In response to growing concern about accountability in our communities, Cherry Hill Seminary has released a free media presentation called Don't Look Away: Recognizing & Responding to Abuse for Non-Professionals. Don't Look Away was created to help individuals and small groups better understand the nature of sexual abuse and appropriate ways to respond, as well as what to do if you have been abused, yourself. "So many of us, unless we are a professional trained in such matters, don't really know what to do or not do when we are confronted with possible abuse," said Executive Director Holli Emore. "For far too long, we have either not recognized the signs of abuse among us, or we have looked away, assuming, hoping, that someone else will take care of the problem. But those problems don't go away by themselves." Don't Look Away is intended for a general, public audience; that is, it is not a scholarly piece. It is simple, direct and to the point. The additional resource links enable the viewer to pursue further information, if they wish. Cherry Hill Seminary also offers extensive coursework in ethics, pastoral counseling, and related issues.

1. A community service presentation of
Cherry Hill Seminary
Education for leadership, ministry &
personal growth in Pagan and other
Nature-based spiritualities

2. What happens when a car alarm goes off on a busy
street?
Everyone ignores it because we all assume that
someone else is taking care of it --- Right?

3. But what if it’s a real emergency?
Should we just look away?
What if we are not sure what to do?

4. We may think that abuse is something
that happens to others, people we don’t
know.
But the truth is that abuse is all around
us, often in our own families or groups of
friends.

5. In fact, studies show that abuse – including
neglect, domestic violence, and sexual abuse-
happens in all social classes, all ethnic and racial
groups, all levels of education, all ages and
regardless of gender.

6. We can’t just look away.
We can’t assume someone else is taking care of it.
But how do we know whether our friend just fell
down, or her partner gave her those bruises?
How can we tell a child is being molested – maybe he
is just shy?

7. Watching this
presentation won’t
make you an expert,
but it can help you
better understand
the problem.
We have also
included some
references and links
where you can find
more information or
get help.

8. A skeleton in far too many
family closets, the problem of
sexual abuse is receiving a great
deal of media attention lately.
Whether it’s happening more
frequently or simply becoming
easier to identify,
the long-term damage is
immeasurable,
producing all manner of
psychological, physical, and
professional challenges in
adulthood.

9. Sexual abuse is one of the more difficult forms
of abuse to detect
—often because the victim is too young or too
intimidated to report it.
Even an older victim may
feel intimidated enough to
stay silent.

10. Fear -- the threat of exposure --
If you tell, I’ll say you made me do it--
or physical harm--
I’ll kill you if you tell!
-- can prevent a victim from reaching out for help.

11. Sexual abuse happens whenever one person
dominates and exploits another using sex.
Sometimes a victim feels guilty about experiencing
physical pleasure while being abused. This does not
mean it is not abuse.

12. Never Assume--
While more victims tend
to be girls, boys are
equally at risk.
Sexual abuse occurs in all
social classes, all religious
groups, income strata,
across cultures and at
many ages.

13. Who Are The Sexual Predators?
In the news we hear about sexual abuse by
childcare providers, baby sitters, and others
who have only occasional contact with the
child.
But the abuser is rarely a stranger.
Often a trusted member of the victim’s
immediate family—a brother or sister,
uncle or aunt, grandparent or step-parent,
even a biological parent—may be
responsible.

14. Sexual abuse in childhood may damage
the ability to have healthy
relationships.
Sadly, many victims of child sexual
abuse become abusers themselves.
Sexual abuse robs children of their
childhood.

15. Adult survivors often suffer--
Depression
Body issues
Eating disorders
Medical problems
Stress & anxiety
Mental health problems
Relationship issues
Sexual difficulties

16. Protecting Your Children from Sexual Abuse --
The typical advice, “Don't talk to strangers" doesn't
apply in this case. Most sexual perpetrators are known
to their victims.
Do not instruct children to give relatives hugs and kisses.
Let them express affection on their own terms.
Teach your children basic sexual education. Teach them
that no one should touch the "private" parts of their
body.

17. Encourage your children to ask questions and talk about
their experiences.
Explain the importance of reporting abuse to you or
another trusted adult.
Let your child know that he or she does not have to keep
a secret for someone.
Teach your children that sexual advances from adults are
wrong and against the law. Give them the confidence to
assert themselves against any adult who attempts to
abuse them.
Make an effort to know children's friends and their
families.

18. Instruct your child to never get into a car with anyone
without your permission.
Teach your children that their bodies are their own, that it
is okay to say they do not want a hug or that certain kinds
of contact make them uncomfortable.
Remember that physical force is often not necessary to
engage a child in sexual activity. Children are trusting and
dependent and will often do what is asked of them to gain
approval and love.

19. If You Suspect Sexual Abuse --
Help a child feel safe talking to you or another trusted
adult.
Do NOT ask the child in front of the adult who might
be the abuser.
Do not suggest events that may not have happened.
Do not display emotions that would influence the
child's telling of the information.
Reassure the child that he or she did nothing wrong.
If you believe there are credible grounds to suspect
child abuse, contact police or social services
immediately.

20. Mandatory Reporting --
Many states have laws requiring that
any person who knows or suspects that
a child has been sexually-abused must
report that abuse to either local law
enforcement officials or child protection
officials.
In all 50 states, medical personnel,
mental health professionals, teachers,
law enforcement personnel and
ministers (this includes Pagans) are
required by law to report suspected
abuse.

21. If you have been sexually-assaulted --
Try to get to a place where you feel safe.
Reach out for support.
Call someone you trust, such as a friend or a family member. You are
not alone; there are people who can give you the support you need.
Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at (800) 656-HOPE—your call
is free and is anonymous and confidential.
Seek medical attention as soon as possible. Medical care is important
to address any injuries you may have and to protect against sexually
transmitted diseases and pregnancy.
Most important, know that the assault is not your fault.
(U.S. Department of Justice)

22. If you become aware of abuse at a
festival or other event call the local child
abuse hotline or 911.

23. If you are an event
organizer, consider
looking around your
local community for a
Pagan mental health-
related professional
who will agree to be
the designated on-site
emergency contact.

24. Car alarms don’t just go off; there is always a reason.
Many times it is simply a misunderstanding.
But ignoring the alarm may allow needless harm.

25. If we look away from abuse
we become part of the problem,
allowing it to continue.
But we can be part of
making it stop.

26. It’s our community –
Let’s all do our part to make sure it is a safe one.
Don’t look away from abuse.

27. Resources
“Special Resources” quick reference page on the
Cherry Hill Seminary web site,
under For Students/Materials
www.cherryhillseminary.org

28. National Child Traumatic Stress Network
http://www.nctsn.org/content/resources

29. National Center for Missing and Exploited
Children
Charles B. Wang International Children's Building
699 Prince Street Alexandria, VA 22314-3175
24-hour hotline: 1-800-THE-LOST
www.missingkids.com

30. Child Help USA
15757 North 78th Street
Scottsdale, AZ 85260
(800) 4-A-CHILD
www.childhelpusa.org

31. Prevent Child Abuse America
332 S. Michigan Ave
Suite 1600
Chicago, IL 60604-4357
(800) CHILDREN
www.preventchildabuse.org

32. Child sexual abuse: What parents should know
American Psychological Association
http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/child-
sexual-abuse.aspx

33. The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Or go here to chat online:
http://www.thehotline.org/help/

34. Child Welfare Information Gateway
(formerly National Clearinghouse on
Child Abuse and Neglect Information)
Children's Bureau/ACYF
1250 Maryland Avenue, SW
Eighth Floor
Washington, DC 20024
(800) 394-3366
www.childwelfare.gov

35. Recognizing Sexual Abuse
U.S. Department of Justice
www.nsopr.gov

36. This presentation is a community service of Cherry Hill Seminary.
Please share freely but credit the creator and do not modify.
Copyright 2014 by Cherry Hill Seminary.
www.cherryhillseminary.org
All rights reserved.