Project 6

1. Matthew-Burniston
Script: Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
[Space - overlooking earth]
(The story begin in space, overlooking the planet as the Vogon space-ship approaches, then slowly fades to outsides
Arthur Dent's house as it's about to be knocked down by a series of bulldozers. - Across the transition will be applied
noise of a stopwatch counting down, foreshadowing the end of serial – the destruction of the Earth.)
[Outside Arthur's house]
(Still in his slippers and dressing-gown, Arthur exits the house to protest at the destruction of his property.)
Arthur: "Excuse me? Excuse me?! Whatdo you think you think you're doing?"
Mr Prosser: "So you haven't heard then?"
(Arthur starts to raised his voice further, even more outraged, gradually growing angrier the longer he proceeds.)
Arthur: "No, I haven't "heard" – clearly!?"
(He snaps back! Followed by a long pause between the two as man exchanges a brief look as if he were awaiting a
response.)
Mr Prosser: "Thy bypass...?"
Arthur: "Sorry, what do you mean bypass?"
Mr Prosser: "The bypass,Mr Dent."
(He smugly adds.)
Arthur: "Oh I get it, and you're takingmy house down – to make the way?!"
Mr Prosser: "It's a bypass.You've got to build bypasses."
(His response confirming Arthur's analogy, thus furthering Arthur's anger...)
Arthur: "Yea? We'll shortly see to that!"
(Already being stood in front of the line of bulldozers, he furthers his protest by lying down.)
Construction worker 1: "What's he playingat?"
Construction worker 2: "Don't ask me. Looks likehe's of for a nap."
(He jokes.)
Mr Prosser: "Quite, the pair of you..."
(He says under his breath - disgruntle towards their remark's, before turning back to Arthur who was now lying in the
dirt, still in his dressing-gown.)
Mr Prosser: "Come off it Mr Dent. This isn'tgoingto go you're way, you know. It might seem likea completely
reasonableidea atthe moment, but you cantstay here permanently."
Arthur: "We'll see..."

2. Matthew-Burniston
(He mutters in response, loud enough so the man could hear but quite enough he didn't get the satisfaction of anger –
he wasn't worth that to Arthur.)
Mr Prosser: "Well, it's a bypass.Bypasses haveto be builtMr Dent."
Arthur: "So you keep saying..."
(Antagonised at the mans persistence.)
Arthur: "Wait, why does it have to be built?"
(Filler/background - Optional inclusion?)
Mr Prosser: "Well you did have the appropriatetime to protest this case."
Arthur: "What do you mean?! How would I do that if I wasn'teven made aware of such a situation?!"
Mr Prosser: "Do you actually knowhow much you'd damage this here – bulldozer?"
Arthur: "This'd aught to be good. How much?"
Mr Prosser: "Absolutely non!"
(He pauses, letting the information sink in.)
Mr Prosser: "Non at all!"
Arthur: "Isn't that a bit morbid..."
(Far out in the distance Ford is running towards the scene caused by Arthur, calling out for Arthur.)
Ford: "Arthur!? Arthur!?"
(He turns round to notice a rather eccentric Ford Prefect.)
Arthur: "Ford...?"
Ford: "Where can we talk?"
(He says to himself,clickinghis fingers in thought.)
Arthur: "What?"
(For still thinking in the background.)
Ford: "The pub! Arthur, we've got to go to the HorseAnd Groom."
Arthur: "Look Ford, I'm justa littlebitbusy here. Besides it's 10 in morning!?"
(He gestures towards the towards Mr Prosser and his band of men.)
Ford: "Please,it's important!"
Mr Prosser: "It's fineby us."
Arthur: "Shut it!"

3. Matthew-Burniston
(He threatens the man, causing him to back off – in a passive response.)
Arthur: "- And Ford, your alcoholismcan wait!"
(Ford sighs, slowly loosing his mind at this point. Ford sighs, realising he's not going to persuade him to leave this way,
he turns to another solution to move Arthur.)
Ford: "Look Mr...?"
(He walks over to Mr Prosser and pats him on the back.)
Mr Prosser: "Prosser,Mr Prosser!"
(He says with pride.)
Ford: "Of course!"
(Beaming like Cheshire-Cat, talking to him(Mr Prosser) as if they were old friends.)
Ford: "Now supposing,justsupposingnow! - That if me and my good friend Arthur popped of to the pub, that by the
time we got back,this house ?"
Arthur: "What are you..."
(Ford turns around, to face Arthur, cutting him off mid sentence.)
Ford: "Shhh!"
(Then turn back to face Mr Prosser, his arm never leaving his shoulder.)
Mr Prosser: "No, no... I wouldn't dream of such a thing."
Ford: "See Arthur!"
(Filler/background - Optional inclusion?)
Ford: "Oh and if you ever want to do the same, we could always return that favour?"
Mr. Prosser: "Oh...? Why thank you!"
Construction Worker 2: "I hear that!"
Ford: "Ahh..."
(Remarking on his gesture.)
Ford: "Now Arthur, you justget up and let Mr Prosser take over now..."
(Ford helps Arthur up,
Arthur: "Sorry, am I the only one who's kept their saneat the moment, or am I the only one who's not maki ng sense
any more?"
Ford: "Shhh!"

4. Matthew-Burniston
(Ford shushes Arthur, ignoring him to focus on Mr. Prosser who was getting ready to take Arthur's place.)
Ford: "Here we go, justthere..."
(Helping the man to the ground.)
Ford: "No moving now!"
Mr. Prosser: "Never even crossed my mind."
(He grinned, as Ford grabs Arthur by the armand starts headingin the direction of the pub.)
Arthur: "Can we trust him?"
Ford: "It doesn't matter. You've got all the time in the world!"
(He, says failing to comfort the now concerned Arthur. Equally sounding slightly un-eased about something in his
words.)
Arthur: "What!? That's my home?!"
(Filler/background - Optional inclusion?)
(Ford starts walk ahead – just out hearing range of Arthur.)
Ford: "Right now, that's the leastof our worries..."
(Something saddening him.)
Arthur: "Are you alright!"
(He shouts ahead.)
Ford: "Life always finds a way...We can'tall bethe hero's of our own stories...)
(Still talking to himself like he made a bad choice but wouldn't quite say what.)
Arthur: "- And slow down! I can hardly keep up."
(He adds to his last statement.)
[The Horse And Groom - pub]
(The pub's relatively quite, yet not empty as people are about – socialising.)
(Filler/background - Optional inclusion?)
Bar customer: "One pints of Guinness mate."
(The man hands over some cash and the bar man takes.)
Bar customer: "Keep the change."
Bar man/woman: "Coming up."

5. Matthew-Burniston
(He starts pouring a drink.)
Bar man/woman: "One pint...
Bar customer: "Cheers mate!"
Arthur: "So what's all the rush about,? What's all this secrecy? Why do you keep checkingyour watch? And more
importantly why do you look so worried, almostsad?"
(He questions him, tired of being dragged everywhere and to no answers.)
Ford: "I'll explain all of that later , right now it's not important."
Bar man/woman: "What can I get the pair of you fine gentlemen?"
(Both of them both then cut of by the man behind the bar.)
Arthur: "No thank you, I'm not an alcoholic,thank you."
(The man then turns to Ford who kindly pitches in-)
Ford: "Don't listen to him! He'll have six pints of anythingstrong, and I'll haveone glass of water."
(He fetches the money and gives itto the man)
(Filler/background - Optional inclusion?)
Bar man/woman: "Alright!"
(He pours all the drinks one by one, still asking no questions – just doing his job as had the day before that, and
the day before that, and so on, just going through the motions.)
Bar man/woman: "Here we go, four pints and one glass of water."
Ford: " Thank you!"
(He takes the glass of water and raises it, smiling.)
Ford: "Important to hydrate!"
Arthur: "I can'tdrink all of this?!"
Ford: "Course you can!The best thing to do is,try not think about it."
(Joking around like he's hiding his true feelings and more importantly, the matter that's been weighing him
down.)
Ford: "Believe me, you're goingto need it."
(Speaking under his breath.)
Arthur: "I want answers!? What's so bad you can't say?"
Ford: "Tell me how long we've been friends Arthur? - Don't ask why, justanswer."
Arthur: "About five years? Why?"

6. Matthew-Burniston
(Still getting no answers,Ford smiles.)
Ford: "Drink up."
Arthur: "I'm goingto regret sayingthis aloud,butthat's startingto sound likethe smartest thing you've said all day."
(For the first time he touches the glass (-gingerly so,) and slowly starts to take a sip, accepting that he'd get no answers
and it'd be much more easier to do as he was told. With this, he starts to down the first pint and finishes it, wiping away
the foam from his upper lip.)
(Filler/background - Optional inclusion?)
Arthur: "You still haven'tanswered my question though. Why?"
Ford: "Why, what?"
(He replies, acting oblivious to the question, though fully knowing what he meant by it – as if he couldn't quite
build up to finish what he started...)
(Suddenly, from the silence falls the crashing of rubble as the sound of what may have been Arthurs house was run
down.)
Arthur: "Is that what I..."
(Not being able to finish his sentence as he dashes out cursing.)
(Filler/background - Optional inclusion?)
Bar man/woman: "What's got into your mate?"
(He looks down and examines the now remaining four pint.)
Bar man/woman: "- I mean, didn'tdrink much, did he?"
Ford: "Tell me something..."
(He looks up, quite and still saddened by something.)
Ford: "What if..."
(Pausing to think about what he was about to say, how he'd phrase it.)
Ford: "Just theoretically speaking,mind you..."
Bar man/woman: "I."
Ford: "Theoretically speaking,what if you knew the world was about to end by aliens,whatwould you do?"
Bar man/woman: "Well.... Ugh... I'm afraid I'mnot sure, I mean is it?"
Ford: "Umm? What?"
(He smiles and pulls himself together.)
Ford: "Thank you!"
Bar man/woman: "What for?"

7. Matthew-Burniston
Ford: "Exactly."
(Putting on a smile, hiding his emotions, still not quite hitting a high energy level.)
(He gets up and follows Arthur back to what was his house.)
[Space - overlooking earth]
(The sound of the alarmis re-used in the looming's of space,reminding the audienceof the count down.)
[Outside Arthur's house]
(Arthur runs into the scene, devastated at the scene of what was his house.)
Arthur: "Oh yeah! And so much for your word!?"
(In the distancestarts runningtowards Arthur as he did in his firstappearance.Constantly lookingathis watch,
counting down.)
Ford: "Arthur?! Arthur?! Three minutes, thirty-five seconds... Three minutes, thirty-two seconds... Arthur?!"
(He finally catches up to the scene, now out of breath and panting.)
Arthur: "I mean look what they've done. This was my house once – believe it or not?!"
(Pickingthrough some of the rubble. Ford grabs himby the arm and pulls himaway.)
Ford: "Pull yourself together! It's aboutto get worse."

8. Matthew-Burniston