1) Jonathan has started modeling to earn money and meet new people after the death of his parents. 2) Mitch and Andromeda think they may be having another baby after Orion correctly predicts Andromeda's pregnancy. 3) Lucky continues having trouble transitioning friendships with girls into relationships.

1. Well, hi there! Good to see you again! As you can see, Colin has vastly improves his
look, and Lee has moved in as promised. As you can see, Colin and Andrew have the
same opinion of Lee’s transitional appearance as I do. Let’s give him a minute to fix that.
(awkward, tuneless humming to fill the silence)
Um, I’m still working through the backlog of pictures I’ve go, and obviously there are
still some plumbbobs in evidence. I’ve tried to keep these to a minimum.
(with poorly concealed relief) Oh good, Lee’s all changed. Let’s rejoin our
story…Already in Progress…

2. LEE: Hey there. You’re looking good. Love the blonde.
COLIN: Yeah, I kinda thought you would. (disappointed) But you washed out the purple.
LEE: I started having an allergic reaction to the coloring. Don’t worry, though. I know
you like dyed hair and jewelry, and if I can’t give you the one, I’ll give you the other. I
have a new piercing.
COLIN: No you don’t.
LEE: I never said it was in my face, now, did I?

3. COLIN: Oh.
LEE: Wanna see?
COLIN: Hoh yeah.

4. LEE: Hey! Andy! Good to see you! How’ve you been?
ANDREW: Do I really want to know why you’re walking around in your underwear at
two in the afternoon?
LEE: Probably not.
ANDREW (to himself): Esme, I can’t wait til I move out.
Well, it looks like the two older boys are adjusting to (or repressing) the situation with
their parents relatively well. How is the youngest son, sole heir, and discoverer or the
bodies doing? What did he decide to do?

5. What he decided to do was head off to college, getting a new start in a new place and
leaving his parents behind. His professors were generally quite understanding about his
dyslexia and would let him record lectures and take his exams orally. There was even
decent voice-recognition software available in the computer lab for when he needed to
write papers.
It's a real pity it doesn't work so well for mathematical symbols.

6. His brothers weren't so sure college was a good idea, and called to check on him
regularly.
JONATHAN: Yeah, Colin, I'm doing great. I've made lots of friends already, and I'm
having a great time.

7. But in fact, Jonathan Littledragon was not great. No, he was not. He spent hours
pretending to study, to impress the other people in the dorm. This might have worked
better if he hadn't held the book upside down.

8. He tried to learn the xylophone trick. Unsuccessfully.

9. He played endless hours of chess against Mr. Nobody.

10. He also cleaned a surprising amount. Pop psychology would say that he was trying to
cleanse himself of the taint of his parents’ death. Maybe he was. I was an art major, so
what would I know?
SOMEONE: You know the guy in Room 8? There's something not quite right about him.
I mean, who voluntarily cleans a toilet?
SOMEONE ELSE: Yeah, but he's cute. You know what I heard, though? (whispers)
SOMEONE: No!
Far be it from me to encourage tawdry gossip. At least, not if I’ve heard it already. Let’s
move on.

11. This, of course, is the limo coming to take Francois and guest to the Gutentagen Awards
banquet. Francois is winning a special lifetime achievement “Gootie” for becoming a
Media Mogul and Permaplat at one and the same time. Although Francois has several
girlfriends who would love to go, he’s taking the most important person in his life
instead.

12. Who, incidentally, he will never be able to deny. (The glasses are medically necessary to
balance out those cheekbones.)
I don’t know if you’ve noticed that I don’t take very many birthday pictures? I figure you
see one, you’ve seen ‘em all, and pretty much everyone gets a post-transition makeover
status proboscis anyway, so they wouldn’t help much. Let me know if that bothers you.

13. FRANCOIS (calling): Robin, are you making faces at yourself in the mirror again?
Robin?
ROBIN: Oh no, what's that?

14. FRANCOIS (calling): Robin, the car’s here! Come on, where are you?
ROBIN: Coming, Mr. Dad!
Robin is not fashion-challenged. He is filthy rich. This means that in two weeks,
everyone will be sporting the preppy-dork look at all sorts of formal events.
I find banquets of any sort to be excruciatingly boring, so we’ll skip it.

15. Oh Esme! Who did this? What is this? It smells like pee!

16. There’s the culprit, right there.
The one with four legs, I mean. Both Marcel and Zeeshan have been housebroken for
several years now.
But Snuggles is a bit of a doofus and doesn’t exactly learn quickly. And of course, now
that she’s older, it’ll be that much harder to teach her new tricks. And speaking of getting
older…

17. …Rosalie’s gone and done it too. I think she looks pretty good, especially considering
who one of her fathers is. But then, Marcel was pretty okay-looking until he went to
college. That was when his face kinda exploded.

18. Tonight Rosie is cooking dinner. She’s a good cook. Cassie’s job is to entertain their
guest. She’s a good hostess. The girls get home earlier than their dads, so they often are
in charge of making dinner.

19. Dinner is pretty typical.
CASSIE: Please, DadZee, why can’t I get my eyebrow pierced like you?
ZEESHAN: Not til you’re in college.
CASSIE: But I want to get it pierced now!
ZEESHAN: When you’re in college, you can do whatever you want. Not before then.
CASSIE: Oh come on…Please can I get an eyebrow ring?
ZEESHAN: Sure. Buy all the eyebrow rings you feel like.
CASSIE (delighted): Really?
ZEESHAN: Really. But you still can’t get your eyebrow pierced until you’re in college.

20. Followed by the typical after-dinner pillow fight. There’s nothing like a good pillow fight
to aid digestion and burn calories.
Why don’t we complete the set of people who have had birthdays?

21. HUNTER: Yeah, Mom, I don’t understand it either.
HUNTER: No, Aren’s pretty Outgoing. More than Pete or me, that’s for sure.

22. HUNTER (V.O.): And he had a good time at Kitty’s party, I know he did.

23. HUNTER (V.O.): He just didn’t want a party this time.
Isn’t Aren turning out interesting? I know a lot of people would make comments about
the nose, or the length of the jaw, or something, but I personally tend to prefer the non-
Barbie-doll looking Sims.

24. LYDIA BECKETT: Well, hey there, kitty cat. You wanna jump?
Well, hey there yourself. You came home with Aren…are you girlfriend material?
KITTY: No.
Well, I guess we’ll just…Wait, what?
KITTY: I said no.
You can still hear me?
KITTY: Duh.
But you’re not a toddler anymore. Or an alien.
KITTY (annoyed): No-oo. Anyway, Lydia came over about the new Gay/Straight
Alliance they’re starting at school. Aren’s the straight half.
So –
KITTY: So Lydia’s not girlfriend material.
(speechless)
AREN: Who are you talking to, squirt?

25. KITTY: Oh, you know. The hidden force behind everything we do.
AREN: You mean Esme? Or Iolanthe?
KITTY: Not hardly.
AREN (affectionately): You’re a weird little kid, you know that?
KITTY (happily): I know.

26. Jon’s second year started off a little better. For one thing, he started winning a few chess
games.

27. Okay, he was still playing against Mr. Nobody, but at least he wasn't losing every single
time.

28. He was going to master the xylophone trick any day now.
Really.

29. And the world was filled with pretty girls.
Any one of whom, Jon was sure, would run screaming in the opposite direction as soon
as he introduced himself. Who wants to date the son of a murderer?

30. But it was a girl who finally made the first move. Although only a mother would call her
pretty.
EMMY SCOTT: Hey, you're Andy Littledragon's brother, right?
JONATHAN: Yeah...
EMMY: I knew him a little when he was here. Cool guy. I was real sorry to hear about
your parents. I mean, I didn't know they were yours when you got here, I just thought you
liked to keep yourself to yourself...
JONATHAN: Thanks.
EMMY: So, uh, I was actually gonna talk to you before I knew you were Andy's
brother...

31. EMMY: Listen, this is gonna sound a bit strange, but have you ever considered
modeling?
JONATHAN: Huh?
EMMY: You know, standing there and letting people take your picture? Only I'm a photo
major, and I landed this job shooting the new brochure for the university, and I can use
some candids, but they want a Joe College for a lot of the pictures and I'm thinking you're
an attractive guy, clean-cut, you'd photograph well...
JONATHAN: Do you know what my...father...did?
EMMY: Yeah. You're still good-looking. You could always use a stage name or
something if you're worried... Or just go with the one name, like Madonna. C’mon, what
d’ya say?
JONATHAN: ...I'll think about it.
And speaking of thinking…

32. It looks like Mitch is thinking about ho well he gets along with his wife.
(Andromeda snorts and starts making waking-up noises)
Oh crap. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake her.

33. ANDROMEDA: What? What’s wrong?
MITCH: Nothing. I just like watching you sleep.
ANDROMEDA: Well, I certainly do enough of that recently. (yawns) I can’t think
what’s wrong with me.
MITCH: Your dad’s got an interesting theory about that, actually…

34. ORION: We’re going to have another grandbaby.
MARIE: Andromeda told you that?
ORION: She didn’t have to. I have my sources.
MARIE: So you’re psychic now?
ORION: Far from it. But I bet you a dollar anyway. No – make it five.
MARIE: You’re on.

35. ANDROMEDA: But how did he know? I’m not even sure yet.
MITCH: I don’t know. Your dad knows a lot, though.
ANDROMEDA: Are you okay with this? With a baby?
MITCH: With a mini-Percy running around the place? How could I not be? I’m going to
have a whole family for the first time ever!
Mitch grew up in an orphanage, so even though he’s Popularity, the thought of real live
relatives is very attractive.
And speaking of attractive…

36. …Stacey seems to have forgiven Toby. It helped that he was able to provide medical
documentation of a rare inner-ear condition that produces violent nausea when he turns
quickly.

37. Lucky has made friends with a number of nice girls.

38. But every time he tries to become more than just friends, this is what happens.
RANDOM IDIOTIC GIRL: You’re a nice guy, Lucky. Too nice for me. Have you ever
considered dating your friend Adrian?
LUCKY: But I’m not interested in him!
And he’s not interested in Lucky. But he is interested in the other Miller boy.

39. BYRON: Mom, the tree’s on fire again!
(This is a recurring problem, actually. The stupid tree gets struck by lightning two or
three times per thunderstorm and sometimes burns for days.)

40. YVONNE: That’s it, boys. The weather’s too bad for you to go home. Byron, Lucky, set
up the camp bed. Adrian and Stephen will take your beds for the night.
ADRIAN ST. JULIEN: Thank you, Mrs. Miller.
YVONNE: You’re welcome. And it’s Dr. Miller, by the way.

41. ADRIAN: Hey, Byron, thanks for giving up your bed for me.
BYRON: Uh – no. I don’t do that mushy, touching-people stuff.
ADRIAN: But –
BYRON: You’re welcome. I have to brush my teeth. Good night.
(Byron beats a hasty retreat)

42. ADRIAN: I am so glad the weather is rotten. I really think this will bring Byron and me
closer together.
STEPHEN BUCKINGHAM: He’s not interested. Get used to it.
ADRIAN: No, really. He’s Spock, I’m Kirk – it’s destiny!
STEPHEN: Uh, you do know that Kirk was a raging heterosexual, don’t you?
Yes, Adrian St. Julien is doomed to disappointment. Not so Emmy Scott.

43. JONATHAN: Okay.
EMMY: Okay?
JONATHAN: I'll pose for you. What do I need to do?
EMMY: Hmmm. First let's fix those clothes. Then we'll...do some light readings. I can't
pay you much but I'll swap you head shots for your portfolio...Actually, let's start with
those, then I can find your best angles for the brochure...
JONATHAN: Okay, I guess.

44. JONATHAN: So what do I do? Just stand here like this?
EMMY (concentrating on light readings): Uh-huh.
JONATHAN: It's chilly.
EMMY: You've got a jacket. (raises the camera) Smile.
JONATHAN: I am smiling.
EMMY: Not like that. Show me confident. Sexy. Big Man on Campus.

45. And before you knew it, Jon was confidently discussing the finer points of photography
and modeling with his peers.

46. CARMEN PONS: I think it's so great that you're coming out and finding a place where
you can belong. It's made you so much more confident. All the really hot male models
are gay, so you're gonna fit right in.
JONATHAN: Coming out? Oh, no no no, I'm not gay.
CARMEN: You must be, or you'd've tried to hit on me by now. Cause let's face it, I'm
hot.
JONATHAN: I know.
CARMEN: Oh, now you're just saying that.

47. JONATHAN: No. I'm not.

48. Yes, things were looking up for Jonathan. He won some chess games and lost some chess
games, but now he had a real opponent.
EMMY: Are you sure you want to do that?
JONATHAN: Yes.
EMMY: I hate you.

49. He even mastered the xylophone trick, after nearly three years of steady practice.
XYLOPHONE: dink dink a dink-dink
JONATHAN (singing): Two bits!

50. Work on the brochure continued apace.
EMMY: Hey, that's great! I didn't know you could do that! Can you do it again? Only
this time, don't look so serious...
JONATHAN: I'll try. (drops drumstick in face) Ow!
EMMY: Okay, don't throw them, just play the drums and look flirty. Can you give me a
flirty smile? Right here at the camera. Just pretend I'm Carmen.
And speaking of Carmen…

51. CARMEN: Does oo wuv me snooky-ookums?
JONATHAN: Yes.
CARMEN: Yes? I doesn't fink so. I fink snooky-ookums doesn't weally wuv me.
JONATHAN: I do love you.
CARMEN: Oo wuvs me? Does snooky-ookums weally wuv his dearums?
JONATHAN: Es, snooky-ookums weally weally wuvs his dearums.
EVERYONE ELSE IN THE DORM: GET A ROOM ALREADY!
Somebody bring me a barf bag. I'm going to be sick.

52. EMMY: There, that wasn't so bad now, was it?
JONATHAN: Nah. It was kinda fun actually. Except for the Speedo. You want to go get
a coffee or something to celebrate?
EMMY: I could go for dinner...Can we drop the camera equipment at the dorm first?

53. Jon and Emmy had a good time at dinner. They usually had a good time together. And
they spoke in complete sentences and didn't make anybody sick to their stomachs.

54. JONATHAN: Listen, Emmy, thanks for everything. I'd still be lonely without you.
EMMY: Jon...
JONATHAN: Oh snap! That's my brother's ex. The crazy one, I mean. I'll see you later,
okay?
EMMY: ...Sure...

55. COLIN: Andy, come on, let’s go.
LEE: We’re going to be late.
ANDREW: I just want to be sure I look all right. Anyway, It can’t start without me.
COLIN: You look fine.
LEE (at the same time): No, but she could decide you aren’t coming and call it off.
ANDREW (panicked): Opal wouldn’t do that, would she?
COLIN: No.
LEE (simultaneously): Yes.
COLIN: Well, she won’t if you hurry up. Let’s go.

56. But despite the fussing of certain Popularity Sims, Andrew was exactly on time, and Opal
did not call off the wedding. Perhaps more importantly, at least in Colin and Lee’s
opinion, the party wasn’t called off either.

57. Opal McAuley is now Opal Littledragon. This is the first thing Andrew and Opal did as
husband and wife.
Because, of course, what’s a wedding party without a pillow fight?

58. Or some slow dancing. This is my first ever slow dance spin. (In the Sims, I mean. In real
life I get spun quite a bit.)
COLIN: So – you wanna have one of these someday?
LEE: One of whats?
COLIN: A party like this.
LEE: Yeah, see, the problem with a party like this is that you actually have to get married
or it’s a Snoozer.
COLIN: Oh, well, forget that then.

59. It really was a good party, and it lasted well into the night. Aside from the cake-stuffing,
there’s something else worth noting in this picture.
DANIEL LEW: Excuse me, Mr. Littledragon – have you ever considered modeling
professionally? Because I’d like to be your agent.
JONATHAN: Do you really think I’d be any good at it? I mean, I’ve done some stuff at
school…
DANIEL LEW: Look, here’s my card. Call me on Monday and we’ll set up an
appointment to look at your portfolio. But – no offense – you might want to consider
dropping the last name for professional reasons. What do you think of “Jon”?

60. JONATHAN: Congratulations, Andy! I know you and Opal are going to be very happy.
ANDREW: And what about you, little bro? Are you happy?
JONATHAN: Oh yeah! Life is perfect!

61. Of course, things couldn't stay perfect forever...
CARMEN: What do you think you're doing?
EMMY: Playing pool? I don't understand the question...
CARMEN: What do you think you're doing with my snooky-ookums?
EMMY: Oh Esme, spare me. He's my friend. He posed for some pictures for me. I help
him with his portfolio. End of story.
CARMEN: You think he's hot. I heard you say it.
EMMY: Of course I think he's hot. So do ninety percent of the other women and ten
percent of the men on campus. He's not interested in me.

62. CARMEN: Oh, of course he isn't – who would be interested in an old lady with a face
like a baboon's butt?
EMMY: What did you just call me?
CARMEN: I called you a Baboon-Butt Face!
EMMY: Oh, you are going down!

63. JONATHAN: I heard you and Carmen had a fight. What was it about?
EMMY: Oh, I don't know...You know, people argue over nothing sometimes...
JONATHAN: I heard you guys were throwing punches.
EMMY: ...Maybe...
JONATHAN: Why?
EMMY: ...Sometimes when people make fun of me I kinda see red, you know...?
JONATHAN (dead serious): What did she say?

64. JONATHAN: You had no right to say those things to Emmy!
CARMEN: Psssht – they're true. She's a seven-year senior, so she's old. And she is ugly.
Comparing her face to a baboon's butt was a compliment!
JONATHAN: How can you say such horrible things about anyone? I don't think I want
anything to do with you anymore.
563ee710 11/30
CARMEN: You're dumping me for that? I can't believe I thought I could put up with you
for the money. You're as crazy as your father!
JONATHAN (cold. no, frigid. no, gelid.): You leave my parents out of this.
CARMEN: Well, go ahead, take the monkey-faced freak! And when you put her down in
a couple years, it'll be an act of mercy!

65. EMMY: That was sweet, Jon, but you didn't have to break up with her because of what
she said to me. People say things to me all the time. Sometimes I can't take it, that's all...
JONATHAN: It's okay. She said some things about...my parents, and...I'm better off
without her. At least I found out before it was too late. (deep breath) But Emmy, what
she said about you – it wasn't true. I don't think any of it's true. I don't think you're old, or
– I mean, you're my best friend, and – I think –
EMMY: You really are sweet, Jon. Thanks for trying. That means a lot to me. (pats hand
maternally) Have you heard anything from that agent you met at Andy's wedding?
Well, that is a change of subject if ever I heard one. And I can take a hint if it’s broad
enough. So.

66. There appears to be some sort of conspiracy going on here. (hopefully) Does anybody
want to tell me what it is?
CASSIE: Nope!
(Cassie and Rosie explode in giggles)

67. Okay, so it involves dressing up and cleaning thoroughly. Come on, Cassie, one little
hint?
CASSIE: Nope!

68. MARCEL: I’m home!
MARCEL: Hello? Girls?
MARCEL: (sigh) I remember when they used to run out to meet me…

69. CASSIE and ROSIE: Surprise!
CASSIE: Happy birthday, DadMar!
ROSIE: Blow out the candles so we can have some cake!
CASSIE: Is that all you think about? Food?
ROSIE: Food’s important!
MARCEL (choked up): Girls, I – Thank you. Thank you so much. Uh…you don’t have
anything like this planned for DadZee, do you?
CASSIE: No, we know he doesn’t like birthdays.

70. ROSIE (V.O.): We’re just going to save him some cake.
CASSIE (V.O.): What is it with you and cake?
ROSIE (V.O.): What? I’m hungry!

71. ZEESHAN: Did you enjoy your party?
MARCEL: Yes. It was really sweet of the girls to think of it. I love that kind of surprise,
even if you don’t.
ZEESHAN: I’m not really into birthdays. Is that what you grew up into?
MARCEL: Oh, heck no! You’re never getting to see that outfit, either. And I’ve sworn
the girls to secrecy. It made me look like an old man.
ZEESHAN: You’re not an old man. But you are married to one.
MARCEL: I don’t think you’re old.
ZEESHAN: Well, I’m not so old that I can’t still (whispers in Marcel’s ear)
MARCEL: I love it when you talk like that!
…Let’s leave them alone, shall we?

72. JON: What's wrong, Emmy?
EMMY: When you said dinner I didn't know you meant somewhere like this. I can't even
take my coat off – I'll be too underdressed...Look at what you're wearing...
JON: This? It's from the shoot today. They said I could keep it. You're perfect no matter
what you wear.
EMMY: Please don't make fun of me, Jon.
JON: I'm not!

73. JON: But I am proposing a toast. To the woman who gave me my start – I'd be working
fast food if it wasn't for her.
EMMY: So you have an agent now?
JON: I have an agent! And he's already gotten me shoots with Llamawear and Melvin
Stein.
EMMY: Jon! That's wonderful!

74. EMMY: I had a really good time tonight, Jon. I know you're just being nice, but...Thanks.
You're a good friend.
JON: Is that all I am?
EMMY: ...Isn't it?
JON: I was kind of hoping that a nice romantic restaurant and some slow dancing would
maybe give you a hint that I just might be interested in more than friendship. What'll it
take?
EMMY: I don't know. Maybe if you kissed me...?

75. JON: Like this?
EMMY: Mm-hmm.
JON (breathless): I think we should maybe...go somewhere else?
EMMY: Mm-hmm.

76. And go somewhere else they did.

77. JON: So Emmy, what do you think about...commitment?
EMMY: Like in an Asylum? I'd hate to be surrounded by uncontrollable idiots like that
and besides, I'm terrified of fires...
JON: No, like, um, marriage?
EMMY: To Brad Pitt? Nah, I hear he never brushes his teeth. Course, I hear John Cusack
never takes a bath, so...
JON: No, to me?
EMMY: You're sweet, Jon. And after you spent a few years hanging around beautiful
women you'd regret it. Let's just have fun and stay friends, 'kay?

78. EMMY (to herself): It'll hurt less that way when you leave.
Credit where credit is due: Carmen's baby talk is heavily based on the baby talk Connie
Willis wrote in her madcap, hilarious novel To Say Nothing of the Dog, or How We
Found the Bishop's Bird Stump at Last. Run, don't walk, to your local library and check it
out today.
This concludes all the pre-written schtuff. (I admit to improving some of the previously
published material.) I still have a huge backlog of pictures, but everything from now on
will be never-before-seen, never-before-heard shiny new goodness! Aren’t you excited?
See you next time!