The document discusses effective and ineffective ways of giving commands to children. It recommends that commands be brief, specific, positive, and followed by consequences or rewards. Effective commands avoid being vague, multiple, or questioning. Giving rationale or implying joint participation weakens commands. The broken record technique and planned shifts of attention to compliance can increase effectiveness.

2.  We state a request in the form of a question, giving
the child the option to comply or to refuse. A
command, on the other hand, is a statement that
gives the child no option to refuse. Requests are
often accompanied by social conventions such as,
“Would you please…?” or “I would like you to…”
We express commands in a more authoritative way,
and, when the child’s compliance is weak, our
command can escalate into a demand, which is
probably one of the weakest ways to win
compliance in children. Simply put, a request is
asking the child to do something; a command is
telling the child to do it.

3.  Walker and Walker (1991) distinguish between alpha commands
and beta commands. An alpha command is clear, direct, and
specific, without extra verbalizations. Beta commands are
vague, may involve multiple directives (simultaneously telling
the child multiple things to do), and can be accompanied by too
many verbalizations. Alpha commands allow a reasonable
period for a response (five to fifteen seconds); beta commands
do not give the child adequate time and opportunity to comply.
Because they are vague, beta commands do not present the
child a clear criterion for compliance, which may confuse the
child on what we are expecting her to do, and/or we cannot
accurately measure the child’s compliance (e.g., “Be nice to
Josh” or “Do something with this mess”). Alpha commands
increase the rate of compliance; beta commands inhibit
compliance.

4.  Multiple chain commands
 That is, telling the child to do too many things at once. Multiple
commands can confuse or overwhelm the child, or the child can
forget one or more steps. An example of a multiple command is,
“Pick up the art materials, get your math workbook, and
complete pages twelve and fourteen, skipping page thirteen.”
 Question commands
 Once we ask a question, our command changes to a request.
Asking a question implies that we are giving the child the option
to refuse, which is an ineffective way to express what we want
when refusing is not an option. For example, “Would you please
pick up the coloring materials?”

5.  Vague commands
 These commands are described poorly and the terms we use do
not provide steps or instructions, confusing the child. Vague
commands do not tell the child exactly what he is going to do,
and because of this, we cannot measure compliance accurately,
for example, “Knock it off!” or “Be more careful with your work!”
How do you define “careful”? What exactly the child needs to do
to show compliance with this particular command?
 Frequent commands
 These are the commands that we state repeatedly. When we
just keep repeating the same command to the same child, and
without enforcing consequences, the child ends believing that
we do not really mean what we are saying.

6.  Commands that include a rationale
 These are the commands that explain to children why they need
to do the behavior (e.g., “If you do not line up now, we will be
late for lunch”). The problem with this kind of command is that
the child may dispute your rationale. Because any extra
verbalization that follows the command tends to hide the
command, Forehand and McMahon (1981) recommend that, if
we include a rationale, it must precede the command rather than
follow it.
 “Let’s do it together commands”
 These are the commands that imply a joint participation
between the child and the adult when this is not necessary true,
for example, “Let us try to pick up these toys” (Forehand and
McMahon, 1981; Bloomquist, 1996).

7.  Do not give a command if a request will do it as well. Give a command
only if it is necessary to the situation. Try to give more requests and
suggestions than authoritative orders.
 Give a specific, one-step command stated in ten words or less, for
example, “Put all the coloring materials on the shelf.” Brief commands
are associated with higher compliance.
 State your command only once.
 Use a direct statement, e.g., “Steven, return to your seat now” rather
than a question, e.g., “Would you please return to your seat?”
Remember that a question implies choice.
 Make a clear, descriptive statement that tells the child exactly what to
do, examples, “Shut down the computer” and “Pick up all the books
from the floor and put them on this shelf.”

8.  Give only one command at a time. Make sure that
you clearly separate different commands, and that
each command is broken down into a specific
behavior. For example, “Open your math workbook
and complete all the problems on page 42…
(Pause) Use the protractors that I gave you
yesterday and graph paper.”
 Use positive wording, telling the child what to do
rather than what not to do. Avoid giving negative
directions, for example, say, “Keep your voices low”
rather than “Don’t shout” or “Walk in the hall” rather
than “Do not run in the hall.”

9.  Positive direction increases compliance. When we give positive
directions, we are guiding children toward a more acceptable
behavior, or an alternative behavior, for example, “If you need to
make noises, you can go to the hall,” “If you want to hit, try
punching this toy,” or “You can color on this paper, not on your
desk.”
 Use commands that describe appropriate behavior rather than
inappropriate behavior. Examples, “Please, hand me the eraser”
rather than “Stop playing with that eraser,” or “Hold your coat
higher so that it does not drag” rather than “Do not drag your
coat on the floor.”
 Use more “start” or initiating commands (what to start doing)
and fewer “stop” or terminating commands (what to stop doing).
It is easier to start doing something than to stop doing what we
are already doing.

10.  Give a clear time limit, for example, “You have exactly five
minutes to collect all the library books” or “The tables have to be
cleaned up before _____.” An effective command tells both what
to do and the time limit.
 Be calm and relaxed. When you give a command, use an
unemotional, matter-of-fact style.
 Make eye contact and, if you are a teacher, say the student’s
name.
 To emphasize your message, match your verbal (words) and
nonverbal (gestures and signals) communication.
 When addressing directly a harmful behavior, clearly identify the
hurtful behavior and be forceful in prohibiting the behavior, for
example, “You never poke someone in the eye!”
 Do not reissue the command or give different commands.

11.  Avoid arguing with the child and coercion.
 Avoid coaxing, for example, “I would like you to _____; please do it.”
 To avoid arguments and conflict, use the broken record technique.
With this technique, you repeat the same phrase up to three times, no
matter what the child says or does, and then, you move away from the
child. For example:
 Student: But I just want finish coloring this page.
 Teacher: You need to close your book.
 Student: But I just want five more minutes… please…please!
 Teacher: You need to close your book.
 With the broken record technique, we are simply restating our position.

12.  Do not label the child (e.g., “Stop acting like a baby!”) and do not
give threats (e.g., “You will see what happens if you keep that
up!”)
 Make the request or give your command in close proximity
rather than from the distance. For example, in the classroom,
state your request or command within a desk length rather than
across the room.
 Limit different requests to just two; make the same request only
twice, and do not make different requests at the same time.
 When making your request, use a soft, firm voice.
 When stating your command, turn down your voice volume. You
need to sound calm and in control of the message, projecting
your confidence that the child will comply. A loud voice with a
high fast pitch may sound angry, which in turn may trigger angry
feelings in the child.

13.  Do not expect instant compliance. Give an advanced warning
five-to-ten minutes ahead, for example, “In five minutes we shut
down the computers to go to lunch.”
 With a non-compliant student, use the command-compliance
training. Without telling the child, once or twice a day, call the
child next to you, and over the course of five minutes, give her
two-to-four simple commands that require no effort. For
example, you can say, “Hand me that eraser” or “Sharpen this
pencil.” Each time the child complies, praise her (e.g., “Good,
you responded promptly. I like that”). If the child does not
comply, say nothing and wait for one minute, then try a different
simple command. If the child still does not comply, desist, and
try again later that day or on a different day.

14.  Use a planned shift in attention, that is, give
no attention to noncompliance, and give
100% attention (praise and encouragement)
to compliant behavior.
 An effective command should be :
A. Brief
B. Followed by a warning (If… Then…)
C. Followed with either a consequence (e.g.
time out or suspending a privilege) or a
reward (e.g. praise and smile).

15.  Use only one warning and state the warning
only once, or use the three-warnings, then
penalty technique.
 Include in the warning a clear statement about
what the child must stop doing, and what will
happen if the disruptive behavior continues.
 Count aloud to five before administering the
consequence.
 If you need to deliver a penalty, after the
penalty, ask the child what he learned from the
mistake.

16.  Bloomquist, M. L. (1996). Skills training for
children with behavior disorders: A parent and
therapist guidebook. NY: Guilford Press.
 Forehand, R., & McMahon, R. (1981). Helping
the noncompliant child. NY: Guilford Press.
 Walker, H. M., & Walker, J. E. (1991). Coping
with noncompliance in the classroom: A Positive
approach for teachers. Austin, Texas: Pro-Ed.

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