The document discusses empowering children by giving them independence and internal locus of control over their thoughts, feelings, and actions. It provides examples of how parents often take control away from children by telling them what to think, feel, and do without consideration for the child's own perspective. It then presents 10 ways to empower children, such as giving them time and space for independent thinking, opportunities to solve their own problems, and acceptance for who they are. The overall message is that children should be guided to think independently rather than always seeking approval and judgment from parents.

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Resourceful Children
Empowered Children

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❖ “Finish the whole bowl” (whether you are hungry or not).
❖ “Go to sleep” (whether you are sleepy or not).
❖ “Say hello to Uncle” (whether you like uncle or not).
❖ “Stop playing at once” (whether you want to play or not).
❖ “Share you toys with your new friends” (whether you want
to or not).
❖ “Complete the homework” (whether it makes sense or not)
❖ “Stop crying at once” (whether you feel terrible or not)
Who is in control?

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You are NOT in
control of yourself.
I am.

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❖ “I will explain this to you” (you cannot figure it out
yourself)
❖ “Use this to make you feel better” (you need not think or
your ideas are not worth it).
❖ “Give this to me – you are too small to do this” (the result
is more important than your attempts)
❖ “Now stop crying. I will help you find your pencil box”
(you are not capable of managng your emotions or your
things)
❖ “No, no that’s not right. Here I will tell you why that
happens” (I know the correct answer)
Who decides; Who thinks?

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What YOU feel and think is not as important as
what I think.
What I think is something that you need to follow;
What I think is correct.

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❖ “Show me your work” (I need to approve it).
❖ “This is nice” (I decide what is nice).
❖ “Show me again” (Only when I am satisfied it is done).
❖ “This is important for you” (I decide the value of something).
❖ “Eating with hands is not good manners” (I know what is good
and what is bad).
❖ “I am proud of you” (It is important that I be proud of you)
❖ “You are so impatient” (I declare the kind of person you are)
Who is the Judge?

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You need to be appraised, assessed, judged,
and even praised by me.
Look for my approval -
that is the path to learning and happiness

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• Acceptance
• Self Motivation
• Self Assessment
• I Learn
• I Understand
• I Explore
• Sufficiency
• Lead
1. Comparison
2. Encouragement
3. Praise
4. We know
5. Right / Wrong
6. We Decide
7. Deficiency
8. Control / Manage
Locus of Control
Inside Outside

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10 ways to
Empower

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1 Give me time to think

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2 Give me space to bring my own experiences.

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3 Give me opportunities to think.

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4 Give me my thinking.

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5 Help me
learn how to
analyse.

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6 Encourage me to solve my own problems.

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7 If you want to guide - guide me to be aware.

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8 Help me question my beliefs.

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9 Give value to my decisions, to my
evaluations, my judgments.

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10 give me acceptance - of being as I am.

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Dear parent – be my Mirror... please
Listen
Aware
Reflect
~
Accept