This document outlines the agenda and content for a self-coaching class on change. The class covers concepts like mental models of change, growth versus fixed mindsets, using goals effectively, and cultivating grit. Partners engage in coaching conversations to discuss applying these ideas to themselves and setting conditions to support a growth mindset. Reflection on mindset, goals, and grit help participants consider how to use self-coaching strategies for ongoing development. The next class will focus on managing attention and how emotions influence attention.

1. The art of
Photo by ezioman [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 2: CHANGE
Public Course
Spring 2020

2. Best practices

3. Best practices
Use “Side-by-Side Mode” to optimize layout
Submit questions during designated times
Feedback: selfcoachingcourse@gmail.com
I’ll read everything

4. Partner
conversations

5. Partner
Will need to interact real-time during class
(In-person, phone, a separate video call)
Experiment with the coaching process
Watch the timer to stay on track
conversations

6. Change & mindset 15 mins
A conversation 25 mins
Goals & grit 15 mins
Another conversation 20 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

7. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
A reminder…

8. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
Working
agreements

9. I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
Working
agreements

10. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

11. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

12. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements

13. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

14. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

15. Warm-up

16. Warm-up
Class prep: Sharpie or magic marker and a pad
Draw a pre-COVID-19 memory
You have 45 seconds

17. Warm-up
Discuss with your partner
Why is this memory meaningful?
4 minutes total, 2 minutes per person
Minutes remaining:
4 3 2 1

18. Warm-up
Discuss with your partner
Why is this memory meaningful?
4 minutes total, 2 minutes per person
Minutes remaining:
3 2 1

19. Warm-up
Discuss with your partner
Why is this memory meaningful?
4 minutes total, 2 minutes per person
Minutes remaining:
2 1

20. Warm-up
Discuss with your partner
Why is this memory meaningful?
4 minutes total, 2 minutes per person
Minutes remaining:
1

21. Why do that?

22. Mental models
Photo by Carmelo Speltino [link]
Our perceptions shape reality
How we define experiences
How we see ourselves

23. Kurt Lewin & Edgar Schein
Why is change so hard?
Why do we resist it?
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

24. Behavior is stable
We’re frozen in patterns
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

25. Driving forces favor change
Restraining forces resist it
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

26. Patterns keep these forces balanced
Change requires unfreezing
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

27. Driving force = Survival anxiety
I must change in order to
to achieve my goals
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

28. Restraining force = Learning anxiety
Change means a new identity
or loss of self-esteem
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

29. Increase survival anxiety to change?
Or decrease learning anxiety?
Both are necessary
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

30. Threat from survival anxiety must
be balanced by sufficient safety
to decrease learning anxiety
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

31. Change =
Psychological safety
Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

32. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

33. Photo by Donnie Ray James [link]
Awkward?

34. Photo by Mike Disharoon [link]
Carol Dweck, Stanford
A mental model about ourselves
How do we perceive our abilities?
How do we perceive our mistakes?
Mindset

35. Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed Growth
Abilities Inherent Plastic
Mistakes Flaws Opportunities
Response Negative Neutral
characteristics

36. Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed Growth
Agency Diminished Heightened
Seeking Approval Challenges
Risk Averse Tolerant
consequences

37. Change, mindset
& self-coaching
Signs of a fixed or growth mindset?
Recognize it as a mental model
One to challenge or affirm

38. Change, mindset
A fixed mindset can be comforting
Letting go can be threatening
Change requires safety
& self-coaching

39. Change, mindset
Mistakes & setbacks = Learning opportunities
New attitude or behavior ≠ New identity
Self-definition = Work-in-progress
& self-coaching

40. A reminder...
Photo by zzpza [link]

41. Coaching tools
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42. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

43. Coaching tools
Ask
Humble: Open-ended questions
Diagnostic: Focus their attention
Confrontational: Challenge their narrative

44. Coaching tools
Ask
Humble: Open-ended questions
Diagnostic: Focus their attention
Confrontational: Challenge their narrative

45. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen
Hearing ≠ Listening
Make them feel heard

46. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Not “Look on the bright side”
Or “My problem’s worse!”
Or “Here’s some advice”

47. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Avoid judgments
Sense & validate emotions
Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)

48. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
How might you be more candid?

49. A conversation
Photo by Heinrich-Böll-Stiftung [link]

50. A conversation
Prep work, Part 1…
How does this model of change apply to me?
What conditions foster a growth mindset for me?

51. Coach your partner, 8 minutes per person
How does this model of change apply to me?
What conditions foster a growth mindset for me?
Minutes remaining:
A conversation
16 12 8 4 2

52. Coach your partner, 8 minutes per person
How does this model of change apply to me?
What conditions foster a growth mindset for me?
Minutes remaining:
A conversation
12 8 4 2

53. Coach your partner, 8 minutes per person
How does this model of change apply to me?
What conditions foster a growth mindset for me?
Minutes remaining:
A conversation
8 4 2

54. Coach your partner, 8 minutes per person
How does this model of change apply to me?
What conditions foster a growth mindset for me?
Minutes remaining:
A conversation
4 2

55. Coach your partner, 8 minutes per person
How does this model of change apply to me?
What conditions foster a growth mindset for me?
Minutes remaining:
A conversation
2

56. Remember to
Photo by Michael Bentley [link]
thank your partner

57. A (brief) debrief
What are you learning about these concepts?
What questions remain?

58. Photo by John Trainor [link]
Goals

59. Goals support performance when…
We feel unconflicted
We feel committed
We feel capable
Goals

60. Goals
When do goals get in the way?
Focus on failure  feeling of threat
Learning matters more than execution
Diminished enjoyment & intrinsic motivation

61. Goals &
self-coaching
Goals as “prescription medicine”
Generate initial momentum
Get curious about setbacks

62. Photo by Maria Ly [link]
Grit

63. Grit
Angela Duckworth, Univ. of Pennsylvania
Who succeeds and why?

64. Grit
Perseverance matters
Long-term stamina > Short-term intensity

65. Grit
Positive correlation with achievement
Negative correlation with talent
More talent = Less persistence?

66. Grit
Deliberate practice  Achievement
Grittier people practice more
Achievers = Talent + grit?

67. Grit &
Tentative findings
Growth mindset & optimism are key
Upcoming classes: Emotion & Resilience
self-coaching

68. Grit &
Can grit be cultivated?
Interest, purpose & hope
self-coaching

69. Grit &
One clear conclusion…
Willpower alone is insufficient
We need help (structures, habits, routines)
self-coaching

70. Another
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
conversation

71. Another
Prep work, Part 2…
How might I use goals more effectively?
How does my mindset affect my grittiness?
conversation

72. 8 minutes per person
How might I use goals more effectively?
How does my mindset affect my grittiness?
Minutes remaining:
Another
16 12 8 4 2
conversation

73. 8 minutes per person
How might I use goals more effectively?
How does my mindset affect my grittiness?
Minutes remaining:
Another
12 8 4 2
conversation

74. 8 minutes per person
How might I use goals more effectively?
How does my mindset affect my grittiness?
Minutes remaining:
Another
8 4 2
conversation

75. 8 minutes per person
How might I use goals more effectively?
How does my mindset affect my grittiness?
Minutes remaining:
Another
4 2
conversation

76. 8 minutes per person
How might I use goals more effectively?
How does my mindset affect my grittiness?
Minutes remaining:
Another
2
conversation

77. Remember to
thank your partner
Photo by Thomson20192 [link]

78. A (brief) debrief
What are you learning about these concepts?
What questions remain?

79. To sum up
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
Safety  Change  Growth mindset
A (potential) virtuous cycle
Grit may be a by-product

80. Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Self-coaching

81. Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Self-coaching
Our mental models of ourselves matter
An ongoing dialogue is essential
Coaching, journaling, reflection

82. For next time…
Photo by Jean-Etienne Minh-Duy Poirrier [link]

83. Photo by Philip Bird [link]
Attention

84. Attention
Ways of thinking (System 1 & System 2)
Mental control & attention management
Classes 3 & 4: “Emotions are attention magnets”

85. Have your phones
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

86. Other items…
Video & slides will be posted on my site