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DEVELOPING AND
          MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS
                             REAL COMMUNICATIONS
                         by Dan O’Hair AND Mary Wiemann
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

                 Two individuals
                 interconnect and are
                 interdependent
                 through relationships.




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

                 Interpersonal
                 communication is the
                 exchange of verbal and
                 nonverbal messages
                 between people who
                 have a relationship and
                 are influenced by a
                 partner’s message.




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

                 Your relational network
                 is a web of
                 relationships that
                 connect individuals.

                         family
                         friendship
                         love
                         online friendship


Tuesday, March 5, 2013
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

                 Friendship is a close
                 and caring relationship
                 between two people
                 that is mutually
                 beneficial and
                 satisfying.
                      available
                      caring
                      honest
                      confidential
                      loyal
                      empathic
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

                 Love is a relationship
                 which you have deep
                 affection, passion, and
                 commitment.

                         eros
                         ludus
                         storge
                         pragma
                         mania
                         agape

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

                 To satisfy basic human
                 needs...

                         We have a need for
                         companionship, to
                         involve others in our
                         lives, and to be
                         involved in other’s
                         lives, or inclusion.



Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

                 To satisfy basic human
                 needs...

                         We have an innate
                         need for intellectual,
                         emotional, and
                         physical stimulation.




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

                 To satisfy basic human
                 needs...

                         We might enter into
                         relationships in order
                         to fulfill a goal,
                         whether emotional or
                         practical.




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??


                 Proximity

                 Physical attractiveness

                 Similarity




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

                 Attraction-similarity
                 hypothesis

                         The extent to
                         which we project
                         ourselves to others
                         is a direct result of
                         the attraction we
                         feel toward them.



Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

                 Matching hypothesis

                         We seek
                         relationships with
                         those that have
                         comparable levels
                         of attractiveness.




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

                 Genetic-similarity
                 hypothesis

                         We tend to form
                         relationships with
                         those of the same
                         ethnic group due to
                         greater genetic
                         similarity.



Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

                                 Social exchange of costs
                                 and benefits means that
                                 you accept the good
                                 with the bad.

                                 Rewards are the things
                                 that benefit you.

                                 Costs are the things
                                 that upset you.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

                                 Uncertainty reduction
                                 theory says that when two
                                 people meet, they try to
                                 decrease the uncertainty
                                 between them.

                                     monitoring
                                     proactive strategies
                                     indirect strategies


Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

                                 Relational dialectics
                                 theory is experiencing
                                 contradicting or
                                 opposing feelings
                                 about your partner
                                 and about the
                                 relationship.

                                 Dialectical tensions


Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

                                 Dialectical tensions
                                 when you have
                                 conflicting goals.
                                      autonomy vs.
                                      connection
                                      openness vs.
                                      closedness
                                      predictability vs.
                                      novelty
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

                 Social penetration theory

                         When people move
                         from a superficial
                         level in a
                         relationship to a
                         more intimate level.




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

                 Communication privacy
                 management theory

                         Describes how you
                         perceive
                         information about
                         yourself and how
                         you disclose or
                         protect it.



Tuesday, March 5, 2013
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

                 Strategic topic avoidance
                 is used to maneuver the
                 conversation away from
                 undesirable topics.




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP STAGES

                 Initiating stage

                 Exploratory stage

                 Intensification stage

                 Stable stage

                         partners are
                         integrating and
                         bonding

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP STAGES


                 Declining stage when
                 things fall apart.

                         uncertainty events
                         interference
                         unmet
                         expectations


Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP STAGES

                 Repair tactics
                         improving
                         communication
                         focus on the
                         positive
                         reinterpreting
                         behaviors with a
                         more balanced
                         view
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP STAGES

                 Termination stage
                         fading of the
                         relationship
                         death




Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RELATIONSHIP STAGES

                 Reconciliation
                         spend more time
                         together
                         mediation
                         civil resolution
                         don’t give up
                         mutual interaction
                         miss each other

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

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Developing & Maintaining Relationships

  • 1. DEVELOPING AND MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS REAL COMMUNICATIONS by Dan O’Hair AND Mary Wiemann Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 2. INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS Two individuals interconnect and are interdependent through relationships. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 3. INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS Interpersonal communication is the exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages between people who have a relationship and are influenced by a partner’s message. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 4. INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS Your relational network is a web of relationships that connect individuals. family friendship love online friendship Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 5. INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS Friendship is a close and caring relationship between two people that is mutually beneficial and satisfying. available caring honest confidential loyal empathic Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 6. INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS Love is a relationship which you have deep affection, passion, and commitment. eros ludus storge pragma mania agape Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 7. RELATIONSHIPS...WHY?? To satisfy basic human needs... We have a need for companionship, to involve others in our lives, and to be involved in other’s lives, or inclusion. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 8. RELATIONSHIPS...WHY?? To satisfy basic human needs... We have an innate need for intellectual, emotional, and physical stimulation. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 9. RELATIONSHIPS...WHY?? To satisfy basic human needs... We might enter into relationships in order to fulfill a goal, whether emotional or practical. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 10. RELATIONSHIPS...WHY?? Proximity Physical attractiveness Similarity Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 11. RELATIONSHIPS...WHY?? Attraction-similarity hypothesis The extent to which we project ourselves to others is a direct result of the attraction we feel toward them. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 12. RELATIONSHIPS...WHY?? Matching hypothesis We seek relationships with those that have comparable levels of attractiveness. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 13. RELATIONSHIPS...WHY?? Genetic-similarity hypothesis We tend to form relationships with those of the same ethnic group due to greater genetic similarity. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 14. RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS Social exchange of costs and benefits means that you accept the good with the bad. Rewards are the things that benefit you. Costs are the things that upset you. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 15. RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS Uncertainty reduction theory says that when two people meet, they try to decrease the uncertainty between them. monitoring proactive strategies indirect strategies Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 16. RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS Relational dialectics theory is experiencing contradicting or opposing feelings about your partner and about the relationship. Dialectical tensions Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 17. RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS Dialectical tensions when you have conflicting goals. autonomy vs. connection openness vs. closedness predictability vs. novelty Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 18. WITHHOLDING INFORMATION Social penetration theory When people move from a superficial level in a relationship to a more intimate level. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 19. WITHHOLDING INFORMATION Communication privacy management theory Describes how you perceive information about yourself and how you disclose or protect it. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 20. WITHHOLDING INFORMATION Strategic topic avoidance is used to maneuver the conversation away from undesirable topics. Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 21. RELATIONSHIP STAGES Initiating stage Exploratory stage Intensification stage Stable stage partners are integrating and bonding Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 22. RELATIONSHIP STAGES Declining stage when things fall apart. uncertainty events interference unmet expectations Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 23. RELATIONSHIP STAGES Repair tactics improving communication focus on the positive reinterpreting behaviors with a more balanced view Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 24. RELATIONSHIP STAGES Termination stage fading of the relationship death Tuesday, March 5, 2013
  • 25. RELATIONSHIP STAGES Reconciliation spend more time together mediation civil resolution don’t give up mutual interaction miss each other Tuesday, March 5, 2013

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