Orion Cardenas analyzes their lab report on transferring glyphosate resistance in a memorandum to Professor Lyon. Cardenas reviews the lab report based on three prose styles: being concise by removing unnecessary repetition and modifiers, being precise by using appropriate terminology for the intended audience, and being direct by using strong verbs/nouns and an active voice. Cardenas finds some areas for improvement in concision but overall effective use of precision and directness. The analysis will help refine Cardenas' technical writing skills.

1. Memorandum
To: Professor Lyon
From: Orion Cardenas
Date: January 14, 2018
Subject: Lab Report Analysis
In this memorandum, I analyze my lab report titled “Transferring Glyphosate Resistant
Plasmid DNA to Non-Resistant Bacteria”, which was written for my Biology 115L
course. I will review this lab write up based on three different prose styles to determine if
my writing was clear, appropriate and effective.
Being Concise
Writing in a concise manner means using words that are necessary to help the reader
best understand the motive of your paper. This was one of the prose styles my lab write
up was not consistent with:
Unnecessary Repetition: I noticed several instances of repetition in my lab write
up that were unnecessary to the reader’s understanding. These instances
occurred in different locations of the writing:
Our research project consists of evolving a glyphosate resistant gene in
the bacteria, in which we will then transfer the DNA of the said bacteria to
non- resistant bacteria, in hopes of potentially increasing their resistance.
Our overall goal will be to see if we can create a bacteria that is highly
resistant to glyphosate.
In this case, the first sentence is describing the basis and outcome of my project
while the second sentence merely reiterates the idea stated in the first sentence.
The second sentence is unnecessary and should be removed.
Dead Phrases: This lab write up consisted of an introduction, methods section,
data section and conclusion. I feel I did a proficient job of staying relevant to my
topic and did not catch any dead phrases.
Unnecessary Modifiers: I was able to locate several modifiers in my work that
could be removed. They held no purpose and merely served as “lard” :

2. Orion Cardenas-Memorandum 2
As it can be seen, there is absolutely no visible growth.
If a glyphosate resistant bacteria was introduced into a soil ecosystem,
perhaps the health of the entire ecosystem would actually increase,
including the crops health.
In the first sentence, I stated there was “absolutely no visible growth” when
instead saying “no visible growth” would have sufficed.
In the second sentence, it would have been appropriate to state that the health of
the ecosystem would increase instead of saying actually increase.
Level of Specifics and Detail: My use of specifics and detail is necessary
considering the level of work my paper required and the purpose of the project
The focus of the experiment is increasing glyphosate resistance in
bacteria that are not initially resistant, and then transferring the said
plasmids from the bacteria to E. coli
This sentence was mentioned earlier in the memorandum, but also fits this
subtopic. There are a lot of specifics in this sentence as well as detail but the
audience in which it is intended for should be able to understand.
Being Precise
Being precise means using terminology that matches the knowledge of your intended
audience. In order to describe the structure and purpose of my project, I was required to
utilize words and ideas specific to an audience of expertise in this area.
Jargon: My paper contained jargon specific to the biological sciences. I feel I
used the necessary amount of jargon to explain my project. A reader who may
not be familiar or have any experience in biology could get lost when reading my
lab report.
● Plasmid containing the resistant encoded genes
● Reasoner’s 2A agar
● Chemically competent Escherichia coli
Being Direct

3. Orion Cardenas-Memorandum 3
Being direct means writing in a style that is straightforward and allows the reader to
understand your ideas effectively.
Strong Nouns and Verbs: I excelled in my use of strong nouns and verbs
throughout my lab report. Utilizing these in my work allowed the reader to better
visualize my ideas and procedures.
Condensation permitted the bacteria to gain motility and disperse across
the Petri dish.
After mini preparation is completed and you have obtained a plasmid
DNA pellet, electroporation can be utilized to transfer the plasmid DNA
of the resistant bacteria into a strain of E. coli.
In the first sentence, I was able to use mores specific verbs that gave my writing
a sense of sophistication and excellence.
In the second sentence, I used strong nouns that led to more strong verbs. The
use of strong nouns and strong verbs in this sentence allows the reader to better
envisage how I performed these tasks and reenact the tasks themselves.
Active and Passive Voice: This subtopic was used several times in my work. I
believe I used an appropriate amount of active and passive voice considering the
design of my experiment and report.
As a result of the mini preparation procedure, the plasmid DNA was
isolated from bacteria, leaving a small DNA pellet.
The bacteria that is growing on the 0.9% glyphosate gradient plate is
showing progress and visible growth.
In the first sentence, it was important to note the purpose of the procedure and
isolation of plasmid DNA. Even though I performed this task, I removed myself
from the description to emphasize the importance of the procedure.
The second sentence is just one example of the active voice I used in my report.
Topic Position: My use of strong topic sentences in my report makes the
paragraphs easier to understand and helps the reader identify what my
discussion will be focused on.

4. Orion Cardenas-Memorandum 4
There has been no possibility of making any vital conclusions, however,
there has been many observations about the behaviors of bacteria and the
consequences of contamination.
This topic sentence was used to let the reader know I did not make any
conclusions but did find other observations, which I do indicate. After reading
this, it is obvious I will be discussing the observations on the behaviors of
bacteria and consequences of contamination.
Stress Position: Being able to emphasize the important material at the end of
my sentences made my ideas more apparent to the reader. I did not have many
sentences containing unnecessary endings, but my sentences are
straightforward.
The plasmid DNA and E. coli is prepared for electroporation by being
transferred to a broth medium.
Conclusion:
After have written this memorandum, I have found the importance of revision and use of
the three prose styles. Being concise, precise and direct only betters my work and
allows the reader to grasp my purpose. I will continue to revise and analyze my papers
based on this newfound knowledge.