Bertie McClellan is participating in a polyamory challenge where he must court and fall in love with multiple sims. He moves his boyfriend Corey and girlfriend Vanessa into his home. Corey is unhappy about sharing Bertie with Vanessa, causing arguments. Bertie apologizes profusely to Corey and Vanessa to try to smooth things over. The relationships remain complicated as Bertie balances caring for multiple partners.

1. Hello there, and welcome to Everybody Loves Bertie, a Polyamory Project Challenge
starring Bertram McClellan.
I did not invent the Polyamory Project. Full credit for that goes to princedeej28. You can
find the original post and the full rules linked on the Table of Contents page, but I’ll give
you a quick summary.
1. Take a Romance Sim.
2. Have him or her court and fall in love with as many Sims as you think you can
handle.
3. Move them all in together.
4. Attempt to keep all relationships good and everyone happy.
5. Keep track of your points and attempt to earn enough to make Hugh Hefner
jealous.
The challenge is supposed to run for seven generations, but I can’t be bothered, so it will
run for the Adult and Elder lifetime of one Sim.

2. Meet Bertram McClellan – Bertie to his friends. Bertie is from my wildly popular story
Already in Progress, available in the Fictional Stories forum over at Boolprop.
[/shameless self-promotion]
Bertie was the cover model for Chapter 12 of that story, although he’s grown a bit since
then.

3. This is what Bertie looks like now.
He’s the one on the right.
One final note: This will be more documentary than plotty. I couldn’t plot my way out of
a paper bag, and I’m not sure the nature of the challenge lends itself to much plot
anyway. There’s a reasonable chance of melodrama and/or histrionics, though.
Are you ready? Then let’s get started!

4. In college, Bertie had two girlfriends and two boyfriends. The first boyfriend is (was? no,
they’re still a couple…) Corey Jeffress, aka Architecture Guy.
Bertie also had a number of friends-who-are-girls and friends-who-are-boys. I don’t have
ACR, but he seems to maintain his own Friend Zone anyway. I have never seen him
make an advance towards someone who was spoken for.

5. Corey wasn’t exactly happy about Bertie’s other “special friends,” but he moved in
anyway. He seems to like Bertie pretty well.

6. The first girlfriend was (is? tenses when talking about past that continues into the present
are so confusing…) Vanessa Adams.

7. BERTIE: Cowey, I’d wike you to meet Vanessa. Vanessa, this is Cowey.
COREY: Hi, Vanessa. I remember you from some of Bertie’s parties.
VANESSA: He throws a good party, doesn’t he? And he’s got good taste. I mean,
obviously he likes blondes with ponytails.
COREY (absolutely unamused): Eh heh heh heh heh heh.
VANESSA: Heh heh… Um.

8. BERTIE: Vanessa’s going to move in with us, Cowey!
COREY: Is she now.
BERTIE (oblivious): Yup! We’we going to have a gweat time! I think you two are
weawwy going to get awong.

9. I don’t think I mentioned it yet, but Bertie has a bit of a speech impediment. He also
makes great faces.
Vanessa’s no slouch in that arena herself.

10. You can’t see the red hearts, but this made them fall in love. I really think I should get
more than five points for that.

11. On the other hand, it only takes 200 points to make Hugh Hefner jealous, and I’ve
already got 100. I wouldn’t want to beat the top score by too many orders of magnitude.
That would just be embarrassing for princedeej28.

12. Oh.
Whoops.

13. See? I told you Bertie made great faces. You’ve gotta feel sorry for him.
I’d tell you what Corey’s saying, but it’s not exactly suitable for sensitive and refined
persons such as yourself.
I think his father was in the Navy, actually…

14. VANESSA: Corey, I am so, so sorry! I thought you were okay with me, Bertie, you,
and… uh… Anyway, I didn’t mean to upset you, I really didn’t.
COREY: There’s a difference between dating and a hot tub.
VANESSA: Yes, I know, and I’m sorry! And, um, the bed only sleeps two…
COREY: Bertie’s and your portraits are both bright red. I’m taking the other bedroom.
VANESSA: I’m really sorry, Corey. Maybe in the morning I could go buy some
strawberries…?
I’m pretty sure that would be cheating.
COREY: Yeah, what she said. You can just apologize endlessly instead.
VANESSA: Wait – what who said?
COREY: Good night, Vanessa.

15. Apologies were the order of the day for the next few days.
BERTIE: Cowey, I apowogize! I thought we’d tawked about – about stuff.
COREY: “Stuff” like Vanessa?
BERTIE: Yes, stuff wike Vanessa. Wemembew that one pawty seniow yeaw, when I
intwoduced you to Wobewt…?
COREY: Yes, I remember Robert. And Carmen, too. But I thought you were only going
to date them. You moved Vanessa in.
BERTIE: I nevew meant to huwt you, Cowey! Nevew! Pwease bewieve me! It’s just –
How can anyone wuv just one pewson, when evewyone has so many wonderfuw
chawactewistics?
COREY: You could try.
BERTIE: I have twied. I just can’t. Pwease, Cowey, what can I do to make things wight
between us? (with a catch in his throat) I don’t want to make you unhappy. If you want
to weave, you – (deep breath) You can weave. If that’s what you need to be happy. I
want you to be happy. (in a heartbroken whisper) But oh Esme, Cowey, I wuv you so
much…
COREY: Well, what’s the minimum number of people you can manage with?
BERTIE (hardly daring to hope): Cowey…?
COREY: I’m not saying everything’s okay, because it isn’t. But we can work on this.
(softly) I love you too, Bertie – that’s why it hurts so deeply.

16. If you’ve been following Already in Progress you can skip the next paragraph…
In addition to collecting boyfriends and girlfriends in college, Bertie was in a band called
Katy And The Greeks. Katy left the band senior year “due to creative differences.” (That
sounds better than “because Bertie made one advance too many” and saves face all
around.) The other two guys in the band, Gerard Sanders and Zenon Rudelansky, decided
that since Bertie had chased away their lead singer, it was only fair for him to take her
place.
Having a cute green-skinned man sing songs that were clearly written for a woman is
apparently a formula for success. Following a gig one night, a wealthy gentleman
approached the band and offered to become their patron. There was a bit of embarrassing
confusion all around, mostly due to Bertie’s having read one too many romance novels
set in nineteenth-century ballet companies, but as it turned out, the gentleman had no
ulterior motives. He simply thought that Prince of Charming (the band’s name that week)
was so good that they should focus all their time and effort on making music, instead of
worrying about jobs and bills and so forth. To that end, he paid for them to move out of
their mother’s houses and into a house of their own, one big enough to fit everyone’s
significant others, to say nothing of the dog.

17. Bertie is perhaps the most upset about the move. Mansions are all very well and good, but
this is the home where he was born, where he grew up, and where his parents both died.

18. But I’m sure it will all be okay.
CASSIE: Be well, Bertie. Be happy. I’ll be with you wherever you go.
Cassie was (is?) Bertie’s mother.
CASSIE: So hurry up and move already! I always wondered what it would be like to live
in a mansion.
Which is all there is for this installment. We’ll just be hitting the high points here. I don’t
anticipate other chapters being longer by too much. “Kissing +5” gets pretty repetitive,
and so does “I’m so so so sorry, really I am!”

19. Score for this round
Move in # 1: 20
Move in # 2: 40
Woohoo: 30
Kissing x 2: 10
Got caught: -40
TOTAL: 60
(But I’m not sure if that woohoo really counts, since nobody else lived there at the time.)
Relationship standings (Daily/Lifetime)
Corey > Vanessa: 78/-25. Portrait is 1/2 red. Friends.
Corey > Bertie: 17/-34. Portrait is just under 3/4 red.
Bertie > Corey: 100/93. Portrait is 1/8 red. Crush and love.
Bertie > Vanessa: 94/94. Portrait is clear. Crush and love.
Vanessa > Corey: 98/25. Portrait is clear. Friends.
Vanessa > Bertie: 97/97. Portrait is clear. Crush and love.
Until next time, Happy Simming!