Marital Rape

 Rape is rape regardless of the relationship between the rapist and
the victim. It can be a total stranger; someone you recognize by
sight, but have never really communicated with; someone you
know superficially, a neighbor or a colleague; a friend, a boy-friend
or a former boyfriend; a live-in partner, or a former partner;
someone you are married to or have been married to in the past.
 Rape is a very personal and intimate traumatic experience. Our
experiences and reactions to rape may differ widely, and although
there are many similarities in the way that we feel about being the
victim of rape, regardless of the relationship between us and the
rapist, there are differences between stranger and intimate rape,
and in this presentation, we are trying to describe and offer an
understanding of some of the specific problems regarding marital
rape (or rape by an intimate) as opposed to stranger rape.

 Stranger rape is usually a one-off, someone you don't know,
with whom you don't share any experiences or history. When
the assault happens, there can be no doubt as to what is
happening:
 In marital rape the circumstances are very different. It is - quite
apart from a physical and sexual violation - a betrayal of trust.
Here is a person whom you thought you knew intimately, with
whom you share a history, a home and quite often children , a
person with whom you shared your most intimate secrets and
fears, and whom you believe to love you.
 Marital rape is so destructive because it betrays the
fundamental basis of the marital relationship, because it
questions every understanding you have not only of your
partner and the marriage, but of yourself. You end up feeling
betrayed, humiliated and, above all, very confused.

“When it is the person you have entrusted your life to who rapes you,
it isn’t just physical or sexual assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of
your marriage, of your person, of your trust."

 Many women who are victims of marital rape have
great difficulty in defining it as such.
 The traditional idea - it is impossible for a man to
rape his wife and that somehow, in taking our
marriage vows basically denied ourselves the right
to say 'no', is still prevalent amongst wives as
much as amongst their husbands.
 A wife being raped will often question her right to
refuse intercourse with her husband, and while she
may realize that legally it now constitutes rape,
there are many reasons which may prevent her
from perceiving it in such a light.

 We prefer to see it possibly as a communication problem (did I
make it clear enough that I did not want intercourse tonight)we
may see it as a misunderstanding (although I told him I didn't
want to, maybe I gave him the wrong signals somehow), we
may have religious issues which question our right to refuse
intercourse (I have got to submit myself to him and accept his
will above mine as my Lord and Master).
 Basically, as wives being raped by our husbands, we look for
every reason, every excuse to deny it is Rape because we do
not want to accept the alternative: it is Rape, he is hurting and
humiliating us with intent, we can no longer trust him, turn to
him in comfort, gain reassurance and protection from his
company.

 Longer recovery from trauma. Contrary to popular belief, the
trauma actually may last longer for the marital rape victim than for
the stranger rape victim. Reasons include lack of recognition and
ability to share the pain, and the profound sense of a betrayal of
trust.
 Higher likelihood of repeated assaults. Research shows that
women who are marital rape victims are more likely to experience
repeated assaults than other rape victims; in fact, among battered
women, sexual assault may be a routine part of the pattern of the
abuse. As noted by one researcher “women who are raped” and
battered by their partners experience the violence in various
ways—e.g., some are battered during the sexual violence or the
rape may follow a physically violent episode where the husband
wants to ‘make up’ and forces his wife to have sex against her
will.”

 Pressure to stay with perpetrator. A victim with children who
lacks outside employment may be financially dependent on
the spouse and feel there is no way to leave the situation, and
the victim may face additional pressure from family members
or friends to remain with the perpetrator.
 Negative effects on children in the household. Such
children may witness the sexual violence or otherwise be
affected by it.
 Difficulty identifying what happened as a
crime. A victim may find it difficult, for cultural reasons, to
define the other spouse’s conduct as rape or identify someone
she married and loves as a “rapist.

 A judge in India has officially confirmed that rape
laws do not apply to married couples — once you’re
legally wed, forced sex is no longer a crime.
 What’s especially chilling is that the judge, Virender
Bhat, was hearing a case in which a woman alleged
she had been drugged, then forced to marry, and then
raped — in other words, she hadn’t consented to the
marriage or the sex. Bhat said there was no evidence
that the accuser had been drugged, but he also said
that if the woman’s husband had forced himself on her,
that wouldn’t qualify as rape under Indian law.
 WOWW !!!

 In 2008, a 28 year old woman from East Delhi
showed up at her employer’s home with cuts and
bruises on her body. The previous night, her
husband forced her into having sex even after
she refused multiple times. She claims that in
her locality, all the women undergo the same
cruelty. She says there is nothing she could have
done, simply because she was the woman in the
marriage and in our country, women cannot file a
case against their husbands. She alleged that this
was a regular happening, saying this happened to
her and other women in her locality on a “daily
basis.”

This wasn’t the first time marital rape has been an issue in India.
Recently, after a student was raped and murdered in Delhi, a committee
headed by former Indian Supreme Court chief justice J.S. Verma made
a number of recommendations for improving India’s rape laws, including
doing away with the marital rape exemption. According to the Verma
Committee’s report:
Under the Indian Penal Code ,sexual intercourse without consent is
prohibited. However, an exception to the offence of rape exists in
relation to un-consented sexual intercourse by a husband upon a wife.
The Committee recommended that the exception to marital rape should
be removed. Marriage should not be considered as an irrevocable
consent to sexual acts.
The country strengthened its sexual assault laws based on the
committee’s recommendations, but the marital rape law remained
unchanged — and this new ruling just reconfirms it.

Section 375, the provision of rape in the
Indian Penal Code (IPC), echoes very
archaic sentiments, mentioned as its
exception clause- “Sexual intercourse by
a man with his own wife, the wife not
being under 15 years of age, is not rape.”

 In a report prepared by the Parliament of India on the Criminal Law
Amendment Bill, the Members of Parliament jointly stated that “for
ages, the family system has evolved and it is moving forward. Family
is able to resolve the problems and there is also a provision under
the law for cruelty against women. It was, therefore, felt that if the
marital rape is brought under the law, the entire family system
will be under great stress and the Committee may perhaps be
doing more injustice.”
 Is the institution of marriage more important than the basic right of a
woman to protect herself from abuse in her marriage? Just because
a woman consented to the act of marriage, does she involuntarily
consent to acts of abuse taking place in the course of her marriage?
If a woman can protect herself against domestic abuse and violence,
does rape not constitute domestic abuse?

India is very conservative regarding sexual intercourse. It is expected of
people to be virgins till they get married. Sexual relations before marriage
are severely looked down upon and people practicing so are ostracized by
our traditional, rigid society.
People are mentally conditioned to look at marriage as a free pass to have
sex. And there rises a sense of entitlement.
The notion of the wife being an "asset" is deep seated.
Personally, all the humdrum about reverse victimization of the husband is
baseless. We are scared of blowing the lid over the ugly truth of Indian
marriages.
An unscrupulous woman can accuse any man she had sex with of rape.
Then should we remove the current rape laws as well ?
If there is a law, there will be loopholes and people will use them ruthlessly.
That does not stop us from making laws against other heinous crimes.
OUTSTANDING ANSWER BY
DEBOLEENA ROY -QUORA

The first step towards penalizing marital rape is to accept that it happens. We
are too parochial to accept that. We feel that it is woman at fault if she refuses
the husband. It is her duty to obey her husband.
Marriage is an institution that hides a lot of ugliness of our patriarchal society -
forced abortions, extortion, torture (mental and physical). We are squeamish
of dissecting marriage. Arranged Marriage is a barter. An exchange of
promises. Sex is one of them. Marital right to sexual intercourse is a firmly
held belief.
Marriage is a solution to rape in many parts of India. Its like you walk into a
store and damage any product, you need to buy it / pay the price of it. A raped
woman is damaged goods. Marry her and rid the family of a liable asset, you
are redeemed of your crime. Such a society is incapable of understanding
marital rape.

WHY THIS PPT IN ETHICS
AND VALUES CLASS ?

We
as a society should look at sexual relations in a more open manner that offers
equality to both the genders. Marital rape should feel wrong "intuitively". It
does for me, but do YOU feel the same ? Then perhaps we will be ready for a
law against it.
Out of around 200 countries in the world, 104 of them accept marital rape as a
punishable offense. (2006 data). Soviet Union criminalized it in 1922. If 104
countries can figure a way out to implement it, then we should too.

http://www.change.org/p/cri
minalize-marital-rape
By singing this petition, you will be urging Smt Maneka Sanjay Gandhi,
Minister of Women and Child Development, to introduce a bill in either the
Lok Sabha or Rajya Sabha that amends the Indian Penal Code and the
Protection Of Women From Domestic Violence Act, 2005
Kadari Harshini – 12BEC0020
Advait J Khelkar – 12BEC0052

Marital Rape

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