Forgiveness is not accepting wrongdoing, forgetting trauma, or waiting for an apology. True forgiveness is letting go of hope for a different past and releasing the emotional burden of hurt, even if the perpetrator does not change or apologize. While trauma cannot be forgotten, we can choose to forgive others and not dwell on them constantly. Forgiveness lightens our hearts and allows us to create a new future rather than remain stuck in resentment from past wrongs.

1. Teachable Point of View – Forgiveness and
What it is NOT
C a r o l y n e G a t h u r u

2. Busting the Forgiveness Myth

3. Forgiveness
“Forgiving someone does not mean accepting
what they have done as alright. It doesn't mean
accepting their apology.
Forgiveness is simply giving up hope that the past
could have been any different and letting go”
Oprah Winfrey

4. What Forgiveness is NOT
• Is it very important to understand what
forgiveness is and to make forgiveness an
integral part of your life
• However it is equally if not more important to
understand what forgiveness is NOT….

5. What is forgiveness NOT?

6. Forgiveness is NOT Denying a Wrongdoing
" I forgot all about it. I just moved on. I pretend like
it never happened. I didn’t let it affect me."
That is NOT true.
• Forgiveness is not denying that something hurtful
has happened or neglecting justice
• Forgiveness is just making a conscious choice to
let go
• Forgive that person you are thinking about right
now. Let go…… Let go…..

7. Forgiveness is NOT Waiting for an Apology
"I will forgive him as soon as he says he is sorry .”
This may NOT happen
• Some people will never apologize and continue in
their destructive ways
• Some people will never confess wrongdoing and
may even die before they apologise.
• Forgive them for they know not what they are
doing and liberate yourself…
• Forgive that person you are thinking of that has
hurt you even if they haven’t said they are sorry…

8. Forgiveness is NOT Forgetting
Forgive and forget is a big myth!
No…. You can NOT forgive and forget
• Trauma happened- rape/molestation/abandonment
violence/abuse/infidelity/betrayal/deceit
"Forget it"? Can you really?
However……
• We can choose to forgive the perpetrator
• We can choose to not think about them all the time
• We can choose to acknowledge even if it still hurts
• Forgive and let go and the healing will come, the
burden will be lighter…

9. Forgive! Forgive! Forgive!
• Forgiveness is about lessening our own
emotional burdens and healing the pain in our
hearts
• It takes a generous spirit to forgive and let go

10. Forgive Yourself

11. Forgive – Create a New Future
“When you forgive, you in no way change the
past - but you change the future, because a
grudge is the heaviest thing you can carry”
Bernard Meltzer

12. R efer enc es:
w w w.mar k merr ill.c om
www.mars hill.org
P.O. BOX 50583-00200, Nairobi (Kenya)
Web www.eenovators.com
Repren Complex Mombasa Rd Suite 103/104