1) The document discusses the concept of "rescuing" others, which is repeatedly doing things for people that they can and should do for themselves. 2) There are two main reasons people engage in rescuing behavior: fear of potential pain, and needing to fulfill their own needs by overcompensating. 3) True self-care involves being aware of one's own needs without demanding others meet them or feeling ashamed of having needs, and intentionally keeping oneself emotionally healthy.

1. Self-Care and The ‘Rescuer’ Complex
© Joel Young (2011)
With acknowledgements to D.Riddell’s& M. Rosenburg’sconcepts.
Emotional Economics
A recent development of my thoughts around personality has
led me to focus much more on ‘needs’. To need is to be
human. In the beginning it was said, ‘It’s not good for man to
be alone.’ and I suspect this was a reflection of our great
human need for connection. As a link to other workshops
check this diagram to see where needs/longings may fit in.
Understanding &Filling Human Needs
De-shaming ‘needs’
Q. What are some basic human
needs?
Friends, family and co-workers
Q.Relationships help meet
my need for…?
Work Satisfaction & Uniqueness
Q. What need does work
meet in my life?
My Story = My Needs
Q. Because of my life/family story I have a need for…?
Rescuing is repeatedly doing for others what they can and
should do for themselves. We do this because of two main
reasons.
1. Fear Driven
Lack of reassurances to deal with the potential pain.
Q.My fear of _____________ leads me to___________.
2. Need Driven
Over-compensating as a strategy to meet my needs.
Q.I ‘rescue’ because it fulfils my need for ___________.
Q. A better strategy to meet this need would be ___________.
To Summarise…
We all have needs, they are not to be ‘shamed’ as being
‘needy’, nor are they to be translated into demands that we put
on others. We do need to be aware of what we need so we can
then be intentional about keeping ourselves ‘healthy’
emotionally.
Further Resources- www.NewInsight.co.nz
Notes:

2. Self-Care and The ‘Rescuer’ Complex
© Joel Young (2011)
With acknowledgements to D.Riddell’s& M. Rosenburg’sconcepts.
Some Common Human Needs
CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be
known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmth
HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presence
PLAY
joy
humour
PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order
PHYSICAL WELLBEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water
MEANING
awareness
celebration of
life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding
AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity