This document discusses the "Crazy Cycle" that can occur in marriages. The Crazy Cycle happens when spouses focus on their own needs and feel unloved or disrespected by their partner. This causes them to react in ways that make their partner also feel unloved or disrespected, perpetuating the cycle. The document argues that the secret to breaking this cycle is for husbands to show their wives unconditional love, and for wives to show their husbands unconditional respect, regardless of whether they feel they deserve it. It provides biblical passages supporting the idea that men need respect and women need love to feel fulfilled in their relationships.

2. Presenting:
Stop the Crazy Cycle

3. “The tongue of the wise
brings healing”
Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)

4. Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has
been saying it for ages. Cracking the
communication code between husband and wife
involves understanding one thing: that
unconditional respect is as powerful for him as
unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret to
marriage that every couples seeks, and yet few
couples ever find.

5. “As far as the Lord is
concerned, men and
women need each other.”
1 Corinthians 11:11 (CEV)
(She needs his love; He needs her respect)

6. “Love and respect are
means to use wisdom
and understanding to
establish your home”
Proverbs 24:3 (CEV)

7. WHAT IS THE “Crazy Cycle”?
When a wife feels unloved, she
tends to react in ways that feel
disrespectful to her husband.
When a husband feels
disrespected, he tends to react in
ways that feel unloving to his wife.
And around and around they go
—on the “Crazy Cycle.”

8. The Crazy Cycle

9. “The Crazy Cycle” happens when
spouses focus on their own needs and
overlook the needs of the other. But
all this information will do a marriage
little good unless both spouses commit
themselves to the practice of being
UNCONDITIONAL”; with the husband
giving the wife UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
and by the wife giving her husband
UNCONDITIONAL RESPECT!

10. KEY:
“Love and Respect
Must Be Unconditional”

11. She Gets No Love  Shows No respect
He Gets No Respect  Shows No Love
Harder for Men to Love their Wives and Harder Still
for Women to Respect their Husbands
“Men hear Criticism as Contempt; Women feel
Silence as Hostility”
Need to learn to express love/respect in ways that
are meaningful to your spouse
“We easily see what’s done to us before we see
what we are doing to our mate!”
Feelings if getting No Love and getting No Respect
can keep a couple spinning in the Crazy Cycle
over & over

12. “Nevertheless, each individual among
you also is to love his own wife even
as himself, and the wife must see to it
that she respects her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33

13. Unconditional respect
does not mean a wife
must be respectful of
evil behavior.

14. The best way for women to
motivate their husbands to
love them is by showing them
respect whether they deserve
it or not.

15. Unconditional respect, like
unconditional love, is all
about how one SOUNDS (tone
of voice and word choice) and
APPEARS (facial expressions and
physical actions).

16. The wife’s greatest value is Love! One of her
greatest fears is that if she shows her husband
respect, he will treat her like a doormat, abuse
her, or worse. Feminist voices have trumpeted
this idea for years.
Any man with basic good will want to serve his
wife, and he would even die for her.

17. The wife is to respect her husband as
first among equals and he is to honor
her as first in IMPORTANCE. This is
something to be practiced
REGARDLESS of feelings.

18. START ENERGIZING THE CYCLE:
Try to visualize the Crazy Cycles in Slow-Motion!
Understand that Men have Blue Sunglasses and
Hearing-Aids, and Women have Pink Ones!
“You can’t get what you need by depriving your
partner of what he/she needs.”
Be willing to obey the Scripture’s authority and call
to “carry each other’s burdens to fulfill the law of
Christ”
Whoever is more mature should change first
He/She may not respond to your change in the
way and in the timeframe you like. You have no
control over how and when they choose to
change
Decide to use new words and take new actions

19. THE ENERGIZING CYCLE:

20. QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF:
-What am I doing to show more Love/Respect to
my spouse ?
-Am I finding ways to develop greater emotional
“togetherness” with him/her?
-Am I demanding of my spouse more than God
wants me to?
- If I’m fully loved and forgiven by God, I should
have less problem doing what the Bible (and the
Holy Spirit) calls me to do in my marriage……