This document is a reflection on finding purpose and meaning in life. It discusses how the author used to wander through life unconsciously, trying to escape feelings of emptiness. Through running, the author was able to find clarity and presence. The author realized that to deny one's desires is to deny one's life. We should not try to escape ourselves but embrace who we are. While life is uncertain and passes quickly, we can navigate its ups and downs by deciding to live consciously and embracing each moment.

1. Margaret Fields December 10, 2010
Professor Perl English Lit 102
“In my next life I want to live my life“ (Woody Allen)
I want, I want, I want! Who doesn’t? Isn’t there a bit of Henderson in all of us? On a
quest to live the fullest life possible. Searching for a richer, decorated trail of dreams to
follow. Sometimes you need to lose yourself in order to find who you are. I, like
Henderson was a wandering soul. Lost in search of a life with a deeper, more profound
meaning. I guess you could say this is what happens as people age. They look at the
world through different eyes. A sense of urgency looms over your life as the years pass.
Sadly, I have friends still living life as if they will live forever. Fortunately for me I have
found the true riches. It’s that time doesn’t wait around hoping that you discover your
life and feel love in ways beyond imaginable. It’s that life and love are ours for the
taking. Isn’t that what we all truly desire? I feel love in many ways, but the one that
keeps me “wanting” is my love for life. Henderson needed to define his want not by
what he didn’t have but by what he had all along. The soul search begins and so does the
rescue.
I have lost my way many times waiting for a rescue that never came. It took my
almost thirty years to find me! You see, you are your own rescue. I used to think that if I
internalized my “wants” and thoughts about life that they would either naturally unfold or
I could find a place for them. Is there such a place? A place for them to rest and
hopefully live happily ever after. That resting place would be within me. Many times I
just hoped that the ache of wanting to live a magnified ,more purposefully driven life

2. would just pass So that I could continue the humdrum of my life uninterrupted. The
problem with that is, to deny your desires is to deny your life. Eventually escapism will
fail you and you will become haunted by the desires you sadly ignored.
So, I ask, where can you run to escape yourself? (Switch foot). For Henderson, it was
Africa. For me, ironically, its running. I found my true self and the “beauty” in life that
Prof Perl speaks of through life’s experiences. It took me some time but I had to find my
pulse for life. I’ve learned an abundance to living a spiritually full life through running.
The thing is, no matter how far I run, trying to dismiss the intrusive thoughts, the empty
well that I am constantly trying to keep full, I am still with myself. You are your own
prison. Running has been for me what addiction is to an addict. I need it, I want it and
the end result is to escape the world for a bit. My mind, body and spirit is the compass
when I hit the pavement. I’ve applied the presence I feel during a run to every aspect of
my life, that even if the result was to free myself of the world and all its negativity I will
never escape the core of who I am and who I wish to become. I leave my doubts and
fears for someone else to trample on the pavement. There is no judgement only embrace.
It’s a time for reflection, clarity and to be one with the world. Running gives me a sense
of gratefulness, the sound of my breath, the quiet, nature and the beat in my heart. I feel
the sun on my face, joyful I‘m alive, truly joyful. I’m moving like a child in an open
field, no sense of labor just carefree. I feel the wind against my flushed face, glowing
with a layer of all my hard work. The cars and massive trucks whiz by. In my mind I am
gently aware of the race the world is in and yet everything in my world is still. Through
my love of this sport, I’ve learned, DO NOT run through life! What a gift.
So you see, even though my riches aren’t found tucked away in books, I was far

3. richer than Henderson could ever be. “The world which I thought so mighty an oppressor
has removed its wrath from me” (Page 3). This journey is about being able to navigate
through the uncertainty of life with a knowing that it will never take me down! “I want, I
want, I want” will always be a part of who I am because I will not allow life to lead me. I
decide what defines living and Henderson finally did too.
I’ve created the continuation of Henderson in my mind. Our shared perspective is that
life is so uncertain. It passes so fast, we barely catch a glimpse. It’s like watching your
children grow. Once you held them in your arms and now your arms hold their children.
Life carries you like a leaf on a windy day. Then it gently places you to wait for the
winter of your life. It is short but sweet like the smell of fresh cut grass on a warm
summer day. It is precious like a new born baby coming into the world. It is difficult like
marriage, the peaks are glorious but the valleys can break you. Life is mysterious like
magic. It changes in an instant, leaving you astounded. Life can take your breath away
like the coldest winter day. Life can’t be compartmentalized with epiphanies like a trip to
Africa. It’s a rich and beautiful blend of all our experiences. There are days, life hides the
sun but even in my darkest hour, I have life. The sun will shine again. When the storm
passes and I feel the sun on my face I am present and joyful. Now that’s glorious. That’s
living.
We all forget how to live sometimes. Life takes over. Stop and say “Hello World.”
We need to be reminded because “sometimes I forget what livings for then I hear my life
through my front door and I breathe it in. Just surrender and believe I fall down on my
knees, hello world!” (Lady Antebellum). To stop wanting would be to stop living. It’s
o.k. to “want.” It’s what inspires us to forge ahead. It gives our life value and purpose.

4. Sadly, most of us wander through completely unconscious that this life is a gift and in the
end, YOU will never define yourself by your riches. Your wants will matter only to you
but what will truly matter, is were you loved?! “Whatever gains I made were always due
to love and nothing else” (page 339).
You are King of your world not making the rain but by weathering the storm!