The document discusses different types of irrational and unrealistic "hot thoughts" that can lead to anger: 1) Demandingness is having the notion that everything should go a certain way and having unreasonable expectations. 2) Awfulizing is thinking about things in extreme negative terms by exaggerating problems. 3) Condemning is putting yourself or others down in a negative manner. 4) Low frustration tolerance is having unrealistic expectations about not experiencing frustration and catastrophizing about minor frustrations. The document provides tips for countering each type of thought pattern, such as identifying needs versus wants, thinking in moderate terms, accepting others and yourself, and keeping frustration in perspective.

1. Hot Thoughts Irrational and unrealistic thoughts that have led to anger in the past. Demandingness Awfulizing Condemning Low Frustration Tolerance

2. Demandingness The notion that every thing should and must go a certain way. Look for words like should, must, need to, ought, etc. “I shouldn’t have to deal with these headaches” “Traffic shouldn’t be so heavy at this hour.” “That should not be that hard!”

3. Countering Demandingness Identifying what are needs and what are wants. Realizing your preferences counters demandingness Learn to accept others and situations as they are not as we’d like them to be.

4. Awfulizing Thinking in extreme negative terms. (Making mountains out of molehills.) Looks for words like terrible, horrible and awful. Words like always and never are a cue as well. “ I can’t believe their gossiping again!” “ It’s terrible that I got passed over for that promotion.” “ The copy machine is always broken, I’ll never get my work done.”

5. Countering Awfulizing Learn to think in moderate terms Avoid extreme thinking (either positive or negative).

6. Condemning The thought of putting yourself or others down. “He flew off the handle again, he’s hopeless.” “Every time I try, I fail.” “My coworker is stupid!”

7. Countering Condemning Rate the behavior not the person. Learn to accept others and yourself.

8. Low Frustration Tolerance Hot thoughts caused by catastrophizing about being frustrated and demanding that it not happen. “I cannot stand it when I have to wait in line.” “I’m going to snap if I don’t get a raise this year!” “If I have to go to one more training I’m going to scream!”

9. Increasing Frustration Tolerance Accepting the reality of frustration and keeping its “badness” in perspective. Expect to experience appropriate negative emotions like annoyance and disappointment. But avoid exaggerating these emotions (by telling yourself you can’t stand them).

10. DEMANDINGNESS Unreasonable expectations Look for the words: should ought, have to, need to and must Realize what is a preference and what is a demand Accept others CONDEMNING Avoid judging others Judge the action, NOT the person AWFULIZING Gross exaggerations about reality Look for words: awful, terrible, horrible Avoid extreme thinking Think in moderate terms LFT Unrealistic expectations Expect to experience appropriate negative emotions Compare your life to others who are truly suffering