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How to ease the struggle
Promise of Allah for
Good and Pure Life



 "Whoever works righteousness, man or
 woman, and has faith, verily, to them will
 We give a new Life, a life that is good and
 pure, and We will bestow on such their
 reward according to the best of their
 actions.“ Nahal,16:97
Way to reach Jannah
 "Do good deeds
 properly,
 sincerely and
 moderately. . . Always adopt a middle, moderate,
  regular course, whereby you will reach your target (of
  paradise)"
- Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Hadith 470
What is balance between Islamic
work and family?
It means to create harmony- a
 state in which nothing is out of
 proportion or unduly emphasized
 at the expense of the other.
Its advantages?
 Enhanced productivity and commitment to Islam,
  family and society.
 Less conflict between various roles within life- i.e.
  being a parent or a spouse.
 Better relationships with, colleagues, friends & family.
 Ability to feel more confident about life and be
  happier
Life is a juggling act.
Bryan Dyson, a former CEO of Coca Cola

                           Health

                                         Friends
                 Family
                                          ICNA


          work                                 Spirit

                                         Personal Excellence
Challenge of Balancing Life
   ISLAMIC          FAMILY
   WORK
Islam is balanced way of life
 Islam is a system of life (Deen) that is optimally
  balanced in its design by Allah SWT based on His
  ultimate knowledge and absolute wisdom.1




  And the Firmament has He raised high and
  He has set up the balance (of Justice) .In
  order that ye may not transgress (due)
  balance. So establish weight with justice and
  fall not short in the balance. Rahman,55:7-9
Balance is shining feature of
Muslim Ummah
 Allah (SWT) has mentioned balance, moderation and
 equilibrium as the distinguishing feature of the
 Muslim Ummah




    Thus have We made of you an Ummah
    justly balanced that ye might be witnesses
    over the nations and the Apostle a witness
    over yourselves… Baqarah,2:143
Individual Muslims must be
balanced
 Islam expects its followers at a minimum, to be
  balanced, moderate and fair in everything they do; and
  to strive towards excellence in goodness, as their
  target.
 “Always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course,
  whereby you will reach your target (of paradise)"
   (Bukhari)
Maintain balance as a Muslim
 Can be viewed from two perspectives:

1. Balance in views, attitudes
   and focus
2. Balance in assigning time
   and resources
1- Balance in views
 Many Muslims regard Islam as a religion (a set of
  religious rituals
 They think balance is to be struck between Dunya
  (worldly matters) and “Deen”(misunderstood as
  “merely” religion)
 To give enough time to religious rituals in a way that
  their worldly pursuits are not negatively affected.
 This leads to a lifestyle where they worship their
  “Dunya” (worldly matters and expediencies) and only a
  little time here and/or a little money there are given to
  the acts of worship.
2-Balance in assigning time and
resources
 Deen encompasses every part and aspect of Dunya
 It is a matter of assigning appropriate time and
  resources to all components of Deen according to the
  importance and priorities that Allah (SWT) has
  assigned to them
 Prophet (SAW) demonstrated this balance through his
  practice, and the Sahabah observed them in their lives
Factors determining allocation of
time and resources
Is this an ideal Islamic society?

Are Muslims living as minority?

What stage is the Islamic Movement at ?

Is the person a leader or a worker?

Is it normal situation or emergency?
5 Areas of Islamic Obligation
                      Family



       Islamic
                                      Health
        work




                                Relation
           Finances
                               with Allah
Time and resources to be given to
5 obligations:
 1-Islamic work responsibilities are met on a timely
  basis in such a way that the Islamic movement is able
  to progress towards its goals according to its strategy
  and plan.
 2-A strong personal relationship with Allah is
  maintained and efforts to attain personal excellence in
  Islamic knowledge and Ibadah are consistently
  pursued;
5 Areas of Islamic Obligations
 3- Family’s basic physical and psychological needs,
  according to the Ma ‘roof of the society, are adequately
  met and children’s training and coaching needs are not
  neglected
 4- The person’s own physical health (through
  adequate food, rest and exercise) is maintained.
 5- Reasonable, lawful money/resources are earned
  to finance all of the above.
Exceptions to this model
 This model is ordinarily applicable to Muslims in
  normal circumstances.
 It is neither applicable to all Muslims nor to all
  situations.
 A leader will need to spend much more time on the
  first two items on a consistent basis
 Depending on the stage of Islamic work, everyone may
  have to suffer and endure extra hardships and sacrifice
  of personal well-being and physical health
Where do we find a model of
balance?
 This balancing is not an easy task.
 1- Seerah: We find ideal level of moderation and
  balance in the life of the Prophet (SAW).
 2-Lifestyle of the Sahabah is another model.
  Prophet said: “The best society is my society; then the
  generation succeeding them and then the generation
  succeeding them.”
Example of person with
imbalanced life
 Such type of father/spouse habitually gulps down his
  dinner and is out the door for the rest of the night.
 He spends long hours away from his family serving on
  masjid committees, counseling strangers with their
  problems, organizing fund-raising events, and
  attending endless meetings.
 When he is home, he talks on the phone for hours, sits
  in front of the email, and then collapses, exhausted
  into bed.
Stranger to one’s spouse and
children
 His wife may feel that it is her duty to willingly do
  without marital companionship in order to free her
  husband to do the "more important" work of Allah.
 But if the woman cares at all about
  her husband, she will eventually feel betrayed and
  rejected.
 If years go by and she becomes used to living without
  him, such that she no longer needs or wants him, then
  he has lost her, and probably his children also.
Children need their father
 It is not enough for the father to bring home the
  money and then feel he has done his job.
 Sons and daughters need their fathers to spend time
  with them.
 Sons who are deprived of their father's companionship
  and affection are more likely to become delinquent or
  deviant in their teens.
Children need their father
 Daughters who fail to receive their father's attention
  and praise are more vulnerable to sexual predators as
  they unconsciously search for a loving father
  replacement.
 A desperate need for love and validation has led many
  teens to forbidden and self-destructive behaviors,
 Kids who do sports and have fun with their dads tend
  to have fewer social problems such as smoking or
  drinking, and they are more likely to have a stable and
  fulfilling marriage relationship in later years
Wives need loving husbands
 Wives who fail to receive regular doses of loving
  attention from their husbands will lack the self-esteem
  to effectively train an Islamic family.
 The wife's depression and nervous anxiety from her
  husband's prolonged absences can affect her unborn
  fetus.
 If she is struggling with her own feelings of
  abandonment and rejection, how can she be
  everything for her children?
Strong family is vital for joyous
existence
 But when a woman feels cherished by her husband and
  respected, she receives a tremendous boost of energy
  and there is nothing she would not do for him.
 A strong marriage is essential to good health, longevity
  and a joyous and meaningful existence.
 It is not appropriate to view our Muslim families as
  impediments to our lofty spiritual ambitions, but
  rather, they are a trial of our actual, personal
  application of Islam.
No competition between Islamic
work and family.
 Raising a family is Islamic work.
 Maintaining the spirit of love and peace at home is very
    rigorous, nafs-reducing, intensive Islamic training.
    Wives and children need to be included in Islamic work at
    home or in the local community.
   Children learn by imitation, so they need to see their
    fathers in action.
   When men use the Islamic work to try to avoid marital
    conflicts and the strains of child discipline, they avoid
    having to develop the patience, compassion and selfless
    attitude that children and wives demand.
   This is a grievous setback to their spiritual maturity.
Family First Policy
 All Islamic organizations should adopt a "Family First"
    policy if they are serious about being vehicles of Islam.
   Lectures and conferences can only give people theoretical
    knowledge.
   You may fully understand the status of women in Islam, or
    the duties of wives, for example.
   Your trial is to see if you can behave in this manner at
    home.
   Each trial that your family presents to you is a means for
    inner purification, and serves as the practical training and
    test of your faith
Example of Ibrahim (AS)
 At no time did Ibrahim give up or sacrifice his relationship with
    his sons or his wives in order to follow Allah.
   Nor did he leave his sons' religious education and moral
    upbringing to their mothers while he went off to make dawah.
   His sons were a priority in their father's life, and they had a close
    relationship.
   When Ibrahim was ready and willing to sacrifice his first-born
    son to Allah, it was not because Ismail was a victim of parental
    coldness or neglect.
   Rather, he was the recipient of prophetic understanding.
   It was as a result of the strength of this family bond, that father
    and son were united in full submission to the command of Allah.
Tips on achieving this balance:

1-
 . If you can break down your day and plan your
  activities, you will find time that you didn't know
  existed.
 Effective time management will give you the feeling
  that you have more hours in your day.
2-Multitasking
 Spend time driving to and from work or school,
  listening to your Islamic CD’s
 Memorizing Quran? Take pocket Quran with you
  wherever you go, be it a doctor's appointment, your
  child's skating practice, or even while you are cooking
  dinner
 Do reading or writing while waiting for your children
  at a scout meeting or some other activity.
3-Delegate
 Delegate! Delegate! Delegate
 Have a talk with the spouse and children. If they are
  willing to help in Islamic work, the whole family will
  benefit in the long run. It may take some persistence
  and a little tenacity, but family can get involved.
 The kids can get a reward at the end of the week for
  helping. One can take them out for dinner for helping
  out.
4-Hired Help
 If you can afford it, hire a secretarial help or
  someone to help with house chores.
 One could hire a high-school or college-aged person to
  come in and help.
5-Re-evaluate Your Standards.
 One must re evaluate the standards of living one has
  adopted and decide if one really needs to put lot of
  time in maintaining it.
 Is it possible to live with less and hence spend more
  time with the family rather than long hours at work or
  doing multiple jobs.
 Look at the lifestyle of those who have less than you.
 Do not envy the lifestyle of those who have more than
  you.
6- Plan Quality Time
 It is best to schedule family time and time with spouse
  and kids on daily basis.
 It's important for marriage and children's wellbeing
  that time is spent together in unhurried, leisure
  activities. They don't have to be all-day events.
7- Dua


And those who pray "Our Lord! grant unto us
wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our
eyes and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous
Furqan,25:74
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Balancing life with family and islamic work

  • 1. How to ease the struggle
  • 2. Promise of Allah for Good and Pure Life "Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily, to them will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.“ Nahal,16:97
  • 3. Way to reach Jannah  "Do good deeds  properly,  sincerely and  moderately. . . Always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course, whereby you will reach your target (of paradise)" - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Hadith 470
  • 4. What is balance between Islamic work and family? It means to create harmony- a state in which nothing is out of proportion or unduly emphasized at the expense of the other.
  • 5. Its advantages?  Enhanced productivity and commitment to Islam, family and society.  Less conflict between various roles within life- i.e. being a parent or a spouse.  Better relationships with, colleagues, friends & family.  Ability to feel more confident about life and be happier
  • 6. Life is a juggling act. Bryan Dyson, a former CEO of Coca Cola Health Friends Family ICNA work Spirit Personal Excellence
  • 7. Challenge of Balancing Life ISLAMIC FAMILY WORK
  • 8. Islam is balanced way of life  Islam is a system of life (Deen) that is optimally balanced in its design by Allah SWT based on His ultimate knowledge and absolute wisdom.1 And the Firmament has He raised high and He has set up the balance (of Justice) .In order that ye may not transgress (due) balance. So establish weight with justice and fall not short in the balance. Rahman,55:7-9
  • 9. Balance is shining feature of Muslim Ummah  Allah (SWT) has mentioned balance, moderation and equilibrium as the distinguishing feature of the Muslim Ummah Thus have We made of you an Ummah justly balanced that ye might be witnesses over the nations and the Apostle a witness over yourselves… Baqarah,2:143
  • 10. Individual Muslims must be balanced  Islam expects its followers at a minimum, to be balanced, moderate and fair in everything they do; and to strive towards excellence in goodness, as their target.  “Always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course, whereby you will reach your target (of paradise)" (Bukhari)
  • 11. Maintain balance as a Muslim  Can be viewed from two perspectives: 1. Balance in views, attitudes and focus 2. Balance in assigning time and resources
  • 12. 1- Balance in views  Many Muslims regard Islam as a religion (a set of religious rituals  They think balance is to be struck between Dunya (worldly matters) and “Deen”(misunderstood as “merely” religion)  To give enough time to religious rituals in a way that their worldly pursuits are not negatively affected.  This leads to a lifestyle where they worship their “Dunya” (worldly matters and expediencies) and only a little time here and/or a little money there are given to the acts of worship.
  • 13. 2-Balance in assigning time and resources  Deen encompasses every part and aspect of Dunya  It is a matter of assigning appropriate time and resources to all components of Deen according to the importance and priorities that Allah (SWT) has assigned to them  Prophet (SAW) demonstrated this balance through his practice, and the Sahabah observed them in their lives
  • 14. Factors determining allocation of time and resources Is this an ideal Islamic society? Are Muslims living as minority? What stage is the Islamic Movement at ? Is the person a leader or a worker? Is it normal situation or emergency?
  • 15. 5 Areas of Islamic Obligation Family Islamic Health work Relation Finances with Allah
  • 16. Time and resources to be given to 5 obligations:  1-Islamic work responsibilities are met on a timely basis in such a way that the Islamic movement is able to progress towards its goals according to its strategy and plan.  2-A strong personal relationship with Allah is maintained and efforts to attain personal excellence in Islamic knowledge and Ibadah are consistently pursued;
  • 17. 5 Areas of Islamic Obligations  3- Family’s basic physical and psychological needs, according to the Ma ‘roof of the society, are adequately met and children’s training and coaching needs are not neglected  4- The person’s own physical health (through adequate food, rest and exercise) is maintained.  5- Reasonable, lawful money/resources are earned to finance all of the above.
  • 18. Exceptions to this model  This model is ordinarily applicable to Muslims in normal circumstances.  It is neither applicable to all Muslims nor to all situations.  A leader will need to spend much more time on the first two items on a consistent basis  Depending on the stage of Islamic work, everyone may have to suffer and endure extra hardships and sacrifice of personal well-being and physical health
  • 19. Where do we find a model of balance?  This balancing is not an easy task.  1- Seerah: We find ideal level of moderation and balance in the life of the Prophet (SAW).  2-Lifestyle of the Sahabah is another model. Prophet said: “The best society is my society; then the generation succeeding them and then the generation succeeding them.”
  • 20. Example of person with imbalanced life  Such type of father/spouse habitually gulps down his dinner and is out the door for the rest of the night.  He spends long hours away from his family serving on masjid committees, counseling strangers with their problems, organizing fund-raising events, and attending endless meetings.  When he is home, he talks on the phone for hours, sits in front of the email, and then collapses, exhausted into bed.
  • 21. Stranger to one’s spouse and children  His wife may feel that it is her duty to willingly do without marital companionship in order to free her husband to do the "more important" work of Allah.  But if the woman cares at all about her husband, she will eventually feel betrayed and rejected.  If years go by and she becomes used to living without him, such that she no longer needs or wants him, then he has lost her, and probably his children also.
  • 22. Children need their father  It is not enough for the father to bring home the money and then feel he has done his job.  Sons and daughters need their fathers to spend time with them.  Sons who are deprived of their father's companionship and affection are more likely to become delinquent or deviant in their teens.
  • 23. Children need their father  Daughters who fail to receive their father's attention and praise are more vulnerable to sexual predators as they unconsciously search for a loving father replacement.  A desperate need for love and validation has led many teens to forbidden and self-destructive behaviors,  Kids who do sports and have fun with their dads tend to have fewer social problems such as smoking or drinking, and they are more likely to have a stable and fulfilling marriage relationship in later years
  • 24. Wives need loving husbands  Wives who fail to receive regular doses of loving attention from their husbands will lack the self-esteem to effectively train an Islamic family.  The wife's depression and nervous anxiety from her husband's prolonged absences can affect her unborn fetus.  If she is struggling with her own feelings of abandonment and rejection, how can she be everything for her children?
  • 25. Strong family is vital for joyous existence  But when a woman feels cherished by her husband and respected, she receives a tremendous boost of energy and there is nothing she would not do for him.  A strong marriage is essential to good health, longevity and a joyous and meaningful existence.  It is not appropriate to view our Muslim families as impediments to our lofty spiritual ambitions, but rather, they are a trial of our actual, personal application of Islam.
  • 26. No competition between Islamic work and family.  Raising a family is Islamic work.  Maintaining the spirit of love and peace at home is very rigorous, nafs-reducing, intensive Islamic training.  Wives and children need to be included in Islamic work at home or in the local community.  Children learn by imitation, so they need to see their fathers in action.  When men use the Islamic work to try to avoid marital conflicts and the strains of child discipline, they avoid having to develop the patience, compassion and selfless attitude that children and wives demand.  This is a grievous setback to their spiritual maturity.
  • 27. Family First Policy  All Islamic organizations should adopt a "Family First" policy if they are serious about being vehicles of Islam.  Lectures and conferences can only give people theoretical knowledge.  You may fully understand the status of women in Islam, or the duties of wives, for example.  Your trial is to see if you can behave in this manner at home.  Each trial that your family presents to you is a means for inner purification, and serves as the practical training and test of your faith
  • 28. Example of Ibrahim (AS)  At no time did Ibrahim give up or sacrifice his relationship with his sons or his wives in order to follow Allah.  Nor did he leave his sons' religious education and moral upbringing to their mothers while he went off to make dawah.  His sons were a priority in their father's life, and they had a close relationship.  When Ibrahim was ready and willing to sacrifice his first-born son to Allah, it was not because Ismail was a victim of parental coldness or neglect.  Rather, he was the recipient of prophetic understanding.  It was as a result of the strength of this family bond, that father and son were united in full submission to the command of Allah.
  • 29. Tips on achieving this balance: 1-  . If you can break down your day and plan your activities, you will find time that you didn't know existed.  Effective time management will give you the feeling that you have more hours in your day.
  • 30. 2-Multitasking  Spend time driving to and from work or school, listening to your Islamic CD’s  Memorizing Quran? Take pocket Quran with you wherever you go, be it a doctor's appointment, your child's skating practice, or even while you are cooking dinner  Do reading or writing while waiting for your children at a scout meeting or some other activity.
  • 31. 3-Delegate  Delegate! Delegate! Delegate  Have a talk with the spouse and children. If they are willing to help in Islamic work, the whole family will benefit in the long run. It may take some persistence and a little tenacity, but family can get involved.  The kids can get a reward at the end of the week for helping. One can take them out for dinner for helping out.
  • 32. 4-Hired Help  If you can afford it, hire a secretarial help or someone to help with house chores.  One could hire a high-school or college-aged person to come in and help.
  • 33. 5-Re-evaluate Your Standards.  One must re evaluate the standards of living one has adopted and decide if one really needs to put lot of time in maintaining it.  Is it possible to live with less and hence spend more time with the family rather than long hours at work or doing multiple jobs.  Look at the lifestyle of those who have less than you.  Do not envy the lifestyle of those who have more than you.
  • 34. 6- Plan Quality Time  It is best to schedule family time and time with spouse and kids on daily basis.  It's important for marriage and children's wellbeing that time is spent together in unhurried, leisure activities. They don't have to be all-day events.
  • 35. 7- Dua And those who pray "Our Lord! grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous Furqan,25:74
  • 36. To Download this and other slides, please visit: WWW.Slideshare.Net/DrYunus