This document provides guidance on helping children cope with the hospitalization of a family member. It recommends providing children with honest information about the hospitalization, encouraging them to ask questions and express their feelings, and giving direct answers to their questions. Specific suggestions include allowing children to help with preparation, keeping in contact daily, continuing normal activities, and preparing children for a hospital visit. The overall goals are to communicate openly and honestly with children and help them work through their feelings.

1. How to Help Children Cope with the Hospitalization of a Family Member
Provide children with complete and honest information.
Encourage children to ask questions and express their feelings.
Give honest, direct, and understandable answers to their questions.
Ways you can make a family member’s hospitalization easier to understand for children:
1. Be honest before, during and after the hospitalization.
2. Let the children know that it is okay to ask questions and talk about the hospitalization. Reassure them that if
you get upset and cry, that it is all right, too. They may be afraid to ask questions for fear of upsetting you. They
will turn to you for examples of appropriate behavior.
3. Allow children to help in the preparation and planning. Letting them help with packing and riding to the hospital
are examples. This also could be an opportunity for talking and answering questions.
4. If the hospital provides a tour for patients before hospitalization, allow the healthy children to attend also, if
possible.
5. If an emergency hospitalization occurs, explain it as soon as possible. Let them know how serious the illness or
injury is and how soon they can see the hospitalized patient.
6. Act out the hospital experience with people, dolls or puppets. Using puppets is a good way for children to share
feelings they may be uncomfortable saying otherwise.
7. Read or color books with stories about hospitals or let the children make their own story-picture books about it.
8. If the children seem to be displaying a lot of anger or frustration, find an active or vigorous play outlet for them.
Through play, children work through their feelings, releasing their anxieties and burning off excess energy in a
constructive manner.
Things You Can Do:
Attempt to have contact with the children daily.
When you are with the children, spend some special time alone with them if possible.
Try to provide a continuation of the normal and special activities of your children as much as
possible, such as school or sports, birthday parties or holiday celebrations.
Activities that may help to stay involved with the children:
1. Write or tape record “letters” to each other or phone as often as you can.
2. Tape record bedtime stories or read/tell them over the phone.
3. Send a new piece to a puzzle every day.
4. Send safe, unused trinkets from the hospital to the children.
5. Have both the patient and healthy children make greeting cards, pictures and picture books for each other.
6. If you cannot be with the children ask them to keep a special item of yours for you until you can be with them.
7. Have a photo exchange between the patient and the healthy children. If possible, take a picture of the patient
actually in the hospital to send to the healthy children. The hospital may have a Polaroid camera that you could
use to do this.
If possible allow the healthy children to visit the patient in the hospital. If a visit to the hospital by the healthy
children is planned in advance, let the Child Life staff know when it is so appropriate games and support items
can be provided. In order to prepare the children for some of the medical equipment, you should mention, “You
may also see some special things that help her/him get better. If you have any questions, you can ask me.”
Depending on the situation and children’s age, more or less information may be provided. Remember, the Child
Life and Nursing Staff are also available to provide any additional support that your children may need
concerning the hospitalization.
The Center for Grieving Children – 555 Forest Ave, Portland, ME 04101 – P.O. Box 1438, Portland, ME 04104
Phone: 207-775-5216 Fax: 207-773-7417 Email: cgc@cgcmaine.org Web: www.cgcmaine.org