As a teacher and a school administrator, I have seen my fair share of custody agreements. 5 Things Schools Wish Divorced Parents (&Attorneys) Knew!. To learn more, visit DADvocacy.com.

1. 5 Things Schools Wish Divorced Parents (&
Attorneys) Knew!
As a teacher and a school administrator, I have seen my fair share of custody agreements. As
a school principal, one of my most important responsibilities was to review custody
agreements to make sure that we were adhering to the guidelines set by the court.
Time and time again, schools still find themselves in precarious situations when it comes to
conflicts between parents over their custody agreements.
Here are 5 things we wish you knew that would help to make everyone’s life a little bit easier:
1. We must stay neutral. Quite often I have found myself speaking with parents who are
pleading their case to me about how horrible their ex was, or still is, to get me to take
their side and to show favouritism. Please understand even if I agree with you, I cannot
take your side. Teachers and school administrators must stay neutral. I cannot write a
statement about how horrible your ex is, and I cannot act against the custody
agreement because you asked me to. My focus and the focus of my teachers must
always be what is best for the child(ren). Getting in the middle of your marital issues
would not benefit any child.
2. Please understand your own agreement. Too often I have found myself explaining to
parents what their custody agreement says or does not say. They argue with me about
what they agreed upon; however, I must follow what the judge signed. Please make
sure you understand the terms of the child custody agreement and what it means
before you sign it.
3. We must follow what’s written and signed by the judge. Yes, I understand you are
working to get things changed, and yes, I understand how hard this is for you.
However, until we receive updated documents signed by the court, the school staff

2. cannotact against the documentation we have in our possession. Also, if you do not
have a custody agreement in place yet, we cannot withhold the rights of the other
parent simply because you asked.
4. 50/50 is NOT always the best child custody/timesharing agreement for all families
at all times. On the surface, 50/50 timesharing seems like the best-case scenario;
however, from the school’s perspective, it can cause issues if the wording is vague. As
school staff, we would love for agreements to be worded more specifically. Think of
the concrete repercussions that could occur unless your timesharing agreement
clarifies limits. 50/50 means that both parents have equal rights, and that both can
attend parent meetings, receive grades, and take calls for disciplinary issues or
emergencies. But 50/50 timesharing also means either parent can add or remove an
emergency contact/pick-up person, and that either parent can withdraw or enrol a
student in the school. This type of shared parental authority without boundaries can
lead to headaches for the school and the child – unless there is additional guidance in
your custody agreement. For example, what if Dad adds his new girlfriend as a pick-
up person, but Mom removes her and now the girlfriend is at school to pick up the
child? We cannot release the child to Dad’s girlfriend because Mom removed her as a
pick-up person. What if Mom withdraws the child from our school because she moved,
and Dad is unhappy with that decision, so he re-enrols the child in our school? Now
the child is in a different classroom, which is unnecessarily stressful on the child. You
can help your family by adding language to your custody agreement that requires
consent in writing from both parents for enrolment, authorized emergency contacts,
and authorized pick-ups.
5. Please do not use the school staff as a weapon against your ex. No, we will not
withhold the school pictures so that your ex doesn’t get them. As a policy, we don’t
do petty. No, we will not let you know if the girlfriend/boyfriend was with the
child(ren) when they came to school if your custody agreement does not address this
issue. No, we will not give you a copy of your ex’s driver’s license so that you can see
where your ex lives now. The list can go on.
Unless your request or actions are legitimated by the custody agreement on file, we cannot
accept demands to the contrary. We cannot act in place of the court. Teachers and school
staff focus solely on what is best for your child.