This document discusses ways to boost self-confidence that don't involve just bombarding oneself with positive messages. It suggests understanding that one does not need to be "on" and perfect all the time, and avoiding absolutes when criticizing oneself. The real enemy is not other people but a false idea of what others think. One should treat oneself as a best friend rather than worst enemy, and find genuine happiness in others' successes instead of feeling competitive. True self-confidence comes from improving for oneself, not for others, and accepting different definitions of success.

1. Confidence!
A Non-Cliché Look at Boosting Self-confidence

2. How easy is it to be self-confident?
Well, it isn’t.
“One of the main reasons people lack self-
confidence is that they see a complete[ly]
different world other than the real one. They
assign superior powers to everyone else but
them and they believe that they are inferior
compared to others.”
http://www.buildsolidconfidence.com/Why_do_I
_lack_Confidence

3. How easy is it to be self-confident?
Studies done in the 1980s tried to raise self-
confidence in schools in the hopes of
decreasing bullying. However, it backfired.
They thought low self-esteem could be
eliminated with a “bombardment of positive
messages.”
They concluded that this can actually worsen
the mood of people who already have low self-
esteem.
http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/articles/top-
ten-facts-about-low-self-esteem/

4. How easy is it to be self-confident?
They ultimately learned that just saying nice
things to people isn’t enough to help them feel
confident about themselves.
So if positive messages aren’t the answer, what
exactly are we supposed to do about
confidence?

5. How can we increase self-
confidence?
(Because a lot of people really want to know)

6. You Don’t Have to Be “On” All the Time
Being “on” means feigning that everything is fine
and you have your life together.
People often assume everyone else is “on” all
the time—and succeeding at it. You are only
aware of your failings and not everyone else’s.
Whether we do it intentionally or not, trying to
be “on” all the time can damage our self-
confidence.

7. You Don’t Have to Be “On” All the Time
You don’t have to always be on top of your
game. Give yourself a well-deserved break.
If you're sick, sad, tired, depressed, angry,
frustrated, burned out, or anything else, it means
you need to rest up—physically and
emotionally.
Allowing yourself to take a break and not "keep
score" means you don't have to be 100% perfect
100% of your life.

8. You Don’t Have to Be “On” All the Time
Try to be okay with where you are at every
instance of your life, rather than waiting to be
better or happy.
Ruts, roadblocks, challenges, and
disappointments are super normal, so we have
to let ourselves know we're doing our best and
we're okay.

9. Understand the Real Enemy
Often, we feel pressure to look a certain way,
think a certain way, or achieve a certain
lifestyle.
We feel the pressure from what is said on TV,
social media, song lyrics, or even those we
admire.
It’s really easy to say, “They don’t think I’m
attractive because I’m overweight.”

10. Understand the Real Enemy
Think about it: who’s ‘they’? Think of specific
names of people who don’t like you. Often, no
specific names will come to mind.
Work on avoiding absolutes. Be careful about
blaming insecurities on
 People
 Society
 The Patriarchy
 Everyone/No one
 Men/Women

11. Understand the Real Enemy
And you know what? So what if there are people
out there who don't respect you or agree with
you? Are they really worth your time?
Is it worth the energy to please someone who
doesn't like you or never has your best interests at
heart?
The real enemy? A false interpretation of what
others think of you.

12. Be Your Best Friend Rather Than Your Worst
Enemy
The only person you can truly please in this
world is yourself. SO TREAT YOSELF.
Try to help yourself improve in healthy ways,
rather than berate or critique yourself. We all
have off-days, off-weeks, or off-years.

13. Be Your Best Friend Rather Than Your Worst
Enemy
How is this even remotely possible? Many
decide to:
 write things down
 chant a mantra to the mirror
 help other people
 take a break
 create something
 Whatever and etc.

14. Be Your Best Friend Rather Than Your Worst
Enemy
Be real with yourself; know where you can
and should improve and love yourself for
your efforts.

15. Be Genuinely Happy for Other People
Often, it's easy to get competitive when
success feels like a "1st place only" concept. It
can seem like someone else’s success takes
away from your own.
Truth is, that’s a lie. Just because other
people are further along on with similar goals
and aspirations, doesn’t mean there is no slice
of happiness for you.

16. Be Genuinely Happy for Other People
Celebrate with others when they succeed! We
don't know how much time and effort it took
them to get where they are, but they worked
hard be successful.
You’re being mature by giving respect where
it’s due and not feeling threatened by
someone else’s success.

17. Be Better and Confident for You
If you want to be better with how you look, a
specific hobby, or get further in life, then do
something!
You can do whatever you want to do. Just
make sure it's for you and not for someone
else.

18. Be Better and Confident for You
There is no council that decides the best
way to really do anything. There's no real
way to define what it truly means to be
attractive, successful, or rich—because
everyone wants something different out of
life.

19. Be Better and Confident for You
Self-confidence is a constant struggle for
many; set your own pace, reward, and terms
to feel accomplished, rather than trying to
live up to unrealistic expectations.