For COURTSHIP
By
Leah Solmerin Corpuz, Ph.D.
09173127132
ccept yourself
ccept yourself
So…
You are ready to get into
a relationship?
But, First…
Know that your most important relationship
is that with yourself.
Having wrong attitudes about
ourselves affect every other
relationship in our life.
- Bill Gothard
ccept yourself
Some evidence of self-rejection
• Excessive shyness
• Over-attention on clothes
• Neglect of personal care
• Bullying
• Self-criticism
• Attempting to imitate someone
admired
• Awkward attempts to hide
unchangeable defects
• Extravagance (or wanting to have
what others have)
• Flirting with the opposite sex
ccept yourself
ccept yourself
ow to your authority
ow to your authority
Activity: “People inmy Life”
Objective: To make thestudentappreciate the people that
play vital role in his/herlife.
Rationale: The studenthas to understandthatbefore getting
into a new relationship, he/she needs to value the people
thatare already inhis/her life.
Procedure:
1. Student folds a whole sheet of paper into ten boxes, and writes in
each box the name of the top-ten persons in his/her life.
Jose-Father Maria-mother Anna-Sister Liza-Best
friend
Etc.
etc etc etc etc etc
ow to your authority
Abnormal Social Development in Teen-
agers
Communication
breakdown
StubbornnessOpen rebellionWrong friends
Ungratefulness
search for
excitement
or suicidal
depression
Condemnation
of others
Defense of
sensuality
ow to your authority
The way a girl responded to the
authority of her father tends to be the way
she will respond to the authority of her husband.
The way a boy treated his mother
tends to be the way he will treat his wife.
ow to your authority
ccept yourself
ow to your authority
ombat boredom
ombat boredom
Boredom curiosity experimentatio
n
Sensual
focus
violation of
consciencerationalization
Moral
Impurity
Redefining
morality
Lasciviousness
defrauding your date
unwanted pregnancy
no preparation in starting a family
marital conflicts
separation
=
rebellion
ombat boredom
Journey to a Healthy/Lasting
Relationship
Acquaintances
hip
Casual
Friendship
Close
Friendship
DatingCourtship
Intimate
Friendship
Marriage
ombat boredom
Based on occasional contacts
Step 1: Acquaintanceship
Can ask general questions:
public information
Conversation, makes the
rhythm
Conversation now begins
(my number – other’s number)
Activity/Icebreaker:
CONVERSATION
A healthy relationship starts
from a friendly conversation…
That comes as a result of
attentive listening through
turn-taking skills.
Value to teach:
Based on common interest,
activities, and concerns
Can ask specific questions:
opinions, ideas, wishes, and goals.
Step 2:
Casual Friendship
Teacher distributes bingo sheets.
Activity/Icebreaker:
Human Bingo
Do you enjoy
reading novels?
_______________
Do you like
sports/ball games?
________________
Have you been to
another country?
________________
etc etc Etc
etc etc etc
Instructions:
1. Student goes around, asks ONE QUESTION to ONE CLASSMATE.
2. If the classmate’s answer is YES, he/she writes the name of that classmate
below the question.
3. A student who is able to form a line (vertical, horizontal, diagonal) shouts
bingo.
1. A strong relationship is
based on
honesty/truthfulness.
2. There are no shortcuts in
lasting relationships.
Value to teach:
Based on mutual life goals
Has the freedom to suggest mutual
projects toward reaching life goals.
Step 3:
Close Friendship
Done at the right time and right
circumstances
Dating (from among your close
friends)
This is not just about a boy and a
girl meeting at a certain place.
Initially, should be a group date.
Basic purpose: for a person to
discover his/her own personality, and
to discover how to deal with people
of different personalities.
Dating (from among your close
friends)
From the group dates, a person can discern
who among his/her friends does he/she feel
most comfortable with.
Group date is not the same as dating around.
Only then can that person have an exclusive
dating with another.
Some activities in group dates:
1. Ball games, word/board games
2. Cook-out
3. Eating out together
4. Other activities that will bring
out your true self, and the best
in you
Dating (from among your close
friends)
How old should a person be
before starting to date exclusively?
Exclusive Dating
1. When you are aware of both the benefits and
dangers of dating.
2. When you have both worked out a set of
dating standards.
3. When you have purposed that you will not
lower these standards, even if it means
losing dates.
Benefits:
1. Helps you discover your
own likes, dislikes,
interests, etc.
2. Helps you discern the kind
of person whom you
enjoy to be with (fits your
own personality)
3. Can develop genuine
friendships
Dangers
1. When either (or both) is self-
centered and has no genuine
concern for the other
2. When one (or both) is pushy
and manipulative
3. When physical attraction
and sensuality have become
the primary reasons for
dating
Basic standards
1. Respect for each other's
thoughts and feelings
2. Knowledge and permission
of parents/guardian
3. Activities that will bring
out the best in both of you
4. Never in dark and
secluded places where you
will be tempted to defraud
each other.
To evaluate dating standards,
we must determine how they
will affect a future marriage--
to build or destroy it.
Exclusive Dating
is when a male and a female feel that from all their
close friends (and the people they have dated in the
past), there is one he/she likes to get to know more
on another level.
Courtship
Ideally, two people who decide to go on to the courtship
stage should have had a friendship that is tested by time
and trials.
this stage in a couple's relationship usually precedes
engagement.
Based on commitment to the
development of each other's character
Intimate Friendship
Freedom to correct each other-- in honesty but with
discretion
BUT, this is not the same as physical intimacy
that must only happen after marriage
TRUE LOVE WAITS.
For COURTSHIP
By
Leah Solmerin Corpuz, Ph.D.
09173127132

Courtship GAD by Dr. Leah S. Corpuz

  • 1.
    For COURTSHIP By Leah SolmerinCorpuz, Ph.D. 09173127132
  • 2.
    ccept yourself ccept yourself So… Youare ready to get into a relationship? But, First… Know that your most important relationship is that with yourself.
  • 3.
    Having wrong attitudesabout ourselves affect every other relationship in our life. - Bill Gothard ccept yourself
  • 4.
    Some evidence ofself-rejection • Excessive shyness • Over-attention on clothes • Neglect of personal care • Bullying • Self-criticism • Attempting to imitate someone admired • Awkward attempts to hide unchangeable defects • Extravagance (or wanting to have what others have) • Flirting with the opposite sex ccept yourself
  • 5.
    ccept yourself ow toyour authority ow to your authority Activity: “People inmy Life” Objective: To make thestudentappreciate the people that play vital role in his/herlife. Rationale: The studenthas to understandthatbefore getting into a new relationship, he/she needs to value the people thatare already inhis/her life.
  • 6.
    Procedure: 1. Student foldsa whole sheet of paper into ten boxes, and writes in each box the name of the top-ten persons in his/her life. Jose-Father Maria-mother Anna-Sister Liza-Best friend Etc. etc etc etc etc etc ow to your authority
  • 7.
    Abnormal Social Developmentin Teen- agers Communication breakdown StubbornnessOpen rebellionWrong friends Ungratefulness search for excitement or suicidal depression Condemnation of others Defense of sensuality ow to your authority
  • 8.
    The way agirl responded to the authority of her father tends to be the way she will respond to the authority of her husband. The way a boy treated his mother tends to be the way he will treat his wife. ow to your authority
  • 9.
    ccept yourself ow toyour authority ombat boredom ombat boredom
  • 10.
    Boredom curiosity experimentatio n Sensual focus violationof consciencerationalization Moral Impurity Redefining morality Lasciviousness defrauding your date unwanted pregnancy no preparation in starting a family marital conflicts separation = rebellion ombat boredom
  • 11.
    Journey to aHealthy/Lasting Relationship Acquaintances hip Casual Friendship Close Friendship DatingCourtship Intimate Friendship Marriage ombat boredom
  • 12.
    Based on occasionalcontacts Step 1: Acquaintanceship Can ask general questions: public information
  • 13.
    Conversation, makes the rhythm Conversationnow begins (my number – other’s number) Activity/Icebreaker: CONVERSATION
  • 14.
    A healthy relationshipstarts from a friendly conversation… That comes as a result of attentive listening through turn-taking skills. Value to teach:
  • 15.
    Based on commoninterest, activities, and concerns Can ask specific questions: opinions, ideas, wishes, and goals. Step 2: Casual Friendship
  • 16.
    Teacher distributes bingosheets. Activity/Icebreaker: Human Bingo Do you enjoy reading novels? _______________ Do you like sports/ball games? ________________ Have you been to another country? ________________ etc etc Etc etc etc etc Instructions: 1. Student goes around, asks ONE QUESTION to ONE CLASSMATE. 2. If the classmate’s answer is YES, he/she writes the name of that classmate below the question. 3. A student who is able to form a line (vertical, horizontal, diagonal) shouts bingo.
  • 17.
    1. A strongrelationship is based on honesty/truthfulness. 2. There are no shortcuts in lasting relationships. Value to teach:
  • 18.
    Based on mutuallife goals Has the freedom to suggest mutual projects toward reaching life goals. Step 3: Close Friendship
  • 19.
    Done at theright time and right circumstances Dating (from among your close friends) This is not just about a boy and a girl meeting at a certain place.
  • 20.
    Initially, should bea group date. Basic purpose: for a person to discover his/her own personality, and to discover how to deal with people of different personalities. Dating (from among your close friends)
  • 21.
    From the groupdates, a person can discern who among his/her friends does he/she feel most comfortable with. Group date is not the same as dating around. Only then can that person have an exclusive dating with another. Some activities in group dates: 1. Ball games, word/board games 2. Cook-out 3. Eating out together 4. Other activities that will bring out your true self, and the best in you Dating (from among your close friends)
  • 22.
    How old shoulda person be before starting to date exclusively? Exclusive Dating 1. When you are aware of both the benefits and dangers of dating. 2. When you have both worked out a set of dating standards. 3. When you have purposed that you will not lower these standards, even if it means losing dates. Benefits: 1. Helps you discover your own likes, dislikes, interests, etc. 2. Helps you discern the kind of person whom you enjoy to be with (fits your own personality) 3. Can develop genuine friendships Dangers 1. When either (or both) is self- centered and has no genuine concern for the other 2. When one (or both) is pushy and manipulative 3. When physical attraction and sensuality have become the primary reasons for dating Basic standards 1. Respect for each other's thoughts and feelings 2. Knowledge and permission of parents/guardian 3. Activities that will bring out the best in both of you 4. Never in dark and secluded places where you will be tempted to defraud each other.
  • 23.
    To evaluate datingstandards, we must determine how they will affect a future marriage-- to build or destroy it. Exclusive Dating
  • 24.
    is when amale and a female feel that from all their close friends (and the people they have dated in the past), there is one he/she likes to get to know more on another level. Courtship Ideally, two people who decide to go on to the courtship stage should have had a friendship that is tested by time and trials. this stage in a couple's relationship usually precedes engagement.
  • 25.
    Based on commitmentto the development of each other's character Intimate Friendship Freedom to correct each other-- in honesty but with discretion BUT, this is not the same as physical intimacy that must only happen after marriage TRUE LOVE WAITS.
  • 26.
    For COURTSHIP By Leah SolmerinCorpuz, Ph.D. 09173127132