A humorous look at marketing
     The different flavors of marketing


         Javed Mohammed
          k2film@live.com
Warning
• This presentation requires a sense of humor. If
  you are easily offended this is not for you. It
  leverages work of others and some addition
  from myself.
                      Enjoy
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I am very
         rich. Marry me!”




              That’s Direct Marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
 One of your friends goes up to her,
points at you and says, “He’s very rich.
             Marry him.”




                     That’s Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
 You go up to her and get her telephone
number. The next day you call and say, “Hi,
        I’m very rich. Marry me.”




                     That’s Telemarketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her
 and pour her a drink. You open the door for her; pick
up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then
 say, “By the way, I’m very rich. Will you marry me?”




                       That’s Public Relations
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
She walks up to you and says, “You are
              very rich.”




              That’s Brand Recognition
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
 You go up to her and say, “I’m very
rich. Marry me.” She gives you a nice
        hard slap to the face.




           That’s Customer Feedback
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “Let’s dance”. You show her
  the moves. You take her on unassuming dates on
   bicycle, talk a lot, dance some more. Slowly, she
  realizes you’re rich. By the time you say “Will you
        marry me?”, she’s been waiting for it.




                  That’s Content Marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “can you imagine the
  possibilities of a merger and acquisition.”




            That’s Anticipation marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You tell her best friend you’re rich
          and available.




       That’s word-of-mouth marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
   You go up to her and say,
   “Think of the possibilities”




    That’s Thought leadership
            marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
  You go up to her and say, “If I
could rearrange the alphabet, I'd
     put U and I together.”




       That’s pick-up marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
 You go up to her and say, Hi, I'm
“_______”, I thought we should at
 least have a conversation before
         we get married”



               That’s social marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “Are you
 a parking ticket? Because you've
  got FINE written all over you.”




           That’s in-your face marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
   You go up to her and say, “
Do you have any raisins? No? How
         about a date?”




           That’s stealth marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
    You go up to her and say,
 “Did the sun come up or did you
        just smile at me?”




          That’s shadow marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
     You go up to her and say,
“Excuse me Miss, would you like to
drive across country and kill people
             with me?”




         That’s permission marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “You may fall from the
 sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way
          to fall... is in love with me.”




                   That’s cloud marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her mother and say,
 “I would be honored to have you
      as my mother-in-law.”



        That’s multi-level marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “Excuse
me, if I go straight this way, will I
  be able to reach your heart?”




            That’s guerilla marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
    You go up to her and say,
 “I must be a snowflake, because
       I've fallen for you.”



             That’s green marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
 You go up to her boyfriend and
              say,
   “someone’s looking for you
            outside.”




         That’s disruptive marketing
Please share this with your friends
   All images are from public domain and copyright of
                      respective owners.

   Text of Slides 2-8 from public domain (source unknown)
   Pick up lines: http://www.gotlines.com/lines/funny.php
             Rest of content by Javed Mohammed

                     A K2 Vista Project
                     k2film@live.com
                     Copyright 2012

A humorous look at marketing

  • 1.
    A humorous lookat marketing The different flavors of marketing Javed Mohammed k2film@live.com
  • 2.
    Warning • This presentationrequires a sense of humor. If you are easily offended this is not for you. It leverages work of others and some addition from myself. Enjoy
  • 3.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me!” That’s Direct Marketing
  • 4.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. One of your friends goes up to her, points at you and says, “He’s very rich. Marry him.” That’s Advertising.
  • 5.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” That’s Telemarketing
  • 6.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m very rich. Will you marry me?” That’s Public Relations
  • 7.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. She walks up to you and says, “You are very rich.” That’s Brand Recognition
  • 8.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m very rich. Marry me.” She gives you a nice hard slap to the face. That’s Customer Feedback
  • 9.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “Let’s dance”. You show her the moves. You take her on unassuming dates on bicycle, talk a lot, dance some more. Slowly, she realizes you’re rich. By the time you say “Will you marry me?”, she’s been waiting for it. That’s Content Marketing
  • 10.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “can you imagine the possibilities of a merger and acquisition.” That’s Anticipation marketing
  • 11.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You tell her best friend you’re rich and available. That’s word-of-mouth marketing
  • 12.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “Think of the possibilities” That’s Thought leadership marketing
  • 13.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.” That’s pick-up marketing
  • 14.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, Hi, I'm “_______”, I thought we should at least have a conversation before we get married” That’s social marketing
  • 15.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.” That’s in-your face marketing
  • 16.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “ Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?” That’s stealth marketing
  • 17.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?” That’s shadow marketing
  • 18.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “Excuse me Miss, would you like to drive across country and kill people with me?” That’s permission marketing
  • 19.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.” That’s cloud marketing
  • 20.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her mother and say, “I would be honored to have you as my mother-in-law.” That’s multi-level marketing
  • 21.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?” That’s guerilla marketing
  • 22.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.” That’s green marketing
  • 23.
    You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her boyfriend and say, “someone’s looking for you outside.” That’s disruptive marketing
  • 24.
    Please share thiswith your friends All images are from public domain and copyright of respective owners. Text of Slides 2-8 from public domain (source unknown) Pick up lines: http://www.gotlines.com/lines/funny.php Rest of content by Javed Mohammed A K2 Vista Project k2film@live.com Copyright 2012