Vincent, Toby, Liam, and Conner have an assignment to present a 2-minute film pitch. Their proposed opening sequence involves a protagonist browsing Facebook when an unknown person messages them about knowing private details. This angers the protagonist, who finds their dead friend's body in the garden after storming outside. As they panic and call for help, the protagonist receives a threatening photo, leading them to discover something ominous in their closet. The group seeks feedback on building more suspense before revealing the body and improving other elements like setting and characters.
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Draft 2 pitch F
1. Names in group: Vincent, Toby, Liam, Conner
Assign 29: The Pitch You will present this Mon Feb 8
Synopsis (What exactly will happen in 2 (2:30-3 is absolute max) minutes? Label this on the timeline below.) (*remember don’t try to accomplish too much!)
The conventions we learned from other films in our subgenre and will apply in our opening sequence are:
Intense reveal of the body
Bodyis coveredinlotsof bloodandcuts
Killer remains unknown
In the list below, explain what will happen in the course of 2 minutes:
1. First, protagonistisintheirroomon a laptopbrowsingFacebook Important notes/details:
There are establishing
shots during this
scene
2. An Unknownpersonmessageshim,thisuserseemstoknowlotaboutthe protagonist. Reaction shot
3. The protagonistinintriguedbythisandyeta little concerned,theystill engagewiththe conversationwiththisunknownpersontofind
out whotheyare.
Foley of the chat
4. The unknownuserstartsto disrespectthe protagonist’snowdeadfriend(sayingtheydeservedtodie… etc.) Anger to be shown by
the protagonist
5. The protagonistthengetsangry andstorms off outside intothe garden.
6. At firsttheyare justwalkinground the gardenuntil…. Theysee apair of shoes. Change of music score
here
7. The protagonistthen proceedstoinvestigate,onlytofindthatitishisdeadfriendinhisgarden.
8. So theyrun inpanicback to the room to call emergencyservicesonthe phone.
9. Justduringthiseventof panic,the protagonistthenreceivesatextmessage fromanunknownphone number,it’saphotoof the
protagonistfroma closetinthe room.
10. The protagonistrecognisesthe positionof whichthe photowastaken,sotheyprocced withcautiontowardthe closet.Atthat point,
the scene will fade toblack.
Suspense building
Music score
2. Names in group: Vincent, Toby, Liam, Conner
The narrative enigmas in our opening sequence will be:
Who is the killer?
How did the Protagonist’s friend die?
What happens to the protagonist at the end?
Settings (Whatlocationswouldyoufilminandhowisthissuitable tothe ideaandsubgenre?)
Location: A family home
This is because it’s in a place where a person is said to be most secure, making it a dangerous place will create tension and overall a intriguing OTS.
Characters and actors (whatcharacterswill be involvedinthe film andwhowill playthem?) *tip:don’t have too manycharacters – it will get complicated
Character 1 description: Protagonist played by: Liam
Character 2 description: Dead body (Protagonist’s Friend) played by: Conner
Props and Costumes (What costume, props& make-updoyouneedtomake it believable?) Youcan draw themif youwant.
Protagonist: School uniform/ Smart – casual
Dead body: Causal + lots of blood and cuts (make-up)
Shot types (Whatare some keyshottypesyouwant to include? Give detailsif youcan,youcan draw themoutif that helps.
POV (Charactersperspective)
Overthe shoulder(Tosee the movementof the characteras well asthe setting)
Eye match (To see where/whatacharacter islookingat) especiallywhennoticingthe shoes
Long shots(To see the whole bodyof acharacter)
Pan shots(Change of positon)
Highangle shot
Low angle shot
Close-upshot
Extreme close-up(Tosee the fine detail of cutsandblood)
Sounds (What typesof non-diegeticanddiegeticsoundswouldyouwanttohave?)
Incidental musicscore
Foleyfortextchat
Incidental Foley(Discoveryof body)
What feedback did you get from an audience?
Our audience really liked the narrative of a young person finding their friend dead in their garden as it creates many enigmatic questions
3. Names in group: Vincent, Toby, Liam, Conner
They did not like how the body was revealed, they wanted a larger build-up of suspense.
To improve our audience recommended that we make sure that there is a large build-up of suspense before the body is discovered.
Our improved idea might involve…
Synopsis: Rather than the protagonist running back inside, they are confronted outside while tending to their dead friend.
Setting: In an abandoned building rather than a house.
Characters and actors: Perhaps there are more friends that are either dead or alive with the protagonist.
Props & Costumes: A knife is left near the dead body, the dead body’s make up should suggest that the body has been dead for a long period of
time.
