How to lose a job?




                                                                                              Just Let Me
Beer mug.jpg                                                                                     Go!!!


               September 21st, 2012
               Disclaimer: All opinions expressed here are mine and does not reflect the Firm’s outlook in any
               case
               Gurpreet Singh
The Prison Feeling - Office




Please set me free from this Prison!
                            How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #1 – Monday Blues




A Report says: 33% people fall sick on Monday(s).. Lets see how!

      Nothing better than an Extended weekend –
     A Sick leave on Monday solves Monday Blues
                                                 How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #2 – Punctuality Punctured
                      Excuses

                                Flat Tyre



                                Maid got late



                                Rains
Be late -15 minutes
       daily!

                                  How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #3 – Conduct Toxic Meetings

Seat

Eat

Meet

Cheat

      And Propose a new time for the next
                 Meeting …
                                   How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #4 – Wife Vs Work
                Steps:
                             Fight with Wife on the
                             phone during the
                             office hours



                             Skip Office meetings
                             and date your wife



                             Honey, please book a
                             movie ticket for
 Wife…!                      tomorrow and I will
                             take a sick leave for
                             the same

                               How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #5 – Dress Codes




                                     The Dude!



Bermudas + Slippers/ Crocs in office = Super Cool Look


                                            How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #6 – Seeking Conditional Feedback




And the condition is I expect only “Applause” in feedback
sessions, for all the mess-ups, I am already updated
upon!
                                          How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #7 – Cupid @ Work




Love is blind: It can happen at office as well. Plus, you gain
   attention as everybody talks about you (not for work)

                                               How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #8 – Obligation to Descend




    Go down in morals and fight with everybody
    in the team and Become an Angry bird
                                    How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #9 – Whats on your mind?




                                                            If the firewall has
                                                             allowed FB, we
                           FB chat is better than            should open FB
  FB at office is        Office chat- lets use this to       during the office
      fun!                  chat with each other                   hours




                Update your Facebook status before
 100
Likes
                checking the hand-overs for different projects
                A Hand-over can wait, a FB update can not!
                                                         How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #10 – Multitasking
                                                Only Updates on Servers –
                                                No updates on my project!!!




You are being on hold as Technical
 Updates are taking place on our
             Servers                                                           Client




                                     Employee




                                                           How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #11 – Office Gossip




He said, She said, They said … Blah Blah

                                  How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #12 – Keep My Secret!
 Jack, Buddy, I just got                     Wow! Super Cool!
interviewed in ABC firm                    Don’t worry, I will keep
                                                 your secret!
                                            By the way, what are
                                                they offering?




           No Secret keepers at office
                                           How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #13 – Misfiring Emails/Chats




   Misfiring emails/chats (containing Back biting of
colleagues/Boss) to “wrong recipients” can be “lethal”

                                          How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #14 – (Over)Booze in Office Parties
    Free Liquor




                                 How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #14 – (Over)Booze in Office Parties




                 Team Spirit(s)


                                  How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #14 – (Over)Booze in Office Parties




  Free-style dance (Bhangra with Salsa / Rum with Whisky)
                                           How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #15 – (Over)Booze in Office
Parties




              The Next day
               - Hangover




                                How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #16 – Cover letter Xeroxed




If your current Boss “catches” your Cover letter-printout for
     your “new” job, it would definitely make an impact

                                              How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Activity #17 – Be the Monster




If does not work: then find a girl in Monster.com who
can help you to get a new job
                                       How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Mission Accomplished – You are Fired!




    I am FREEEEEEEEE NOW …

                             How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Even if you are not fired!
It means that there is some one “Up” there who loves you ….


Then find the someone, and   Marry your Manager (high risks, high gains).




                                                              How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
Gp.singh.tech@gmail.com

                          How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |

How to lose a job?

  • 1.
    How to losea job? Just Let Me Beer mug.jpg Go!!! September 21st, 2012 Disclaimer: All opinions expressed here are mine and does not reflect the Firm’s outlook in any case Gurpreet Singh
  • 2.
    The Prison Feeling- Office Please set me free from this Prison! How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 3.
    Activity #1 –Monday Blues A Report says: 33% people fall sick on Monday(s).. Lets see how! Nothing better than an Extended weekend – A Sick leave on Monday solves Monday Blues How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 4.
    Activity #2 –Punctuality Punctured Excuses Flat Tyre Maid got late Rains Be late -15 minutes daily! How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 5.
    Activity #3 –Conduct Toxic Meetings Seat Eat Meet Cheat And Propose a new time for the next Meeting … How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 6.
    Activity #4 –Wife Vs Work Steps: Fight with Wife on the phone during the office hours Skip Office meetings and date your wife Honey, please book a movie ticket for Wife…! tomorrow and I will take a sick leave for the same How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 7.
    Activity #5 –Dress Codes The Dude! Bermudas + Slippers/ Crocs in office = Super Cool Look How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 8.
    Activity #6 –Seeking Conditional Feedback And the condition is I expect only “Applause” in feedback sessions, for all the mess-ups, I am already updated upon! How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 9.
    Activity #7 –Cupid @ Work Love is blind: It can happen at office as well. Plus, you gain attention as everybody talks about you (not for work) How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 10.
    Activity #8 –Obligation to Descend Go down in morals and fight with everybody in the team and Become an Angry bird How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 11.
    Activity #9 –Whats on your mind? If the firewall has allowed FB, we FB chat is better than should open FB FB at office is Office chat- lets use this to during the office fun! chat with each other hours Update your Facebook status before 100 Likes checking the hand-overs for different projects A Hand-over can wait, a FB update can not! How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 12.
    Activity #10 –Multitasking Only Updates on Servers – No updates on my project!!! You are being on hold as Technical Updates are taking place on our Servers Client Employee How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 13.
    Activity #11 –Office Gossip He said, She said, They said … Blah Blah How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 14.
    Activity #12 –Keep My Secret! Jack, Buddy, I just got Wow! Super Cool! interviewed in ABC firm Don’t worry, I will keep your secret! By the way, what are they offering? No Secret keepers at office How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 15.
    Activity #13 –Misfiring Emails/Chats Misfiring emails/chats (containing Back biting of colleagues/Boss) to “wrong recipients” can be “lethal” How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 16.
    Activity #14 –(Over)Booze in Office Parties Free Liquor How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 17.
    Activity #14 –(Over)Booze in Office Parties Team Spirit(s) How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 18.
    Activity #14 –(Over)Booze in Office Parties Free-style dance (Bhangra with Salsa / Rum with Whisky) How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 19.
    Activity #15 –(Over)Booze in Office Parties The Next day - Hangover How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 20.
    Activity #16 –Cover letter Xeroxed If your current Boss “catches” your Cover letter-printout for your “new” job, it would definitely make an impact How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 21.
    Activity #17 –Be the Monster If does not work: then find a girl in Monster.com who can help you to get a new job How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 22.
    Mission Accomplished –You are Fired! I am FREEEEEEEEE NOW … How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 23.
    Even if youare not fired! It means that there is some one “Up” there who loves you …. Then find the someone, and Marry your Manager (high risks, high gains). How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
  • 24.
    Gp.singh.tech@gmail.com How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |