.
- jack story, my mom & joe with the donuts I appreciate how you ___ but when you do that, I feel ____ and I&#x2019;d rather you do this.
- jack story, my mom & joe with the donuts I appreciate how you ___ but when you do that, I feel ____ and I&#x2019;d rather you do this.
- jack story, my mom & joe with the donuts I appreciate how you ___ but when you do that, I feel ____ and I&#x2019;d rather you do this.
- Big chunk of stupid
- Big chunk of stupid
- Big chunk of stupid
- To keep it fresh&#x2026; Toilet brush story
- To keep it fresh&#x2026; Toilet brush story
- To keep it fresh&#x2026; Toilet brush story
- To keep it fresh&#x2026; Toilet brush story
- To keep it fresh&#x2026; Toilet brush story