This document discusses different types of love and relationships. It defines eros (passionate love), ludus (game-playing love), storge (friendship-based love), pragma (practical love), mania (obsessive love), and agape (selfless love). It provides examples of movies that portray each type of love and discusses factors that influence attraction and relationship development, such as proximity, similarity, self-disclosure, and relationship styles.

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2015
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4.  There is no one definition
 We know it when we see it, feel it, hear it,
experience it.
 It is a divine attribute, an energy a force that
surrounds us, jus like gravity.
 It is free and the more you give the more you
get.

6.  I WILL ONLY FEEL WHOLE AND COMPLETE WITH
HER/HIM
 LOVE CONQUERS ALL
 There is only one true love or soul mate for you.
 Love occurs when it’s “love at first sight.”
 You will be completely fulfilled in every way.
Powerful sexual chemistry equals love.
 IF WE REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER NOTHING CAN
BREAK US APART
 LOVE COMES AND STAYS AUTOMATICALLY, WE
DON’T HAVE TO WORK AT IT.
 MY LOVE WILL FILL MY VOIDS, MY NEEDS AND MY
INSECURITIES

10.  Highly passionate, sexual, &
intense
 Often Believe in:
 Love as Magical
 Love as fate
 Love at first sight
 Very “American”
 Movie: Titanic / Romeo and Juliet /
Ghosts / Sweet Home Alabama /
Natural Born Killers / Princess Bride /
Sleepless in Seattle / Snow White,
Sleeping Beauty & Cinderella
 Hollywood loves eros love!

12.  The “Players” love
 Will often:
 Keep their passions in check
 Avoid trouble and intensity
 Feel uncomfortable about commitment
 Keep secrets
 Have affairs
 Remember, we all have a little ludus
in us
 When a relationship gets too intense
(or is no longer fun), they leave
 Movie: Great Expectations / St. Elmo’s
Fire / Cruel Intentions / Dangerous
Liaisons
 Hollywood’s Formula: Ludus plays with
Eros--Eros is crushed

13.  Peaceful and slow
 Not passionate and intense
 Friendship is key
 Difficult to separate from friendships
 This love . . .
 Develops over time
 Endures long periods of inactivity or
excitement
 Lacks the heat of eros and the games of
ludus
 Movie: Harry Met Sally / The Wedding
Singer / My Best Friends Wedding /
Shrek / You’ve Got Mail / Beauty and
the Beast / 2 Weeks Notice / How To
Lose A Guy / Tootsie

15.  Practical
 Looking for “types”
 Parents, $, race, nationality,
family, etc.
 Love is logical & More stable
 Not magical, but rational
 Movie: Pretty Woman / Bridges of
MC / As Good As It Gets /
Shakespeare in Love / Big Fat
Greek Wedding / Grease / Maid in
Manhattan / Notting Hill
 Hollywood Formula: Woman settles for
pragma love--but is unhappy

16.  Extreme highs and lows
 Jealousy
 Obsessive
 Self-worth comes from the
relationship
 Nothing else matters
 Movie: Fatal Attraction /
Something About Mary / American
Beauty / The Crush / Memento /
Taxi Driver / Swim Fan
 Hollywood Formula: slashing
tires, stalking, going into exile,
drinking, etc..

18.  This love is . . .
 Compassionate
 Selfless
 Egoless
 No concern for personal
reward or gain
 Want the best for the other
person
 Movie: Forrest Gump /
Man Love a Women / John
Q / Casablanca /

20. Thought Frequency As Pie Charts
Men
thrashing
Aging
Having
to pee
Things we
shouldn’t
have eaten
Food
Pets
Sex
The
relationship
Women
Sports
The
relationship
Sex
Men
Going
bald
Aging
Strange ear
& nose hair
growthCareer

23. Consummate
Commitment
Liking
Passion
Romantic
Intimacy
Companionate
Fatuous
Infatuate Empty
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
(Intimacy &
Passion)
(Intimacy &
Commitment)
(Passion &
Commitment)

25. Intimac
y
Passion Commitment
Non-Love x x x
Liking  x x
Infatuated x  x
Empty x x 
Romantic   x
Companionat
e
 x 
Fatuous x  
Consummate   
Sternberg’s 8 Components of Love

27. Attraction
Communication/
consolidation
Buildup
Ending
Deterioration
and decline
Relationship
continues
Triggering
factors:
Proximity,
Similarity, Erotic
love etc…
Social-exchange and
equity: Communication,
Self-disclosure, Communal
concern, External
supports
Social-exchange and
equity/inequity: Relative
attractiveness of
alternatives, Barriers to
dissolution
Important
variables
influencing
attraction
Emotion
Low:
Relationship
in stable
state
High: Heady
feeling of
romantic
High: Upset of
deterioration and
trauma of
disruption
The life cycle
of a
relationship

29.  Factors that increase attraction
 Proximity – people you know or see often
 Similarity – background, values, attitudes
 Physical Attraction – “matching hypothesis”
 Personality – openness, sociability, humor
 Economic Resources – especially in men
 Mutual Attraction and Love
 Ideal qualities are consistent across gender,
culture, and sexual orientation

32.  Study comparing 37 cultures (Buss, 1989)
 Men valued “good looks” in their partner
 Women valued “good financial prospect” in their
partner
 Men preferred younger partners
 Women preferred older partners

34.  Self-disclosure is important
 Those who value intimacy tend to be more
trusting, concerned for others, disclose more,
have more positive thoughts about others, are
perceived as more likable, smile, laugh, make
more eye contact, and enjoy marriage more

36.  1. Physical Style (appearance, personal fitness, and
hygiene)
 2. Emotional Style (attitude toward romance,
affectionate, supportive, faithful)
 3. Intellectual Style (educational background, enjoys
learning, attitude toward world affairs, creativity)
 4. Social Style (personality traits, interaction with
others, sense of humor)
 5. Sexual Style (enjoys sex, likes to cuddle, easily
aroused with no hang-ups)
 6. Communication Style (verbally articulate, good
listener, attitude toward communication, expresses
thoughts and feelings)

39.  7. Spiritual Style (believes in God or higher
power, has moral views, open to the mystical
and different philosophies of life, compassionate
toward less fortunate)
 8. Personal Growth Style (attitude toward self-
improvement, wants to learn about self and
change for the better, sees own shortcomings,
attends seminars)
 9. Financial Style (relationship with money,
attitude toward success, hard worker, ambitious
career, honest and ethical, financially
responsible)
 10. Interests and Hobbies (enjoys music, dance,
movies, travel, or whatever you are interested
in).