504 b Coreman presentation

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504 b Coreman presentation

  1. 1. I’m NOT Talking to a Grief Therapist: How to Work with Grieving Teens Monica Coreman MA, PCC-S Grief Counselor Hospice of the Western Reserve 216-486-6250 [email_address]
  2. 2. … a community-based grief support program that provides services throughout Northern Ohio to anyone who has experienced a loss due to death
  3. 3. Objectives <ul><ul><li>Identify barriers that prevent adolescents from engaging in therapy </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>List ways to overcome barriers to grief therapy </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Learn specific interventions that facilitate grief work </li></ul></ul>
  4. 4. Barriers to Grief Counseling
  5. 5. Developmental Issues for Teens <ul><ul><li>In between childhood </li></ul></ul><ul><li>and adulthood…. </li></ul>
  6. 6. <ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Grief is a blend of physical, emotional, behavioral and intellectual reactions. </li></ul></ul></ul></ul></ul>
  7. 7. Grief comes in waves. Frequency of “grief attacks” decrease over time.
  8. 8. Characteristics of Teen Grief
  9. 9. Intense all or nothing emotions Characteristics of Teen Grief
  10. 10. <ul><ul><li>Delayed grief reaction </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Engage in risk-taking behaviors </li></ul></ul>Characteristics of Teen Grief
  11. 11. <ul><ul><li>Have high walls up </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Focus on school, friends, and activities </li></ul></ul>Characteristics of Teen Grief
  12. 12. <ul><ul><li>Rage </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Drugs or alcohol use </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Suicidality </li></ul></ul>Red Flags
  13. 13. Strategies <ul><ul><li>Relationship building </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Humor </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Rewards </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Normalize/validate </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Meaning making </li></ul></ul>
  14. 14. <ul><ul><li>Be flexible </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be genuine </li></ul></ul>What can you do??
  15. 15. What can you do?? <ul><ul><li>Let them know you’re there </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Model healthy grieving </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Make resources available </li></ul></ul>
  16. 16. It’s okay if they don’t tell YOU everything, BUT…. help them identify others they may use as supports.
  17. 17. What not to do… a.k.a. How to not dig a big hole
  18. 18. Specific Interventions Creative Ways to Process Feelings
  19. 19. Groups
  20. 20. Groups <ul><ul><li>Helps because they are in group of their peers </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Not as intense as 1:1 </li></ul></ul>
  21. 21. Feedback from Teens <ul><ul><li>I’ve learned that it’s okay to talk about feelings, it’s a safe place </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>I’m not abnormal because I have these feelings </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>I loved that I got to express my feelings without anyone looking at me funny. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>like the food color, my feelings never completely go away. </li></ul></ul>
  22. 22. Relaxation Exercises
  23. 23. Music <ul><ul><li>A large part of their culture already </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Lyrics </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Allows them a way to express feelings they may not say to you. </li></ul></ul>
  24. 24. Books
  25. 25. Art/Projects Trust the process.
  26. 26. Comments, Criticisms, Witticisms…
  27. 27. References Bobby’s Books: bobbysbooks.org Corr, C.A. & Balk, D.E. (Ed.).(1996). Handbook of Adolescent Death and Bereavement. New York: Springer Publishing Co. Doka, K. & Tucci, A.(Ed.).(2008). Living with grief: children & adolescents . Washington D.C. : Hospice Foundation of Dyregrov, A. (1991). Grief in children: A handbook for adults . London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers. Huntley, T.(2002). Helping children grieve: when someone they love dies. Revised ed. Minneapolis: Augsburg Books. Mahon, M. M. (2009) ‘Funeral direcetors and Bereaved Children Beliefs and Experiences’, Death Studies, 33:9, 828-847. National Child Traumatic Stress Network: www.nctsn.org Rando, T. (1993). Treatment of complicated mourning. Champaign, IL: Research Press. Schaefer, D. & Lyons, C. (2001). How do we tell the children? A step-by-step guide for helping children to teen cope when someone dies. 3rd ed. New York: New Market Press
  28. 28. References Servaty-Seib, H.L. & Pistole, M.C. (2006-2007). Adolescent grief: relationship category and emotional closeness. Omega 54(147-167). Silverman, P.R. (2000). Never too young to know: death in children’s lives . New York: Oxford Press. Weber, Z.W., Rowling, L. & Scanlon, L. (2007). It’s like …a Confronting Issue: Life Changing Narratives of Young People. Qualitative Health Research , 72(7), 945-953. Wolchik, S.A., Ma, Y., Tein, J, Sandler, I.N.& Ayers, S. (2008). Parentally bereaved children’s grief: self system beliefes as mediators of the relations between grief and stressors and caregiver-child relationship quality. Death Studies, 32(7): 597-620. Wolfelt, A. (1996). Healing the bereaved child . Fort Collins, Colorado: Companion Press. Worden, J.W. (2002). Grief counseling and grief therapy: a handbook for the mental health practitioner, 3rd ed. New York: Springer Publishing Company.

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