my literary jouranl....a work in progress

2. [Noora AL-Malki]
This work is digitalized by the author
Copyright © all rights reserved to Norah AL-Malki 2009
The author is a lecturer at the Department of English, College of
Education, King AbdulAziz University, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

3. [My Literary Notebook]
I dedicate this work
to my family

4. [Noora AL-Malki]
Contents
Part One: Poetry
Morning Prayer
Bridge of Life
Palestine: A Fragment
A Cyporg’s Diary
Hear Me Students
Ahmed Yaseen
Requiem of a Dream
A Chronicle of Life
Part Two: Short Stories
Lecture
The Well

5. [My Literary Notebook]
Part One
Poetry

6. [Noora AL-Malki]

7. [My Literary Notebook]
Morning Prayer
Hands reach upward
Beseeching of Him to look
On Me,
To take me in,
To announce my sin forgiven.
The eyes downcast,
The shoulders sagged,
The forehead humbled,
The soul entrapped,
I stand.
A captive of His world of light.
Dares I’ve boasted I would take,
Great creations I thought I’d make,
Thrones of life I’ve wanted to shake,
Dissolve…
Dismantle…
Disintegrate…

8. [Noora AL-Malki]
His Light is more alluring,
More enduring,
More securing.
It’s a space of pure light--
To explore--
Unique ultra dimensions--
And more--
A realm beyond
Lousy human inventions.

9. [My Literary Notebook]
Bridge of Life
Me upon the bridge of life
Have seen a lot of people walk.
They've seen me do the same,
But would never to me talk.
To their ways they would hop, jump
or just lightly walk.
To mine I would walk likewise and never talk.

10. [Noora AL-Malki]
Palestine: A Fragment
Pity, love, hate and fear
Get together on a flowery rear.
The one unto the others did tell
Of horrible stories; visions of hell.
Of Pity’s tale there’s s much to say
But brethren it suffices to pray
That never one with eyes could see
That lad wide stretched beneath a tree.
The skull, so smashed beyond repair,
Holds a couple of balls ‘gaged in a stare.
“Look hard upon him”, Pity cried,
“And you would know what’s real pride.”
Pride of being dead for a cause
For which no one besides you rose.
God bless the soul that still delights
In defying an evil intent to fight.”
Love, immersed in the tell tale passion,
Narrates his story in a curious fashion.
In song-like verse he cried in pain:
“Me thinks the world is going insane.”
On feet he sprang to mimic the mother,

11. [My Literary Notebook]
Who lost a trio of decent brothers.
“Ay that breaks the heart of ye and me,
But hers was solid as a tree.
The news to her was a joy sublime
Incurred nowhere but in a vanishing dream.
Of visions we rarely do believe
Pooh to us, your pardon I cleave.”
Hate was burning with desire
To trigger their feelings still much higher.
This time he thought it’s more proper
To tell the story of a dirty copper:
“Beholds me a mortar amidst the town
On top of which, the dirty clown
Did shake his fist at a lad.
Who neither answered back nor had
Even thought of stirring from
The place he stood in, his tomb.
The mortar rode the boy astride
So harsh and powerful was the tide
I’d rather rip that soldier’s heart
I wonder if he has that part!”

12. [Noora AL-Malki]
Of the horror Fear had seen
He told the rest of a frightful scene.
He dipped his fingers in the soil.
And brought out after a maddening toil
A bunch of little and broken bones
Upon which came a change of tone:
“Those, Ay those ’re the ribs
Of an infant.” The tightened lips
Upon which parted to declare’,
In a scream of terror “Who did care?
The bullet, being a bullet, went through
It only shivered then turned blue
The little thing did not choose,
In such a way, his life to lose.”

13. [My Literary Notebook]
A Cyborg’s Diary
i.
I've never thought of this before…
I've never thought that I would come one day
To doubt their existence;
The flesh and blood stuff are no longer felt
No longer counted a merit.
The transformation was not sudden though:
The heart caught fire and turned to ashes,
The passion fell over the rocks and broke its neck.
The brain mocked their vulnerability and took over.
Mourning the dead was not allowed,
But living was the forbidden fruit.
I've never said no, never complained,
Or attempted to escape.
I've preserved ME within
The walls of my imprisonment
And never breathed again.

14. [Noora AL-Malki]
ii.
My titanium-heart never beats,
My titanium-lungs would not breathe,
Would I count so little
‘cause my body isn’t brittle,
Would I feel less
‘cause my breaths wouldn’t stress
That I’m LIVING?
iii.
Suppose that I was human,
A Jack, a Dave or Truman,
Would this erase the fact
That I’d never be intact?
‘cause if this is be given,
Forever I’d look up to heaven
And pray to be
Man.

15. [My Literary Notebook]
iv.
Life is so dear
Just watch a flower sear
It’d brace the soil
In a maddening toil
To stay alive.
Oh, what a strife!
Just lose it flower
It isn’t power
It’s rather a chain
That keeps you in pain
Just be serene
And you will reign
The sky and land
From where you stand.

16. [Noora AL-Malki]
Hear ME Students
You've been a pain
To my troubled brain.
For weeks I fought
Through the messy parts inside your skull
And for a moment I thought
That, brightness, I've brought
Oh, it has been a task so dull;
"This is a poem great to read,
So enjoyable" I would plead.
Students would say "Oh, teacher, is it in the test?
We would, if you cancel this, study the rest”
"Students, this is a poem great to read,
So enjoyable" I would plead.
But nay, their _____heads wouldn’t get it.
I've to shout out my brains
Before it rains
On their ____heads
That this poem is only to be read.

17. [My Literary Notebook]
Ahmed Yaseen
Ahmed Yaseen
Had worked in vain
To relieve his people of a terrible pain.
Though the pain has no face
No definite origin to trace
Yet its marks 're all over the place.
Yaseen
Had seen the marks
Said to all: “thence dwells the shark.
Come with me”, he said,
They said: “Cannot you see? It’s still dark.”
Yaseen
Lost a hand, a tongue, a leg on which he stands
Could not well understand
Why his people,
Many as they are,
Could not lend a hand?

18. [Noora AL-Malki]
Yaseen
Lost his life
And on his speechless tongue a pray:
“God make the enemy rightfully pay,
The debt he owes us; the clay
Of Palestine ,whence my soul lay.”

19. [My Literary Notebook]
Requiem of a Dream
I peep through the rusty keyhole
Pretty women in pretty clothes
Sit and chatter
Just imagine a hive of industrious bees
Without the honey
The door creaks
My mother holds me by the ears
Takes me to my bed
Where I cry myself to sleep.
That night
I dreamed
Of the pretty women in the pretty clothes
Turning into tiny butterflies
Spreading their colorful wings
And flying over my head.
They begged me to sing to them
Which I did.
They glowed in the darkness of my room
They laughed to dissipate the gloom
I laughed with them

20. [Noora AL-Malki]
That night
The pretty women in the pretty clothes
weaved the bright old heaven
Its stars, its darkness and what’s hidden
Into colorful tales.
Tales they’ve told
Of mermaids old
Sojourning in the wide old sea,
Tales of wonders
Which one shall ponder
If ever one desires to see
What lies beneath this shell
Of insensitive humanity.
The door creaks,
My mother speaks
Of morning,
Of school,
And breakfast too.
I search the room
For the pretty women in the pretty clothes
Nothing but gloom
And my mother.

21. [My Literary Notebook]
The Chronicle of Life
Big Bang.
Life.
Then Me.
Evolution, they say.
Parasites, monkeys and trees
Are my predecessors, and
Next of kin.
Evolution is dull, I say.
Every single drop of life on this planet
Is
definitely
mutant,
surprisingly
Unique.

22. [Noora AL-Malki]
Part Two
Short Stories

23. [My Literary Notebook]

24. [Noora AL-Malki]
Lecture
I am lost again. I think it is the third time that I feel disoriented today and
still it is the first lecture! The difference this time is that none of my
students has uttered a single word or made the slightest move to distract
me. Usually, one will get so bored that she would find the ceiling or her
friend’s hair more attractive and worthy of special attention and deep
concentration than what is really going on or being said in the lecture.
These instances of escape I tend to register even when I am way deep into
resurrecting one of Poe’s poetic personas or stripping a poem naked for
their eyes to see how it resembles human beings in all things but their
unkindness and horrific aspirations. Immediately, I fall. Mortal again. The
parallel universe I have been reconstructing collapses and reality peaks
with its ugly head through Tennyson’s “The Lady of Shallot” or
Coleridge’s “The Rime of the Ancient Marnier”.
This time they have done nothing. Unless their presence inside the class is
counted as a distraction, they actually were quieter than usual today. Truly
I’ve been told by many people including friends and family members that I
do look angrier than ever when I fall into such trances.

25. [My Literary Notebook]
“Do I look THAT bad father?…I mean when I am …” I let the words trail
off.
“Ogre” he intended it as a joke but his tears spoke the truth.
The way they look at me as though they expect me to shout at them or say
something mean as usual is draining life out of me. I had to look away.
“The walls are all painted blue,” I heard myself announce this astounding
discovery. Every wall in the college is painted in this devastating and
disgusting blue color, even the staff offices, the library and the cafeteria.
You feel like you are suspended in the sky with no solid ground to stand
on. I approach the wall to my right and run my hand on its wrinkled face.
Expectant eyes burn holes in my back.
“Why does not she finish today’s poem first and give us this “wall” poem
next week?” I heard a student whisper to her friend. I had to turn around
and face them. Again.
I really hate these lapses. It is like being sucked into a vortex. No way that
you can reach for someone or something to save you. They seem to happen
more frequently now that I want to hide and be alone rather than parading
in front of almost two hundred students and brag about my knowledge of
Romantic or Victorian poets.

26. [Noora AL-Malki]
I came up with this seemingly bright solution last year when I asked one of
my students to be my Face. To pay special attention to my lapses so when I
stop and show symptoms of being lost, she has to step in and remind me of
what we are talking about. The problem is that what she understands is
different from what I usually say, so when my Face hurries to the rescue
she often confuses me even more.
I used to recall the names of all my students who might be more than two
hundred and in different classes. I used to remember their full names and
which classes they are in, but now I find trouble sometimes in deciding
about which direction to take when I leave the class and want to get to my
office.
I am still lost and the students are looking at me with wide open eyes
hoping that the lapse would last several more moments this time. They are
desperately in need of a break. I really do not blame them. But I feel
thirsty too. I am lost and thirsty. What a horrible combination! I am lost in
the middle of this barren desert. No water. No nearby oasis like those we
dream of sometimes. And the sun delights in paying special attention to my
bare skin. It is not enough that I want to fix a memory malfunction. I had to
be deprived of comfort also. I had to say something.

27. [My Literary Notebook]
A few unintelligible words and phrases escaped my dry lips and filled the
air of the room. A student at the back knotted her brows in such a strange
and funny way. My brain most likely did not bother to register what I’ve
said. It knew this time that I am completely out of the teaching mode. I’ve
switched channels to hysterical laughing, which is more appropriate to
such a situation and a very fine cover for my state of mind. Students shared
in the marathon.
“Miss, time is up and we want to have our break before the next
lecture….Have you finished?” She says feigning a disturbing politeness,
which I detest, but permanently fall for. “Yes” and I leaked into the
crowded hall.

28. [Noora AL-Malki]
The Well
“Why did you jump in with me Hamed? “ He said.
“To save You idiot and….” Hamed answered with a sneer, but let the
words trail off. The saving part reminded him of the urgency of his
mission. For the first time in his life he is afraid.
“And what?” Ali challenged. But Hamed seemed to be deep in thought.
Ali was a typical tribe teenager. He had a passion for hunting and was
proud of always carrying his rifle on his shoulder like a real tribe warrior
would do. He would not allow the herdsman’s son, Hamed, to laugh at
him. Besides he did not need him in the first place. Everyone knows that
Ali is athletic and can jump over crags and very high hills without being
harmed.
“I can save myself …you know.” Ali intended this as an expression of
anger, but it came out more like a cry for the other’s attention.
Hamed came out of his stupor and ran his hands on the wall of the ancient
well. There was still daylight streaming into the well, so Ali saw how this
simple act affected his companion.
“What is going on with you?” Ali insisted this time.
“There is no way out of here Ali…we are going to die here.”
Ali just waved his hand in the air as if dismissing the inevitable with this
simple motion. Hamed grabbed his hand with such force that Ali winced of
pain. He made the reluctant Ali feel the wall of the well. It was flat.

29. [My Literary Notebook]
“This is the ancient well, which the tribe elders ordered us to keep away
from….they say it is cursed,” Hamed said in resignation.
“ Nonsense….” Was Ali’s unconvincing retort.
“It is high you see….WE cannot climb out because of the flat walls”
Hamed supplied.
“The elders will search for us and find us,” Ali countered.
“The elders told us to keep away and they would not think of this place
….nothing happened here for a long time, so why suspect us to be here of
all places?” Hamed said this more to himself than to Ali.
They have been here for some time now. They are up to their shoulders in
the deep well’s water and Ali started to feel uneasy. The only sport he
hated is swimming. His legs get weary fast.
“Are you ok?” Hamed asked feeling pity for the young man. It is funny.
Yesterday he hated him so much for laughing at his father in public and
throwing dirt into his wrinkled face. He wanted to kill Ali there in front of
everyone, but his father pleaded with him not to do so. For his father he
would tolerate everything, but being treated like a slave is something else.
He always dreamed of leaving the tribe and travelling away. May be to
another tribe which will treat him better. Now he looks into the red eyes of
his oppressor and wants for all this to end. It is just a very bad dream. He
blinked and found himself extending a hand to Ali to support him against
the wall of the well. This Ali was instantly grateful for. *I have to be an
honorable man* and he instantly cursed this nagging thought. He would
never forget Ali’s tyranny ….*NEVER*

30. [Noora AL-Malki]
“It is sunset…” Ali breathed out.
“Let’s perform Maghrib prayer” Hamed suggested and Ali complied.
It is the first time that they pray together and Ali naturally asked Hamed to
call for prayer and be the Imam. Ali knew that Hamed memorized the Holy
Quran and had a lovely voice, which made Ali relax a bit and forget about
the trouble they are in. He envied him whenever the tribe elders asked for
Hamed to be their Imam because of his fine voice. Many times he asked
his father to be the Imam and he would refuse because his son cannot be
anything comparable to Hamed. He hated his father and the picky tribe
elders. Hamed, however, was the easy target to hit and wound. The little
toy that he can smash without being seriously punished.
When they finished prayer, they moved to the other side of the well.
“Why did you jump in with me?” Ali blurted, this time more determent to
get an answer. Hamed looked into his face searching for a justification for
this ill-timed question, but found none. He let his head fall back on the
wall.
“I’ve asked a question….” Ali reminded Hamed.
“I do not have an answer for this one…ask another question.”
“Are we going to die tonight?” was Ali’s other question.
“Not tonight definitely….it might be a slow death…a VERY slow death,
but definitely not tonight,” and Hamed laughed.
“I am sorry….” And Ali trailed off.

31. [My Literary Notebook]
Hamed was shocked to hear the words because he did not expect the
mighty Ali to be humbled by anything. Death seems to do miracles and he
loved it…for just an instant. Hamed only nodded his head. Ali felt grateful
for him not to require an explanation of the statement, which might have
cost him the loss of his tribal pride.
Reflections and memories abound so each of them retired to his resting
place by the wall and let himself be absorbed by the darkness of the ancient
well.

32. [Noora AL-Malki]
END