CompleteKit_RachelBrewer

Rachel H. Brewer - Nia Crerar - Guy McCrary - Davey Hatcher
FACILITATOR’S TRAINING KIT
Communication Studies 473, Section 001

DAVID WEBER, PH.D.
University of North Carolina Wilmington

Having the Difficult
Conversation
2016
HOW TO HANDLE ANGRY CUSTOMERS: FACILITATOR’S TRAINING GUIDE
RACHEL BREWER, NIA CRERAR, GUY MCCRARY, & DAVEY HATCHER
THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA WILMINGTON | Communication Studies Department

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University of North Carolina Wilmington | Communication Studies Department
Thanks to Myra Golden Seminars, LLC
HANDLING ANGRY CUSTOMERS
INTRODUCTION FOR TRAINERS
After the brief informational session on the psychology of anger, redirecting techniques,
and role-play activity, your employees will effectively handle unhappy clients in a tactful
and appropriate manner. Employees will understand the psychology behind anger and
therefore will know how best to act in each situation. They will learn the most common
mistakes to avoid. Finally, they will practice appropriate techniques to address a
situation concerning an unhappy customer. By the end of the training, your people will
have proven strategy to effectively deal with having difficult conversations with
customers.
Course Outline:
 Introduction of trainers
 The psychology of anger
 4 Things to never do with a customer
 Provoking versus supportive language
 Say “NO” using the U.S.A. method
 Role-play practice
TRAINING LENGTH:
Actual classroom training time consists of 30 minutes. Trainers will provide
refreshments for the employees. Trainers will arrive 30 minutes prior to training seminar
to set up the room, load all documents, and prepare the refreshment table.

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COURSE OUTLINE
TIMELINE OF EVENTS
MODULE NUMBER MODULE TIME ESTIMATED TIME
MODULE 1: Introduction 1-2 minutes
MODULE 2: The Psychology of Anger 2-3 minutes
MODULE 3: 4 Things to Never Do with
a Customer
1-2 minutes
MODULE 4: Provoking versus
Supportive Language
1-2 minutes
MODULE 5: The U.S.A. Method 2-3 minutes
MODULE 6: Role-Play Activity 10-15 minutes
MODULE 7: Debrief 3-4 minutes
Note to Trainer:
Actual classroom training time consists of 30-35 minutes. The introduction will consist of
1-2 minutes. The lecturette will last for 10-12 minutes. Role-play activities will last for
10-15 minutes. A short debrief will last 2-3 minutes.

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MODULE 1
INTRODUCTION
SUGGESTED TIME: 1-2 Minutes
POWERPOINTS: PPT 1
MATERIALS NEEDED: Workbook, PowerPoint, Refreshments
WORKBOOK PAGE: Not applicable
Before beginning class:
 Create and personalize a PowerPoint slideshow including all of your information.
 Create and print handouts for participants to take notes one. Provide a copy to all
participants.
 Buy refreshments for class.
 Create simple business card with important information from the slideshow.
Welcome and Overview
Take a few moments to introduce the trainers. Cover any housekeeping rules such as
electronic device use, break times, ect.
Welcome the employees and explain why they are attending this seminar. Tie your
opening to the organization’s customer service goals.
TRAINING OVERVIEW
 The trainer will now provide an overview of today’s seminar. Use the statement
bellow as a guide.
 Use PPT 1 for the introduction and PPT 2 for the second half of the introduction.
Today you will gain strategies, tactics, and insights for dealing with angry or unhappy
customers. Later today, you will learn about Campus Recreation’s MEET, GREET,
SEEK, and EXCEED guide to customer service. You will learn how to recognize
situations and how to handle them accordingly. You will learn about common mistakes
to avoid and by the end of this training, you will have a strategic plan for redirecting
aggressive behavior and providing excellent customer service.

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MODULE 2
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ANGER
POWERPOINTS: PPT 2
MATERIALS NEEDED: Lecturette located at end of Module 2
WORKBOOK PAGE: Pg. 2 of 6
DESCRIPTION:
This module explains the psychology of anger and how to recognize people’s rational,
or lack of rational, behind their decisions and choice of words.
ACTIVITIES
 Give a lecturette on the Psychology of Anger using the following notes
 Participants can take notes in their workbook page #
LECTURETTE
Anger precludes rationality
 Angry customers are not rational
 Wrapped up in the emotion of the moment
o Everything you say is filtered through their emotions
 Anger is an emotion and experienced in the right side of the brain
o Rationalizing, problem solving, listening, and negotiating are all left-brain
activities
Anger must be acknowledged
 When people communicate, they expect a person(s) to respond or react.
 This response and reaction are called the communication chain
 Failure to respond leaves the communication chain unlinked
o Ex: go into work and say “hello, how are you?” to a coworker and they
don’t respond you might feel awkward or embarrassed
 If customer expresses anger and we fail to respond, the communication chain is
broken
o They may speak louder to make his/her point
 You can say:
o “Clearly you’re upset and I want you to know that getting to the bottom of
this is just as important to me as it is to you.”

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Anger diffusion
 If you don’t diffuse the anger before problem solving, your customer will not be
listening
 When anger is diffused, they are calm and able to rationalize
 Create calm before starting the problem solving process
Ventilation is crucial
 An erupting volcano: A volcano erupts and then subsides
 Customer must experience and express their anger through venting
 Never say: “Calm down!”

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MODULE 3
4 THINGS TO NEVER DO WITH A CUSTOMER
POWERPOINTS: PPT 3
DESCRIPTION:
This module explains 4 things to never do with an upset customer. Knowledge of these
4 points will help participants avoid any unnecessary aggression from customers.
ACTIVITIES
 Give a lecturette on the 4 Things to Never Do with a Customer using the
following notes
LECTURETTE
Do not reduce choices with an upset customer
 Help customers feel as though they have choices
 It’s important for customers to feel as though they have some control
 Give them options and let them make choices, even if it is something small
 Reducing choices leads to encouraged aggression
Do not belabor a point with an upset customer
 No matter how right you are, do not repeatedly say your point over and over
again, or more than necessary
 Don’t badger your customer because they customer will think that you think they
are dumb
 Instead enter into a constructive dialogue with your customer.
Do not rebut issues
 Find points that you agree on
 Ex: if customer says black, don’t say white
 EX: “We want to get to the bottom of this just as much as you do.”

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Try not to cause a sense of helplessness
 Unhappy customers want their problems solved
 Will become angry if they feel you aren’t working hard enough or there are no
options
 Ensure your words, tone, and sense of urgency all convey that you are there to
help
 Avoid: “This is all I can do.” and “There’s nothing else I can do.”

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MODULE 4
PROVOKING VERSUS SUPPORTIVE LANGUAGE
POWERPOINTS: PPT 4
DESCRIPTION:
This module explains how to use “I” language instead of “you” language. By
distinguishing between the two, a participant can either diffuse a situation or not
instigate further aggression.
ACTIVITIES
 Give a lecturette on provoking versus supportive language using the following
notes
LECTURETTE
YOU language can sound accusatory and might instigate further aggression. By using
“I” language you deflect the blame from the customer.
Example of provoking language:
Ma’am, there’s no point in going through all of this with me. You’ll just have to tell the
story again to our manager.
Example of supportive language:
Ms. Jones, I don’t think I can help with this. I really need to get you over to our assistant
director Mr. Loso, where he can better assist you. Can you hold while I get him on the
line?

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MODULE 5
THE U.S.A. METHOD
POWERPOINTS: PPT 5
DESCRIPTION:
This module explains how to use the U.S.A. method to say ‘no’ to a customer without
directly saying ‘no’. This also
ACTIVITIES
 Give a lecturette on provoking versus supportive language using the following
notes
LECTURETTE
The one word every single customer “hates” to hear is “NO”.
Another way to say “no” is to not say the word “no” at all. Using this approach, you can
say “no” to a customer without causing resentment or worse, losing the customer.
Understanding Statement
Never say ‘no’ to a customer without first demonstrating that you understand fully
their request or question. It is very important that the customer feel you
understand the inconvenience they have experienced. If they don't feel you
understand what they are feeling, they may become more difficult.
Situation
Explain the situation. That is, explain exactly why you will have to refuse the
customer’s request.
Action
When you have to say no, you still have to offer an option. In the Action step you tell the
customer what you ‘can’ do.

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EXAMPLE:
Understanding Statement:
“I respect your need to speak with someone in authority.”
Situation:
“My supervisor is counting on me to do my job and resolve problems our customers
encounter. Will you please give me an opportunity to try to solve the problem before we
go any further?”
Action:
"If after speaking with me, you are still unhappy, I’ll immediately connect you with my
supervisor. How does that sound?”

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MODULE 6
ROLE-PLAY ACTIVITY
POWERPOINTS: PPT 6
MATERIALS NEEDED: Scenario Cards
DESCRIPTION:
This module explains the rules and the scenarios of the role-playing game. This puts
into practice the material covered in modules 1-5.
ACTIVITIES
 Introduce the role play activity
o Groups of 3-4 (preferably 3)
o 2 people will act out the scenario
o Other(s) will watch and evaluate
o Will call on groups to report what they’ve seen
 Pass out scenario cards
SCENARIOS & POSSIBLE ANSWERS
 Scenario 1: Patron is upset that they are denied access to the Rec Center
because they forgot their one card.
 Scenario 2: Patron is upset because they lent their one card to a friend and
confiscated. They must come claim their card from the front desk before closing.
 Scenario 3: Patron is upset because they were attempting to use a friend’s one
card and were not aware that this is not allowed.
 Scenario 4: Patron comes in upset demanding to speak with management.
 Scenario 5: Customer is upset because their previous complaint was not
resolved and they feel ignored.
 Scenario 6: A patron who does not understand a policy continues to argue even
though you have already explained the rules twice.

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MODULE 7
DEBRIEF
POWERPOINTS: PPT 7-9
MATERIALS NEEDED: Unhappy Customer Info Cards
DESCRIPTION:
This module concludes the training session and asks the participants to think about how
they could apply the concepts they have learned to the job. The final module concludes
all of the concepts covered through group discussion.
GOALS:
We designed this training session to help employees:
 Give participants the skills to handle unhappy clients
 Put into practice the concepts for understanding anger and effective word choice
ACTIVITIES
Wrap up the training, add any closing remarks, and allow for feedback from the
audience.
 Have employees talk in groups of three or four, [PPT 7]
 In their groups, they must talk about…
1. What they learned today
2. How they could apply it to the job
 Call on a couple of random groups to answer one or both questions
 Give a quick overview of what we just learned, [PPT 8]
 Hand out “Dealing with Unhappy Customers” informative business card, [PPT 9]

4/14/2016
1
HAVING THE DIFFICULT CONVERSATION
RACHEL H. BREWER - NIA CRERAR - GUY MCCRARY - DAVEY HATCHER
“Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”
~ Bill Gates
Anger Preludes
Rationality
Anger Must be
Acknowledged
Anger must be
Diffused
Ventilation is
Crucial

4/14/2016
2
4 THINGS TO NEVER DO WITH A CUSTOMER
Do not reduce choices
Do not belabor a point
Do not rebut issues
Avoid causing a sense of helplessness
PROVOKINGVERSUS SUPPORTIVE LANGUAGE
Provoking language sends the message:
You are certain you are right
 You’re unwilling to see the customer’s position
Challenges the customer to back up what he says
Has harsh, confrontational tone
Tends to blame the customer

4/14/2016
3
SAY “NO” USING THE U.S.A. METHOD
Understanding
Statement
• Demonstrate that
you understand
their request
• May become more
difficult if they
think you don’t
understand their
inconvenience
Situation
• Explain
• The ‘why’ behind
the ‘NO’
Action
• Offer alternatives
• What you ‘CAN’
do
LETS PUT THIS INTO PRACTICE
Role-playing Activity
Groups of 3-4
2 people will act out scenario
Others will watch and evaluate

4/14/2016
4
THINK AND REFLECT
What did you learn?
How could you apply it?
Psychology behind
anger
• Angry people are not
rational
• Must acknowledge the
anger
• Must be calm before
problem solving
• They must vent
Never:
• Reduce choices
• Continually repeat
yourself
• Focus on
disagreements
• Cause helplessness
I vs.You
• You is negative
• I deflects blame
• ‘You’ provokes and ‘I’
diffuses
U.S.A.
• Understanding
Statement
• Situation
• Action
A LOOK BACK

Having the Difficult
Conversation
2016
HOW TO HANDLE ANGRY CUSTOMERS: WORKBOOK
NAME: ________________________________________________
THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA WILMINGTON | Communication Studies Department

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Communication Studies Department
HANDLING ANGRY CUSTOMERS
INTRODUCTION FOR PARTICIPANTS
Today you will gain strategies, tactics, and insights for dealing with angry or unhappy
customers. Later today, you will learn about Campus Recreation’s MEET, GREET,
SEEK, and EXCEED guide to customer service. You will learn how to recognize
situations and how to handle them accordingly. You will learn about common mistakes
to avoid and by the end of this training, you will have a strategic plan for redirecting
aggressive behavior and providing excellent customer service.
Course Outline:
 Introductions
 The psychology of anger
 4 Things to never do with a customer
 Provoking versus supportive language
 Say “NO” using the U.S.A. method
 Role-play practice
 Think and Reflect
NOTE:
Actual classroom training time consists of 30-35 minutes. Trainers will provide
refreshments for you to snack on throughout the training. Trainers ask that you please
put away all electronic devices for the duration of the training session. Please refrain
from leaving the classroom unless an emergency. Please use the restroom before or
after the facilitation if able.
Thank you.

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NOTES

NOTES:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Anger
Preludes
Rationality
Anger Must be
Acknowledged
Anger must be
Diffused
Ventilation is
Crucial

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4 THINGS TO NEVER DO
NOTES
DO NOT __________________________________________________
DO NOT __________________________________________________
DO NOT __________________________________________________
AVOID CAUSING ___________________________________________
NOTES:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

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PROVOKING VS. SUPPORTIVE
NOTES
Provoking language sends the message:
 You are _________________ you are right
 You’re unwilling to see the customer’s position
 Challenges the customer to back up what he says
 Has harsh, confrontational tone
 Tends to _________________ the customer
NOTES:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Example of provoking language:
Ma’am, there’s no point in going through all of this with me. You’ll just have to tell
the story again to our manager.
Example of supportive language:
Ms. Jones, I don’t think I can help with this. I really need to get you over to our
assistant director Mr. Loso, where he can better assist you. Can you hold while I
get him on the line?

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THE U.S.A. METHOD
NOTES

NOTES:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
EXAMPLE:
Understanding Statement:
“I respect your need to speak with someone in authority.”
Situation:
“My supervisor is counting on me to do my job and resolve problems our
customers encounter. Will you please give me an opportunity to try to solve the
problem before we go any further?”
Action:
"If after speaking with me, you are still unhappy, I’ll immediately connect you with
my supervisor. How does that sound?”
U_____________________
• Demonstrate
that you
understand
their request
• May become
more difficult
if they think
you don’t
understand
their
inconvenience
Situation • Explain
• The
'__________'
behind the
‘NO’
Action
• Offer
____________
• What you
‘_________’
do

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