This talk will guide you when having a tough conversation with a teammate who drastically overstepped the line. Have you ever needed to have a tough conversation with a teammate who drastically overstepped or a client who didn’t respect your decisions? Maybe you’ve wanted to bring up a problem you’ve had at work and don’t know how. If the thought of having those conversations stress you out, this talk is for you. In this talk, I’ll share some practical techniques will help overcome your aversion to conflict and get to effective resolutions. We’ll go over several examples of the types of conflict team members face and how to deal with them.

1. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0
Joshua Mauldin, Productized 2019
Conflict Resolution
for People Who
Hate Conflict
Copyright 2019

2. 1. Preparing
2. Having
3. Disaster Recovery
Topics

3. Hello, it’s me

4. Embracing healthy conflict
strengthens you, your team,
and the products you build.

5. How to Structure Effective Conversations

6. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0
Part One
Preparing for the
Conversation

7. Preparing for the Conversation
1. Check Yourself
2. Get the Facts
3. Form Conclusions
4. Set Goals

9. Don’t assume bad
intentions over neglect and
misunderstanding.
__
Hanlon’s Razor

10. Preparing for the Conversation
1. Check Yourself
2. Get the Facts
3. Form Conclusions
4. Set Goals

11. ● Write the whole situation down
● Highlight the observable and objective
● These form the basis of your conversation
and show how you reached your
conclusion
Get the Facts

12. One-off or
Pattern?
● If it is a pattern, you’ll have a stronger case
● Be prepared to go into 2-3 examples

13. Preparing for the Conversation
1. Check Yourself
2. Get the Facts
3. Form Conclusions
4. Set Goals

14. ● How did it made you feel?
● How did it impact your team?
● How did it impact the product?
Form
Conclusions

15. When you
______,
I feel
________.

16. Preparing for the Conversation
1. Check Yourself
2. Get the Facts
3. Form Conclusions
4. Set Goals

17. Establish Your
Goals
● Make these your guiding principles
● Write it down, take it in with you
Sample goals
● They stop micromanaging
● They respect your agency
● They show up on time to critical meetings

18. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0
Part Two
Having the
Conversation

19. How Effective Conversations are Structured

20. 1. Start with Safety
2. Lead with Facts
3. Share Conclusions
4. Open it Up
Having the Conversation

21. Start with
Safety
● Build safety: ask for permission to have the
conversation
○ “Is this a bad time?”
● Look at your body language, remain
neutral or open

22. 1. Start with Safety
2. Lead with Facts
3. Share Conclusions
4. Open it Up
Having the Conversation

23. 1. Start with Safety
2. Lead with Facts
3. Share Conclusions
4. Open it Up
Having the Conversation

24. Share Your
Conclusions
● Talk about how it affected you or the
conclusions you drew
● Avoid judgements and speak tentatively
○ “It seems like…” or “It looks like…”

25. 1. Start with Safety
2. Lead with Facts
3. Share Conclusions
4. Open it Up
Having the Conversation

26. Opening it Up
Closed questions: not so good
● Isn’t that the case?
● Am I wrong?
● Does that makes sense?
● What can we do to ensure this never
happens again?
● Why did you do that?
Open-ended questions: good
● How do you see it?
● What are your thoughts?
● Can you help me understand?
● What might I be missing here?

27. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0
Part Three
Disaster Recovery

29. 1. Safety Check
2. Add Contrast
3. Create Shared Purpose
4. Pull Back
Disaster Recovery

30. Safety Check Signs someone may not be feeling safe
● Withdrawing, terse responses
● Abrasive, yelling
● Shaking/trembling
● Crossed arms/avoiding eye contact

31. 1. Safety Check
2. Add Contrast
3. Create Shared Purpose
4. Pull Back
Disaster Recovery

32. I’m not saying
______,
I’m saying
________.

33. 1. Safety Check
2. Add Contrast
3. Create Shared Purpose
4. Pull Back
Disaster Recovery

35. Create Shared
Purpose
● We all want the same thing
● Our definitions of good might differ from
each other
● Ask clarifying questions:
○ How does this fit into our objective?
○ What’s the core issue?
○ What’s the end goal of what you’re
trying to accomplish?

36. 1. Safety Check
2. Add Contrast
3. Create Shared Purpose
4. Pull Back
Disaster Recovery

37. Pull Back ● Know going into it that your conversation
might fail
● It’s okay to walk away

38. ●
●
●
Thanks! Let’s keep in touch.

39. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0
Thank you!

40. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0
Epilogue
Helpful resources

41. Never Split the
Difference
Crucial Conversations Radical Candor How to Have a Good
Day

42. Helpful resources
● The best teams thrive on disagreement
● 5 Dysfunctions of a Team
● Atlassian Team Playbook
● The five keys to a successful Google team

43. Cheat Sheet