1. Holistic Life Practice Emotional Mastery Valérie Saintot  April 2007 EMOTIONAL SITUATION serving as a case study: participants in a class I oragnised did not delivered their input contrary to our agreement. I took this as an opportunity to apply the format they were supposed to practice themselves. www.holisticleadership.eu / www.mindfulnessatwork.org

2. Wise mind process overview Confused mind ‘ I cannot choose how I feel. I can and will choose what I do.’ To handle emotional turmoil we have to differentiate between all our perceptions. The first step is to hold the attention just below the breath at the very place where we can experience our wise mind. The wise mind is the mind that can help you see yourself and watch what’s really going on, inspired by ACT on life not on anger from Eiffert, McKay, Forsyth . Observing mind Thoughts I can’t stand their super-size egos. They only care about themselves Feelings Pissed off, resentful Actions Won’t return calls; tell them angrily to do it themselves. Confused mind I can’t stand their super size egos. They only care about themselves. I am pissed off, & resentful. Won’t return calls; I’ll tell them angrily to do it themselves.

3. Observing mind Thoughts We are approaching the deadline and I have not received any input. The deadline was last Friday and not one participants has sent his input. They are not taking it serious. I spend quite some time preparing and they just do not appreciate it. … Not only have they not prepared anything but on top they did not even apologise, sending a quick e-mail. Feelings Anger & disappointment Actions Maybe I should just not prepare anything for next time and spend the 90min silent. Wise mind Confused mind Wise mind process applied (April 2007) We are approaching the deadline and I have not received any input. The deadline was last Friday and not one participants has sent his input. They are not taking it serious. I spend quite some time preparing and they just do not appreciate it. I feel somewhat angry and disappointed. Maybe I should just not prepare anything for next time and spend the 90min silent. Not only have they not prepared anything but on top they did not even apologise, sending a quick e-mail.

4. EMOTIONAL MASTERY PROCESS OVERVIEW Emotional Mastery Process inspired by Conscious Business from Fred Kofman Five basic competencies for working with our own emotions that mirror the five skills for working with other people emotions For own emotions For others emotions Self-awareness Recognition Self-acceptance Acknowledgment Self-regulation Influence Self-inquiry Inquiry Self-expression Listening Many people think that emotions stand in opposition to rational thought but scientific evidence suggests the opposite. While your emotions can overwhelm your rationality, you cannot be rational without being emotional. Emotions are the factors that enable you to decide and choose.

5. I do not feel satisfied with the experience I am having I am upset. I can see that I am up set How come do I feel up set ? I would like to look into this I am not going to tell them anything. I am going to tell them I am pissed off. I do not know how I am going to handle the situation. After all, it is OK if I make use of this opportunity for myself and them to come further Step 1 SELF-AWARENESS PROCESS VS APPLICATION

6. I observe that they have not delivered as agreed As the mindfulness teacher, it is OK also to be upset My feeling upset came up and I cannot control its coming up Which thought triggered it ? I cannot assume they are lacking respect for my work. Maybe they were under time pressure or sthg else It is fine, you are human and also need reassurance. It will be OK Step 2 SELF-ACCEPTANCE PROCESS VS APPLICATION

7. I will not react immediately Maybe I should simply listen for a few days what it want to teach me I acknowledge my being upset. I also understand why I feel up set. I will not just off load all my thoughts. I will sort out those which only belong to me first Step 3 SELF-REGULATION PROCESS VS APPLICATION

8. It is not fair that I work and they don’t They should not have avoided to (i) answer and (ii) apologise for not delivering I would like them to change the situation I will ask them if they could deliver one example where they will have applied the process of emotional mastery before next HLP meeting Step 4 SELF-INQUIRY PROCESS VS APPLICATION

9. I am angry that we could not exchange our experience around emotions It could be that it was all too complicated They did not communicate around the fact they would not deliver as agreed I will let them know the sequence and ask if we can change the situation I would need to hear how they feel or what they think about the situation I am ready to forgive Step 3 SELF-EXPRESSION PROCESS VS APPLICATION