This document is a collection of poems and reflections by Dara Podber about self-discovery, life experiences, and philosophical questions. It describes her first journey of looking inward and realizing that beneath the different roles she plays, she is a poet longing to express herself. Through writing, she hopes to guide readers in their own searches for meaning and understanding.

1. My First Journey
The Awakening
Dara Podber
Registered with
WGAE
Registration no. 108933-00

2. My First Journey
• Dedication:
To my family who brought me to The Highway,
To everyone I’ve encountered on endless roads,
and to whatever it is that exists within each of us that never
allows our foot near the breaks:
Thanks for making it such an amazing drive…..

3. Act I
Our eyes deceive us
allow us to see
not who we are
but who we claim to be….
A performer on life’s stage
always playing a role
I let you see the character
I withheld to you my soul
To some I was the friend
with whom you could confide
when you needed a shoulder
I placed one by your side
To some I was the joker
I gave the gift of laughter
once your smile faded
you didn’t see me after
Dressed up on a Friday night
you saw me as the flirt
on our date the following week
you just saw me as dessert
Some knew me as the worker
the one who tried to climb
most never met the writer
who dreamt in patterns of rhyme
I wore a different mask
entering each new place
Even through a mirror
I barely recognized my face
It wasn’t until I journeyed
alone inside my mind
did I see through the facade
one’s soul is never blind
Beneath every character
that I had at one time posed
lied a hidden poet
aching to be exposed
Now that my first journey has ended
and I’ve revealed myself within
courageously, I unlock all the doors
and invite everybody in
For, unmasked we’re all just searchers
drifting on different roads
seeking meaning from our past
wondering what our future holds
As you read these pages
similar thoughts may have crossed your mind
may my words guide you in your search
in whatever you’re hoping to find…….6/1/97

4. “Through my
words,
I want you to feel
All that I am,
I beg you to
steal”
8/14/96

5. The Question

6. Will I Ever Understand?
When I search for answers
it’s questions I find
When I look for meaning
my eyes are blind
I want to unlock my soul
instead I build a wall
When I want to proceed
my legs start to stall
I want to surround myself with people
as I sit here alone
I want to reach for a helping hand
but I tackle it on my own
While I want to get closer
I just run away
I find myself leaving
when I wanted to stay
When everything seems right
I wonder what will go wrong
I try to make things fit
where I know they don’t belong
When I need to sleep
I lie awake
while I can give
I just can’t take
At 26
I still can’t see
where it is
I’m suppose to be
and if I should take off
will I eventually fall?
After 26 years
I know nothing at all…
9/10/96

7. WHY?
Into a boundless sky I saw a bird fly
while on hampered land man tried to get by
In a crowded hospital room a newborn began to cry
while on a desolate city street, a homeless man waited to die
In a boardroom, a salesman closed with a lie
while on a college campus, a student got high
In a courtroom the accused seeked an alibi
while American patriots ate apple pie
A blind man wished for a seeing eye
while a banker shopped for a designer tie
The newlyweds waved goodbye
while a single girl searched for a single guy
The gambler took a chance and rolled the DI
while a poet wrote a lullaby
…and not a single day goes by
…where I don’t sit and wonder why
8/10/96

8. Where?
I let a hot, thick breeze
blow through my skin
as I sat outside
thinking about where I had been
All the Mountains I’ve climbed
all the oceans I’ve swam
leave me now wondering
where it is that I am
In all of the places I’ll go
in all of the faces I’ll see
will lead me to wonder
where one day I’ll be
7/17/96

9. So much I’ve yet to know
So many places I’ve yet to go
Hidden talents I’ve yet to show
So much ink has yet to flow
8/29/96

10. “Lingering thoughts
pass through the night
If you can grab them,
cling to them tight”
8/10/93

11. Just Wondering
When you’re lying in bed
examining your worth
wondering why
you’re walking this earth
Remember the road that led you here
every thought, every laugh and every tear
Because all you feel and all you know
are bits and pieces making you whole
differing fragments make us unique
some are strong, some are weak
Together we’ll search, together we’ll probe
to find reason for our walk on this globe
We’re all just patterns of interlaced stitches
in an infinite blanket of varying niches
where life begins with each new seam
sometimes it all feels like a dream
Yea, just intertwined knits
more or less
in the mind of one Al Mighty Seamstress
8/10/93

12. “Sometimes when I’m awake,
all I do is dream
and sometimes when I fall asleep,
I find out what they mean”
8/13/96

13. A Break From Reality
Peaceful and relaxed, the vanishing of pain
the comforts of the night diminish emotional
strain
Farewell to the day, I lay my weary head
and view the brightest star from the comforts of
my bed
I close my tired eyes, deeper into my dreams I
sink
I surrender to my subconscious and lose control
to think
Far away I travel, way beyond the door
reality forgotten, in fantasy I’m secure
Until the stars begin to dim
and my dream begins to fade
I journey back to reality
though I wish I could have stayed…
2/4/92

14. The Infinite Sky
I found my wings, I’m ready to fly
above and beyond the infinite sky
In and out of soft clouds I weave
and what I see you just wouldn’t believe
Do you wish to journey with me?
Do you wish to see what I see?
You must close your eyes for they are blind
in order to see, you must open your mind
The weight has lifted, we’re lighter than air
the worries have ended, no pain to bear
Freedom at last, the power to fly
above and beyond the infinite sky
Here we go, hold my hand
let us find our wonderland
above the stars we shall soar
and see the world like never before….
February 1992

15. Drift Into A Dream
Into a mindful of dreams
last night I drifted
through joy and anguish
I had sifted
On the scale of emotions
the weight had shifted
I awoke this morning
my spirits were lifted
Happiness outweighed the sorrow
now I’m more optimistic about
tomorrow
12/26/96

16. Something learned
something taught
another day
brings a brand new thought
The sun could shine
the sky could pour
another season
opens a brand new door
And in my search
for answers, I find
many more questions
engulfed in my mind
6/17/96

17. Longing For Reason
The sun was strong
the air was cold
in a clear blue sky
was a story waiting to be told
The sky seemed as infinite
as those who walked this earth
there’s as much meaning for it’s blueness
as there is for each and every birth
Maybe an answer lies
somewhere up above
or maybe it’s hidden within
the thoughts we’re all thinking of
I wish I held the reason
for what it’s all about
is it captured in the challenge
during our search to figure it out?
1/13/96

18. The Search

19. “All that I’ve seen
and all that I’ve heard
will be told with my pen
through the written word”
6/7/96

20. I Saw Me on A train
I wanted to drift into a dream
shut my eyes tight
but there’s something about riding a train
that always inspires me to write
As I stared outside this window
watching the world go by
I searched to find the answer
As I questioned, who am I
I believe in miracles
I believe in the unknown
I believe in fantasy
I see more than what is shown
I believe in people
those I’ve hugged & those I’ve kissed
Even those I’ve never met
I know somewhere exist
I believe in music
sweet words and rhythm I store
and in my head, I often hear songs
that no one’s ever heard before
I don’t believe in money
though that’s probably a lie
because as I walk along the city streets
there nothing I don’t want to buy
But I do know that true wealth
is the love that makes us thrive
as everyday I grow richer
I’m so grateful to be alive
Just outside this window
a whole world I can see
I believe in reason
I believe in me
The people and the buildings
hills covered by snow so deep
I’m glad I rode this train
and didn’t fall asleep…
12/29/95

21. The Eastbound Train
The good, the bad, the ugly,
the poorly dressed and the insane
were those who shared my ride
traveling on an eastbound train
One who read the comics
the only section he could understand
Another stared out of the window
as we moved across the land
Two engage in conversation
while another sips his drink
I heard some children laughing
while I watched a lady think
I saw some people standing
wishing to rest their feet
I tried not to catch their eyes
as I sat beside an empty seat
Occasionally we would stop
as the eastbound train toured
some left my life forever
as some new ones climbed aboard
One who sat beside me
and broke my solitude
my luck he had B.O.
and I found that very rude
So I found myself a new seat
next to the cutest guy in the car
He just read, no words were said
It’s much easier in a Bar
At the final destination
I looked around the emptying train
so many I’ve watched come & go
I might never see again
8/26/95

22. “I don’t want to
change the
world…
I just want to
modify it a little
bit”
7/7/91

23. Another Breed
Each of us
a planted seed
watered and nurtured
to one day perform a deed
Some were grown to follow
while others groomed to lead
within a vast forest
all binded by a creed
Voices within ourselves
sometimes we need to heed
a fully blossomed flower
aching to be freed
“Let me find my own way”
the flower tried to plead
A mysterious world in which to live in
woven by power and greed
All wanting so much more
than we actually really need
We pay to insure our bodies
yet allow our souls to bleed
we remember to fuel our stomachs
while our minds we forget to feed
When all I really live for
is finding the words for you to read
maybe writers are different
of some other breed………4/20/97

24. We’re here to make
this world
not fill it...
9/7/94

25. Manhattan
They built a city to the sky
for the masses to claim their space
within the crowd we search for ourselves
while we struggle to find our place
We choose a little box in the sky
that we can call home base
we fill it with our possessions
so our existence we can trace
Behind the window of the box
shielded by curtains of lace
in solace we search for ourselves
in the mirror that we face
We look beyond the window
where the world is in a race
we step outside our boxes
striving to keep up the pace
We claim we’re busy chasing
the hand that holds the ace
the lucky ones that catch it
lock it in a case
We leave a piece of ourselves out there
that no one can replace
in exchange for something received within
that we never can erase………3/31/97

26. The Smile
It happens, every once in a while
For some unknown reason, I misplace my smile
where it goes, I don’t know
I keep on searching, high and low
I rip my soul apart, trying
out of frustration, I can’t stop crying
Just when I think it’s gone forever,
I find a way to pull myself together
After the mess I’ve made looking,
all the pieces within me, I’ve tossed,
I look at this amazing world around me
and realize it was never lost
It’s in everyone I touch,
in everything I see,
it’s everywhere I’ve been
and everywhere I’ll be
7/26/96

27. A Lonely Structure
I reach for something,
I just can’t touch
alone too long,
I think too much
visiting stories,
they fill my mind
when I step outside
they’re what I hope I’ll find
Stories that live
in a world which I hide
I wish I possessed the courage
to invite someone inside
For loneliness there is a cure
it’s opening up each locked door
why is it so hard to turn the key
and allow others a chance to see
what I’ve tried so hard to protect
what I’ve spent years trying to erect
laying foundations,
plastering each wall
I built it to last
so it should never fall.
Through long, cold winters
it did not erode
through hurricanes in summer
it remained impermeable and bold
Weathering the test of time
year upon year
It’s easy to endure
when you don’t let anyone near.
I could cut the ribbon,
invite people in
maybe I’ll lose
but, maybe I’ll win
I should take the chance,
I know in my heart
but I fear the bricks
may come apart,
fall piece by piece
to the ground
until it all comes tumbling down
Would I be better off chancing its rupture,
or leave it standing a lonely structure?…10/1/95

28. Standing tall,
not needing a crutch
afraid not of being alone,
but of enjoying it too much…
6/1/97

29. Looking For
Love:

30. I’ll Keep Searching
Won’t you join me for the ride
whether over a rocky road
or through a tranquil country side
maybe on a sandy beach, calm and warm
or on a white mountain peak during a storm
on days when laughter fills the room
or on nights when it’s filled with tears and gloom
As each new season suddenly appears
turning months into years
when the passage of time cannot erase
the changes on my aging face
Each minute of every day
may our love for eachother never fade away
When I need to speak, will you listen?
when you see me smile, will you glisten?
When I’m hurting would you feel my pain?
Would you help me to see the sun shine through the rain?
When I just can’t seem to win, no matter how hard I’ve tried
will you comfort my soul and save my pride?
If I should start to drown in a pool of tears
will you dry my eyes and conquer my fears?
For so long I’ve searched, each time I’ve missed
still believing you actually exist
so wherever you are
if you’re searching too
find the piece of my heart
I’ve been saving for you.
2/21/93

31. Still looking, Sometimes doubting
In a crowded city
I walk alone
looking for you
on my way home
My eyes gazed westward
up toward a pale pink sky
so captivated by the sunset
I might have passed you by
The sky seemed so gentle,
warm and free
at that moment in time
it was so inviting to me
I started to doubt
that we would ever meet
as I felt the cold, hard earth
beneath my feet
I could soar to the sky
from this ground which I stand
but I higher I’ll fly
the harder I’ll land…..
8/30/95

32. Wasting Time Waiting
Before my very eyes
I watch my world unfold
I spend my time just waiting
for a hand I may never hold
I listen to the heartbeat
of moments drawing near
I spend my time just waiting
for a voice I may never hear
Months turn into years
inside I held so much
But still, I am here waiting
for skin I may never touch
Thoughts collected on paper
yet always left unsaid
Am I wasting my time writing
words which may never be read?
7/31/94

33. Single
Almost 26, reaching for the stars
still making small talk in singles bars
Just doing the best I can
still searching for my man
Sometimes “single life” feels so alarming
I wonder if I’ll ever find my Prince Charming
Just when I think I see him lurk
it’s time to wake up, and go to work
Everyday is another check on my list
making sure there’s nothing I’ve missed
With a deep breath, I take it all in
I know that where I’m going, depends upon
where I’ve been
I remind myself that everyday possesses a
reason
that there’s meaning found in every season
Sometimes, though, it’s so difficult to see
that where you are is where you are meant to be
10/8/95

34. Love at First Sight
The lights went on, as they closed the place
filled with lust, their hearts began to race
The sky was turning from black to pure blue
they were both unsure of what next they should do
Before tonight their lives were a blur
He tells her, he was born to this world just to meet her
somehow she knew it wasn’t a line
resulting from stale smoke and cheap wine
the sound of his voice made her believe
and neither one wanted to leave
He looked beyond her eyes, into her soul
and suddenly she felt whole
he pulled her close and brought her in
and place his lips on her suntanned skin
the passion electric, the attraction so strong
and in his arms, she knew she belonged
tighter now, he drew her near
and whispered softly in her ear
“On the Roller Coaster of life, together we’ll ride
hand-in-hand, side-by-side”
She had only met him just a few hours before
somehow he held the key to her heart and opened the door
Just one of life’s miracles that occurs next to never?
she could have sworn she had known him forever
But there was one thing of which she was sure
she’ll know him now forever more
7/20/92

35. First Avenue
8/19/95
Aimlessly strolling along a Manhattan Street
never expecting there’d be someone to meet
He looked up as she walked by
he stopped her at the corner and said, “hi”
stopped in her tracks, her knees grew weak
she never before found it difficult to speak
she just smiled, as if to say
wherever you’re going, I’m going that way
There was some kind of connection, they both knew
as they talked and walked along First Avenue
“You know”, he said, “I never take First, with the exception of today,
but something made me turn this way”
Words which made them wonder why
as many faceless people passed them by
They stopped at the next corner, as the light turned red
He noticed an outdoor café and he said,
“Are you hungry? How ‘bout a meal?”
“If you’re paying”, she joked, “you’ve got a deal.”
He chuckled as he took her hand
she was ready to be led into uncharted land
They sat at a table, beneath the mid-day sun
the way the sun shone on her face told him she was the one
The waiter approached, “Can I get you a drink?”
“In a moment please, we need time to think”
In a world of billions where we connect with so few
it seemed silly to focus on the simplicity of reading a menu
“Tuna sandwich, house salad or chicken salad platter,
after being here with you, how could anything else possibly matter”

36. First Avenue - con’t
“After a half-hour of reading the menu,
what have you learned?”
The waiter said, as he returned
“I’ll have a Spicy Stoli Bloody Mary with a big celery stick.”
And I’ll have a Frozen Margarita made extra thick.”
“Here’s to First Avenue and to future paths together taken
and if I am now dreaming may I never awaken”
From the moment they each raised their glass
neither one noticed the hours pass
Their eyes were locked within a stare
broken by the waiter, who appeared out of nowhere
“Look my shift’s nearly done, and I’m really beat
can you please tell me now what you would like to eat”
“I’ll have a Burger, I’m a meat & potatoes kindaguy”
“and I’ll have a turkey, lettuce, tomato on rye”
He was lost within the sight
of watching her take every last bite
she was amused by the crumbs left on his shirt
“Oh, those”, he joked, “I was saving for dessert”
And within minutes they were on their way
walking passed the sidewalk café
Behind them, the sun gently set
they had forgotten what life was like before they had met
Sunsets went and sunrises came
but after that day, First Avenue was never the same.

37. Stepping Forward
Stepping forward
she glances behind
memory of a lost love
dances across her mind
She ran before her heart could break
she wonders now,
if she had made a mistake
if she only knew then
what is now known
would she be here now, walking
this street all alone?
Stepping forward
she tries to be strong
she wonders why now,
for him she should long
Could he have been the right one
but the timing so wrong?
Each step forward
thwarted with each glance behind
when perhaps in the distance
there is new love to find
Ahead could be chances
waiting to be handed
Facing backward
could leave her forever stranded
Stopped in her tracks
she took one last glance behind
the tangled road paved with her footsteps
she started to unwind
in each faded footprint
held wisdom she amassed
what led her to the next one
was a lesson from the last
when she saw him in a footprint
all her doubts began to fade
when she realized how many footprints
ahead of it she had made…….3/22/97

38. I awoke alone
to roaring alarms
It’s better than being held
within Mr. Wrong’s arms...
Foolishly trusting
deceptive charms
I’d rather keep searching
than be held in frozen arms
6/2/97

39. Time To Sit In Traffic
I was crawling along life’s highway
when the traffic got worse
I couldn’t get ahead
I couldn’t go reverse
I made it to the next exit
and found a barren street
my wheels were spinning so fast
we almost didn’t meet
My foot was like lead to the peddle
the wind swept my hair across my face
I almost drove right by you
I was immersed within my pace
I switched my foot to brake
and began to slow down
I glanced through the rearview mirror
and quickly turned around
For a moment, I lost myself in thought
as I shifted gear
I’ve been racing so fast to see what’s ahead
I’ve been missing out on what is here
I vowed to make it a point
to travel the crowded road
I’d rather sit in traffic
than breeze through life alone…….6/15/96

40. The Road

41. “Life keeps us moving
in different directions
without mistakes,
there’d be no corrections”
9/8/94

42. The Choice
I find myself at the end
of yet another Street
I stand and face the Crossroads
at the point at which they meet
I don’t know if I should turn
to the left or to the right
it would be so easy
if I only had foresight
I can’t go in reverse
I’ve taken that route before
it’s time I make my choice
I wish I could be sure
Which ever way I choose
there’ll be no turning back
I must make sure the road
doesn’t steer me off my track
Though I might just choose the road
that I was meant to travel
and perhaps I’ll even find
that all the answers will unravel
I now must make my choice
upon which so much is riding
better to make a mistake
than to be standing still, deciding….
1/7/97

43. Taking Chances
I’ve taken chances
crossed many lines
I’ve had many losses
and many finds
I’ve made many choices
and it wasn’t before long
did I realize that some were right
and some were wrong
I’ve cried through laughter
and smiled through tears
and always found courage
to conquer my fears
I’ve felt the warmth from the sun
through cold, wet chills from the rain
and always found joy
buried beneath pain
I’ve felt my world crumble
never understood why
never sure if I had the strength to rebuild it
but something always made me try
And through it all, of this I’m sure
every closed window will open a door
there will always be challenges
in life, we must face
there will times
when this world seems like an empty place
and when life seems like a lonely ride
take those feelings and push them aside
because up the road there is another turn
paved the way with lessons once learned
September 4-6, 1994

44. “As time passes,
many people
will walk into my life
some will stay
some will walk away
and some may even return
but from all of them,
I will learn”
1/14/94

45. The Highway
On the Highway of life I began to cruise
which roads to follow I started to choose
Behind the wheel, lost in thought
memories of a dear old friend I sought
and for each turn around the bend
I prayed our paths would cross again
but the more I drove, the more I learned
There are just too many roads, and too many
turns….
February 1992

46. Footprints
We reach up toward the sky
as we walk upon the ground
our footprints leave our mark
our thoughts our only sound
As we sweep
across earth’s floor
we touch upon a spot
where someone’s stepped before
In that single moment
of our foot pressed against the earth
we’re stepping on the footprint
that holds a strangers worth
As I tread ahead
I turn around to see
if the person in my footprint
is wondering about me
8/19/96

47. “Looking ahead,
looking behind
if I continue seeking
than I shall find”
8/26/95

48. Finding My Way
When nothing feels right
but I don’t know what is wrong
I usually have a firm grip
but today I’m not that strong
When the road leads to somewhere
but somehow the paths have crossed
I tried to take a shortcut
only to find myself lost
Too proud to ask for directions
somehow I’ll find my way
tomorrow when the fog clears
how I wish it could be today
12/11/92

49. The Cliff
I was on the verge
of falling over a cliff
when I closed my eyes
and began to drift
I went back through time
to a child of three
I fell off a swing
and skimmed my knee
and as the blood
rushed to my toes
I looked at the swing
and my body froze
blazing with determination
I ignited my own fire
I climbed back on the swing
and swung even higher
And on this cliff
I’m still holding on
a memory of fourteen
I stumbled upon
It was Junior High
another test
I should’ve studied harder
I should’ve tried my best
When my grades came back
I was surprised to see
I received an A
when I thought I deserved a B
And on this cliff
I tighten my grip
and into my past
I once again slip
Twelfth grade, AP English Comp
with the intellects of my class
The teacher told me
I’d never pass
my stories were dull, way too trite
he told me I just couldn’t write
I suffered through the class
then threw out my pen
it wasn’t until years later
did I pick it up again
I carried it with me wherever I went
endless hours, just writing I spent
At 17, my self-confidence he took
yet here I sit writing my first book

50. The Cliff (con’t)
And on this cliff
trying to conquer my fears
I find myself back
in my college years
I was nearing the end
of my senior year
reality was calling
but I didn’t want to hear
what would I do?
what could I be?
I didn’t want a job
I just wanted to be free
I thought the “real world” would eat me alive
but I worked hard and always thrived
And on this cliff
I hold on tighter
my past has proved
I am a fighter
He was the first
to steal my heart
my own insecurity
tore us apart
Someone said I’d love again
and on this cliff
I’m still wondering when
But I thought of the Swing
then I thought of the “A”
and all of the achievements
that came my way
Before I can love another
I first have to love me
so I rekindled that fire
I had ignited at three
And from this cliff
I just absorb the view
this world never looked
so inviting and new….
started 9/16/96 & 9/23/96 completed 6/2/97

51. “Moments ago,
there was so much to say
but countless thoughts
got in the way”
9/23/95

52. This page is intentionally left blank
With the exception of the
words I had just written

53. The Wonder

54. Wonder
Not possessing the answers
leaves me to regard this world with wonder
it’s enough to lift me from this rock
that I’ve been hiding under
Sometimes I strive to cease my search,
let future decide my fate,
Viewing life through rose tinted glasses
is enough to fill my plate
Though, a multitude of questions
are all I have to give
I receive so much from my surroundings
I feel fortunate just to live
Between wisdom and astonishment
the struggle leaves me torn
at times I yearn to understand
at times, just thankful to have been born
I’ll return to seeking answers
in every Mountain I climb
but today I’ll just stop and wonder
be grateful for my time
With bewilderment I look around
at the magnitude of it all
just a fragment of something so massive
it usually makes me feel so small
But today I feel like a giant
I could lift my arm and touch the sky
an entity within myself
is making me feel so high…..5/28/97

55. “Tuesday evening, 9pm
if I could wake up
and do it all over again
I’d kiss the ground,
and hug the sky
and never let
another moment pass me by”
5/28/96

56. Treasured Moments
Days like this I wish could last
too few hours that race so fast
so before this moment becomes the past
I remind myself to grasp it before its pass
because so manyyesterdays I reflect upon
were treasures unrealized until theywere gone
10/26/96

57. Clouds took control of the sky
Sometimes,
even a dreary night
could make me high
Let it rain, Let it pour
I’ll sit outside and beg for more…..
7/12/96

58. A Thought From a Half-filled Glass
I remember why I laughed
I have forgotten why I teared
I held what gave me courage
and lost what I had feared
I have embraced each change
as another turning point neared
and when I was feeling cold and alone
a warm heart always appeared
As I rode the highway of life
ahead I often peered
when an obstacle hindered my path
around it I always steered
If tomorrow I must leave
from this world which I’ve endeared
I’ll be glad I tasted life
before I disappeared
11/14/96

59. The Secret Place
When I’m overwhelmed with thoughts
battling each other inside
there’s a secret place I escape to
and for a while I can hide
This world only I know of
is circular and wide
it’s filled with many answers
and I’m it’s only guide
It upholds it’s own set of rules
to which I must abide
I’m binded by these truths
to which I am forever tied
The comforts of this strange reality
upon which I have relied
have taught me many lessons
and given me a sense of pride
This was where I vacationed
after I had done nothing but cried
I brought back a souvenir of courage
which helped me face outside
The war once waged within
did suddenly subside
through powers of expression
with words I can confide
8/13/96

60. Waiting For My Finding
Reality
never stopped me frombelieving
Confinement
never kept me fromleaving
Suppressing me fromchanging
never limited my rearranging
Sometimes I go on sleeping
just to keep fromweeping
when all of my suggestions
lead to further questions
Answers seemto be hiding
somewhere beyond deciding
I look to my horoscope
for a taste of my future
or a glimmer of hope
Too old to find a prize
hiding in a cereal box
too young not to seek the diamond
buried beneath a mountain of rocks
Everything I sought
is masking as a thought
some may say I’mdeep
merely thoughts I choose not to keep
Maybe I’mhere to uncover
what I have yet to discover
somewhere it’s all unwinding
waiting for my finding
4/21/97

61. “In my failure to find
answers,
I sometimes find
reason,
and in my attempts to
understand reason,
I sometimes find
purpose.”
1/16/97

62. The Answer?

63. The Reason
Disguised as accidental
unveiled, it’s purely reason
which manifests itself
in a future season……
I’ll know where I’m going
when I arrive
I’ll find myself growing
each time I survive
I once thought I was lost,
nowhere bound
I was never missing
just not yet found
I never knew I was chained
till I was set free
I discovered who I am
not who I thought I should be
I never knew I had strength
until I felt weak
I never realized I could climb
until I reached the peak
Always thinking I would fail
until I tried again
never knew I could write
till I picked up a pen
All of my words
were just patterns of thought,
aimlessly roaming,
until they were caught
I’ve spent my past
second guessing each decision
a large price to pay
in my quest for precision
It wasn’t until I looked back
on the road that led me here,
in every turn I chose
did it suddenly become clear…
Nothing in life
is left up to chance
there is never a need
to take another glance
instead of questioning our choices
we should heed our inner voices
On every road,
no matter the turn
there’s something to discover
and something to learn
Though today,
it may be concealed
on a distant path
Reason will be revealed……….5/26/97

64. Believe in your Dreams
if they’re alive in your mind
then in reality they exist
waiting for you to find…
6/1/97

65. Never stop searching,
always heed your call
travel that mysterious road
and absorb it all….
6/1/97

66. Take time to stop and wonder
always believe in you
maybe you’ll find that the
answer
is something you already
knew…
6/1/97

67. Chances are for taking
Dreams dreamt for making
Restrictions meant for breaking
Sorrow for forsaking
Hearts are for waking
and the world... is just for shaking
6/6/97

68. …And that was all she wrote
7/7/91 to 6/6/97
So many roads left to travel
so much more I’ve yet to see
we’ll meet again on a distant path
My Second Journey is awaiting me...