This document provides guidance on having difficult conversations with employees. It discusses 10 ways to make tough talks easier such as addressing issues as soon as possible, setting a specific time and place, focusing on the problem not the person, being collaborative, and documenting the meeting. The document also discusses how to provide feedback so it is heard, including asking permission, using a soft entry, not blaming others, keeping it simple and direct, and reaching agreement. Finally, it provides conversation starters and notes the importance of documentation.

1. – KPA CONFIDENTIAL –
Hard Conversations: How to have
tough talks with employees
February 4, 2010

2. Learning Objectives
• 10 ways to make a tough talk
easier
• How to provide feedback so it
is heard
• Conversation starters
• Documentation
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3. Tough Talks
Inappropriate dress
Personal hygiene
Vulgar language
Poor Performance
Insubordination
Chronic Tardiness
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4. Start With Yourself
• What is the purpose of the conversation?
• What do you want to accomplish?
• What assumptions are you making about
the person’s intentions?
• How is your attitude toward the
conversation influencing your behavior?
• What are the facts about the situation?
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5. 10 Ways To Make A Tough Talk Easier
1. Address the problem as soon as possible
2. Set a specific time and place
3. Sit, don’t stand
4. Private location
5. Focus on the issue, not the person
6. Be specific about the concern
7. Be collaborative
8. Avoid negative statements
9. Encourage the subordinate
10.Document the meeting
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6. Making Yourself Heard
• Ask permission to provide the feedback
– “ I have something I need to discuss with you, when are
you available?”
• Use a soft entry
– “ I have some feedback that is rather difficult to hear”
• Don’t blame others
– “this is behavior that I (or company policy) require you
to change”
• Keep it simple and be direct
– “I am talking with you because this is an issue you need
to address”
• Accentuate the positive
– “If you can resolve this issue we can discuss the
promotion
6–

7. Making Yourself Heard
• Be sensitive to culture differences
– “I understand that this might be new information for
you”
• Reach agreement about the required change
– “So you will set your alarm 10 minutes earlier to get
here on time?”
• Confirm the dates
– “We will see this change by tomorrow and then
ongoing”
• Follow- Up
– “Let’s get together next Thursday to review progress”
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8. Three Of The Toughest Talks
• Personal Hygiene
– Be sensitive to cultural difference
– Tie to business concerns
– Involve medical personal if not able to resolve
• Poor Performance
– Specific time, date, individual involved
– Do not make it personal
– Document the required change
• No Raise
– Review performance and offer praise
– Explain the business circumstance
– Be consistent and be fair
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9. Conversation Starters
• “ I have something I would like to discuss
with you that will help us work together
more effectively”
• “I’d like to talk with you about___, but first I
would like to get your point of view”
• “I need your help with what just happened,
do you have a few minutes to talk about it”
• “This is a hard thing to hear, and a hard
thing for me to tell you but we need to
resolve as quickly as possible”
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10. Documentation
• Always document the conversation
– Notes if a feedback session or oral warning
• Time, location, attending, issue, resolution, follow-up
– Disciplinary Action Form if a serious offense
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11. Keep Calm and Carry On
• Prepare, use a script if necessary
• Select time and location
• Be objective, never make it personal
• Remain calm at all time
• Address as quickly as possible, don’t delay
it won’t go away
• Document all conversations
• Set time to follow up- positive or negative
reinforcement
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12. Contact Information
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www.kpaonline.com
bross@kpaonline.com
866-356-1735