3 1. Thesis: What you argue is reasonable, but various grammatical and stylistic errors corrected throughout your essay in red ink and elaborated upon in my comments below distract and detract from the argument’s effectiveness in terms of how it is presented. 2. Analysis: You need to mention more specific examples of Progressive accomplishments, such as specific laws that were passed and when or specific examples of muck-raking authors and their works. 3. Development of Argument: I like that you have a title, but be creative and have a more original title to grab your reader’s attention. It may seem minor, but these little things sometimes help make essays stand out as going that extra mile when compared with others in the class. Have a more dramatic lead. Open with an attention-grabbing quotation or short anecdote to start things off creatively. After all, an essay is a still a work of literature and can have creative flourishes to make each one stand out from the others in the class. For example: Historian John D. Buenker (born 1937) asks, “What was Progressivism?” Whenever you mention our country’s name for the first time, write the full name with the abbreviated form used later in parentheses. So, first time: The United States of America (U.S.A.). Subsequent times: U.S.A. Besides, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_(disambiguation) for the numerous historical countries with “United States” in their names. Whenever you introduce an event for the first time, indicate when it occurred in parentheses: The Progressive Era (1890s-1920s). Whenever you mention someone who is not a monarch for the first time, write his or her full name and indicate when he or she lived in parentheses: Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924). Please see http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/ending-essay-conclusions for how to conclude an essay. Note, for example, the sentence about how you should avoid such phrases as “in conclusion,” “to conclude,” “in summary,” and “to sum up.” These phrases can be useful--even welcome--in oral presentations, but readers can see, by the tell-tale compression of the pages, when an essay is about to end. 4. Structure: Please be sure to have typed page numbers in the upper right hand corner of each page as I have on this comment sheet. Please be sure to have one inch margins on all sides of your essay as I have on this comment sheet. Please format footnotes as I do on the syllabus for the grammar tips. Indent the first line of each note by five spaces. Use 10-point font for notes. Please only cite your sources using footnotes following the Chicago Manual of Style. Do not also use parenthetical citations. 5. Grammar and Prose: Be consistent with capitalization. For example, sometimes you have “Progressivism” and other times “progressivism”. You do similarly with “Blacks” and “blacks”. Pick one way and stick with it! Proofread more carefully! Use “impact” for something ...

1. 3
1. Thesis:
What you argue is reasonable, but various grammatical and
stylistic errors corrected throughout your essay in red ink and
elaborated upon in my comments below distract and detract
from the argument’s effectiveness in terms of how it is
presented.
2. Analysis:
You need to mention more specific examples of Progressive
accomplishments, such as specific laws that were passed and
when or specific examples of muck-raking authors and their
works.
3. Development of Argument:
I like that you have a title, but be creative and have a more
original title to grab your reader’s attention. It may seem
minor, but these little things sometimes help make essays stand
out as going that extra mile when compared with others in the
class.
Have a more dramatic lead. Open with an attention-grabbing
quotation or short anecdote to start things off creatively. After
all, an essay is a still a work of literature and can have creative
flourishes to make each one stand out from the others in the
class. For example:

2. Historian John D. Buenker (born 1937) asks, “What was
Progressivism?”
Whenever you mention our country’s name for the first time,
write the full name with the abbreviated form used later in
parentheses. So, first time: The United States of America
(U.S.A.). Subsequent times: U.S.A. Besides, see
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_(disambiguation)
for the numerous historical countries with “United States” in
their names.
Whenever you introduce an event for the first time, indicate
when it occurred in parentheses: The Progressive Era (1890s-
1920s).
Whenever you mention someone who is not a monarch for the
first time, write his or her full name and indicate when he or she
lived in parentheses: Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924).
Please see http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/ending-
essay-conclusions for how to conclude an essay. Note, for
example, the sentence about how you should avoid such phrases
as “in conclusion,” “to conclude,” “in summary,” and “to sum
up.” These phrases can be useful--even welcome--in oral
presentations, but readers can see, by the tell-tale compression
of the pages, when an essay is about to end.
4. Structure:
Please be sure to have typed page numbers in the upper right
hand corner of each page as I have on this comment sheet.

3. Please be sure to have one inch margins on all sides of your
essay as I have on this comment sheet.
Please format footnotes as I do on the syllabus for the grammar
tips. Indent the first line of each note by five spaces. Use 10-
point font for notes.
Please only cite your sources using footnotes following the
Chicago Manual of Style. Do not also use parenthetical
citations.
5. Grammar and Prose:
Be consistent with capitalization. For example, sometimes you
have “Progressivism” and other times “progressivism”. You do
similarly with “Blacks” and “blacks”. Pick one way and stick
with it!
Proofread more carefully!
Use “impact” for something physical such as a car crash and not
when you more precisely mean “affect,” “effect,” or
“influence”.
Please be sure to follow all six grammar tips from the syllabus.
This:Diana Hacker explains that “The pronouns this, that, and
which should not refer vaguely to earlier word groups or ideas.
These pronouns should refer to specific antecedents. When a
pronoun’s reference is too vague, either replace the pronoun
with a noun or supply an antecedent to which the pronoun

4. clearly refers.”
William Strunk adds,“The pronoun this, referring to the
complete sense of a preceding sentence or clause, cannot always
carry the load and so may produce a vague statement.”
Edward G. Berenson goes further with regards to the “naked”
this:
For most Russians this period was not a happy time.
Naked “this”:
For most Russians this was not a happy time.
As a general rule, novice writers should avoid using the naked
this (or the naked that, these, and those), because these terms
may easily lead to confusion on the part of the reader:
The result was a harsh economic recession that caused
widespread unemployment, misery, and hunger. Rather than
alleviate this, the government made things worse.
What did the government fail to alleviate? The recession? The
suffering caused by the recession? Both?
Revision:
The result was a harsh economic recession that caused
widespread unemployment, misery, and hunger. Rather than
alleviate this suffering, the government made things worse.
Now it is clear that the writer is referring to “widespread
unemployment, misery, and hunger.”
Thus, one out of only six grammar tips or 17% were
inadequately followed in your essay.
6. Sources:
Because this assignment is in part a midterm exam, I also need

5. to see what you learned from lecture. As such, you should
footnote a relevant lecture as a source for your essay at least
once in your essay.
Because I have had the class read and comment on so many
articles from History and Headlines, be sure to cite at least one
of those articles in a footnote in your essay so as to make use of
multiple course materials. The article at
http://www.historyandheadlines.com/history-july-19-1848-the-
first-womens-rights-convention/ would be relevant to your
essay. The article at http://www.historyandheadlines.com/10-
major-steps-forward-towards-womens-rights/ would also be
relevant to your essay.
Per the Grading Criteria Chart on the syllabus, be sure to
include a visual source inserted directly into your essay:
Figure 1. Chart of The Progressive Era Amendments taken from
http://images.slideplayer.com/20/6217509/slides/slide_18.jpg
(accessed 29 March 2016).
After all, an article in a journal, magazine, or newspaper
typically includes visual sources to illustrate what is covered in
the text. Also, see http://i.stack.imgur.com/mtj0p.png and
http://www.lib.sfu.ca/system/files/27253/Imagecitation-
Chicago.PNG and notice how the image has a label below it.
7. Averaged Grade:
If you made no changes your essay would be in C-range in
terms of its grade. If you follow my suggestions above, you
should improve your grade on this assignment. How much the

6. grade improves depends on how effectively you make these
changes.
� John D. Buenker, “What Was Progressivism?” in Retrieving
the American Past (Boston: Pearson Custom Publishing, 2006),
1-45.
� Diana Hacker, A Pocket Manual of Style, Fourth Edition
(Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2004), 39.
� William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White, The Elements of Style,
Fourth Edition (New York: Allyn & Bacon, 2000), 61.
� Edward G. Berenson with Katie Beals and Catherine Johnson,
Europe in the Modern World (Oxford: Oxford University Press,
2014), 56.
MKTU 420
Assignment – Mind Map
A mind map is a graphical way to represent ideas
and concepts. It is a visual thinking tool
that helps
structuring information, helping you to better
analyze, comprehend, synthesize, recall and
generate new
ideas. Just as in every greatidea, its power

7. lies in its simplicity!
Creating a Mind Map.
Companies to research
- DreamTrips/WorldVentures
- UNISON Travel Club
- AAA (Travel aspect of the company)
1. Create a Central Idea. The central idea is the
starting pointof your Mind Map and
represents the topicyou are going to explore.
2. Add branches to your map. You should have a
branch for each question in the Week
assignment:
1. Brief description of the company
2. Market share
3. Competitive advantages
4. Stage of Product Lifecycle it’s in
5. Where in the BCG Model is the
company/product?
6. Who are its target customers?
7. What are its goals?
8. What are its Top 5 resources?
9. What control systems are in place?
3. The next step to get your creative juices flowing
is to add branches. Add keywords.
Color code your branches. Include images.
4. Choose a free tool to develop THREE MindMaps
for your project, one map for each

8. company. Choose from Coggle, MindMapple, NovaMind,
Text2Mindmap, Blumind,
Sketchboard, WiseMapping, MindJet, XMind, FreeMind,or
MindNode or something
similar.
5. Examples:
1. A mind Map on how to make a Mind Map!
2. A mind map on TimeManagement (very useful)
3. Making a Presentation

9. 4. Building a Strategic Plan
Mind Map Rubric
Criteria Exemplary Competent Developing
Emerging
Identification,
description, and
explanation of the
Company Questions
and Marketing
Strategy Issues,
Problems,
Opportunities,
Goals.
58-52
Student makes use of
the MindMap to

10. identify & understand
and has a clear
knowledge of
companies, industry,
business environment
and necessary
strategy changes.
Measureable,
achievable and
profitable. Strategies
are well defined.
MindMap is clear and
logical.
51-46
Student makes use of
the MindMap to
identify and mostly
understands the main
issues in Marketing
Strategy. Strategies
are Measureable,
achievable and
profitable. Strategies
are defined.
Somewhat clear
understanding of
companies, industry,
business environment
and necessary
strategy changes.
MindMap is clear and
logical but may lack
some depth or detail.
45-41

11. Student makes use of
the MindMap to
identify and
understands some of
the issues in
Marketing Strategy.
Measureable and
profitable. Some
understanding of
companies, industry,
business environment
and necessary
strategy changes
MindMap is may seem
unclear, may have
missing branches,
may lack depth and
details, contains typos
and/or appears
sloppy.
40-0
Student makes use of
the MindMap to
identify and
understands few of the
issues in Marketing
Strategy.
Measureable
strategies not well
defined. Weak,
minimal understanding
of companies,
industry, business
environment and
necessary strategy

12. changes. The
MindMap does not
clearly show
strategies.
Branches are missing
and lacks logical flow
or reasoning, lacks
depth and details,
contains typos, and is
difficult to read and/or
print.
Writing Skills 10-9
Writing is totally free of
grammar and spelling
errors. Clear and
concise presentation
of ideas included on
the map.
8-7
There are occasional
spelling, grammar, or
punctuation errors.
Clear and concise
presentation of ideas
included on the map.
6-5
There are more than
occasional spelling, or
grammar errors.
Slightly difficult to
follow the ideas on the
map.

13. 4-0
Spelling, grammar, or
punctuation errors are
frequent. Hard to
follow the ideas on the
map.
Referenced Sources 7
Uses 6 or more
academic sources to
support the map.
Precisely integrates
conceptual material
from the text and other
referenced materials.
Accurately adheres to
APA standards;
reference page is
included and citations
are correct. All
sources listed in
References are cited.
6
Uses 5- 6 academic
sources to support the
map. Precisely
integrates conceptual
material from the text
and other referenced
materials. Adheres to
APA standards;

14. reference page is
included and citations
are correct with minor
(1-3) errors. All
sources listed in
References are cited.
5
Uses 4 - 6 sources to
support the map
although some may
not be from credible
business journals.
Limited integration of
the conceptual
material from the text.
APA standards are
somewhat followed;
the work of others is
cited but with
numerous (4 – 10)
errors. Sources listed
in References and
citations may not
match
4
Uses 0-4 academic
sources to support the
map. Integrates few or
no concepts from the
text and course
material.
Limited adherence to
APA standards in the
paper and Reference

15. page; work of others
may be cited and/or
with multiple errors.