The document discusses resolving conflicts between believers in Islam. It begins by instructing believers to make peace between conflicting parties, but if one party excessively transgresses against the other, then all should fight against the transgressing party until it complies with Allah's commands. Once it complies, peace should be made between the parties with justice and fairness, as Allah loves those who are fair. The document provides background on historical conflicts between tribes and quotes hadiths emphasizing avoiding oppression and greed. It defines what conflicts are, notes they stem from differences and are normal in relationships, and outlines keys to understanding and successfully resolving conflicts.

1. Surah Hujuraat
Part 2
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser

2. O you who have believed, if there comes to you a
disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm
a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have
done, regretful.
‫إ‬َ‫ب‬َ‫ن‬ِ‫ب‬ ٌ‫ق‬ِ‫س‬‫ا‬َ‫ف‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ء‬‫ا‬َ‫ج‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ن‬َ‫م‬‫آ‬ َ‫ين‬ِ‫ذ‬َّ‫ال‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ه‬ُّ‫ي‬َ‫أ‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ي‬‫ا‬ً‫م‬ ْ‫و‬َ‫ق‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ب‬‫ي‬ ِ‫ص‬ُ‫ت‬ ‫ن‬َ‫أ‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ن‬َّ‫ي‬َ‫ب‬َ‫ت‬َ‫ف‬
‫ة‬َ‫ل‬‫ا‬َ‫ه‬َ‫ج‬ِ‫ب‬َ‫ين‬ِ‫م‬ِ‫د‬‫َا‬‫ن‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ت‬ْ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬َ‫ف‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ ٰ‫ى‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ح‬ِ‫ب‬ْ‫ص‬ُ‫ت‬َ‫ف‬
6

3. No Chinese Whisper….

4. Don’t Spread what You will regret
▪After committing a blunder
▪Loss of wealth or life
▪Taking away someone’s right
▪Relationship mess for all
4

5. If we hear something
▪Confirm
▪Do not pass it to irrelevant people
▪Do not pass if lot of repercussions

6. “
Abu Qilabah reported: The Messenger of
Allah, ‫ﷺ‬ said, “It is an evil mount for a man
to rely upon what others merely assert.”
(Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4972)

7. “Hammam ibn Al-Harith reported: We were
sitting with Hudhaifa and it was said that a
man falsely attributed a story to Uthman.
Hudhaifa said: I heard the Prophet, ‫ﷺ‬ say,
“The slanderer will not enter Paradise.”
(Sahih Bukhari 5709, Sahih Muslim 105)
7

8. “
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of
Allah, ‫ﷺ‬ said, “Whoever is silent has been
saved.”
(Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2501)
8

9. “Ibn Al-Mubarak reported: A man said to Al-
Makhul, may Allah have mercy on him,
“Indeed, someone has slandered you!” Al-
Makhul said, “May Allah forgive him, for he is
merely inexperienced.”
(al-Zuhd wal-Raqā’iq 659)
9

10. 1
What to do if any news hurt you or
anyone else?
• First confirm it
• Talk to right authority
• Stay peaceful
• No undue demand
10

11. And know that among you is the Messenger of Allah . If he were to obey you in
much of the matter, you would be in difficulty, but Allah has endeared to you the
faith and has made it pleasing in your hearts and has made hateful to you
disbelief, defiance and disobedience. Those are the [rightly] guided.
ِ َّ‫اّلل‬ َ‫ل‬‫و‬ُ‫س‬َ‫ر‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬‫ي‬ِ‫ف‬ َّ‫ن‬َ‫أ‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫م‬َ‫ل‬ْ‫ع‬‫ا‬ َ‫و‬َ‫ك‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ف‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ع‬‫ي‬ِ‫ط‬ُ‫ي‬ ْ‫و‬َ‫ل‬ ۚ‫ا‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫ك‬َٰ‫ل‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُّ‫ت‬ِ‫ن‬َ‫ع‬َ‫ل‬ ِ‫ر‬ْ‫م‬َ ْ‫اْل‬ َ‫ن‬ِِّ‫م‬ ‫ير‬ِ‫ث‬َ‫َّب‬‫ب‬َ‫ح‬ َ َّ‫ّلل‬
ُ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬ِ‫إ‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬ِ‫إ‬ َ‫ه‬َّ‫ر‬َ‫ك‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ِ‫ب‬‫و‬ُ‫ل‬ُ‫ق‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ف‬ ُ‫ه‬َ‫ن‬َّ‫ي‬ َ‫ز‬ َ‫و‬ َ‫ان‬َ‫م‬‫ي‬ِ ْ‫اْل‬َ‫ان‬َ‫ي‬ْ‫ص‬ِ‫ع‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬ َ‫وق‬ُ‫س‬ُ‫ف‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬ َ‫ر‬ْ‫ف‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ال‬ ُ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ۚ
َ‫ك‬ِ‫ئ‬َٰ‫ل‬‫و‬ُ‫أ‬َ‫ون‬ُ‫د‬ِ‫ش‬‫ا‬َّ‫الر‬ ُ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬
7

12. Where will it lead….?
ْ‫م‬ُّ‫ت‬ِ‫ن‬َ‫ع‬َ‫ل‬
Sin/ Loss/More mess
12

13. َ‫َّب‬‫ب‬َ‫ح‬ َ َّ‫اّلل‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫ك‬َٰ‫ل‬ َ‫و‬ُ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬ِ‫إ‬َّ‫ي‬ َ‫ز‬ َ‫و‬ َ‫ان‬َ‫م‬‫ي‬ِ ْ‫اْل‬‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ِ‫ب‬‫و‬ُ‫ل‬ُ‫ق‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ف‬ ُ‫ه‬َ‫ن‬
▪Bringing us to focus
▪Benefits of Eman
▪Inner beauty

14. Stay away from Despicable
ُ‫س‬ُ‫ف‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬‫وق‬َۚ‫ر‬ْ‫ف‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ال‬ ْ‫ص‬ِ‫ع‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬‫ان‬َ‫ي‬
Total denial Disobeying Casual in following

15. You need….
‫رشد‬
15

16. َ‫ك‬ِ‫ئ‬َٰ‫ل‬‫و‬ُ‫أ‬َ‫ُون‬‫د‬ِ‫ش‬‫ا‬َّ‫الر‬ ُ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬
▪Wisdom
▪Step next to guidance
▪Comes with maturity
▪Steadfast, firm
▪Attain this status when steadfast on Haq

17. [It is] as bounty from Allah and favor. And Allah is Knowing
and Wise.
ً‫ة‬َ‫م‬ْ‫ع‬ِ‫ن‬ َ‫و‬ ِ َّ‫اّلل‬ َ‫ن‬ِِّ‫م‬ ً‫ًْل‬‫ض‬َ‫ف‬‫ي‬ِ‫ك‬َ‫ح‬ ٌ‫م‬‫ي‬ِ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ ُ َّ‫اّلل‬ َ‫و‬ ٌۚ‫م‬
8

18. Define what you consider ‘Favour’?
▪Money
▪Assignment help
▪Someone’s recommendation
▪Giving preference to your needs and wants

19. ً‫ة‬َ‫م‬ْ‫ع‬ِ‫ن‬ َ‫و‬ ِ َّ‫اّلل‬ َ‫ن‬ِِّ‫م‬ ً‫ًْل‬‫ض‬َ‫ف‬
• We don’t deserve it
but get it‫ل‬ْ‫ض‬َ‫ف‬
• Blessing you enjoy
wen you
acknowledge it
‫ة‬َ‫م‬ْ‫ع‬ِ‫ن‬

20. If two parties among the Believers fall into a quarrel, make ye peace between
them: but if one of them transgresses beyond bounds against the other, then
fight ye (all) against the one that transgresses until it complies with the
command of Allah; but if it complies, then make peace between them with
justice, and be fair: for Allah loves those who are fair (and just).
ْ‫ي‬َ‫ب‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ح‬ِ‫ل‬ْ‫ص‬َ‫أ‬َ‫ف‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ل‬َ‫ت‬َ‫ت‬ْ‫ق‬‫ا‬ َ‫ين‬ِ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ْ‫ؤ‬ُ‫م‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ ِ‫ان‬َ‫ت‬َ‫ف‬ِ‫ئ‬‫ا‬َ‫ط‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬ َ‫و‬‫ا‬َ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬َ‫ن‬‫ا‬َ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬‫ا‬َ‫د‬ْ‫ح‬ِ‫إ‬ ْ‫َت‬‫غ‬َ‫ب‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬َ‫ف‬ ۚ
‫ى‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ِ‫إ‬ َ‫ء‬‫ي‬ِ‫ف‬َ‫ت‬ ٰ‫ى‬َّ‫ت‬َ‫ح‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫غ‬ْ‫ب‬َ‫ت‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ت‬َّ‫ال‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ل‬ِ‫ت‬‫ا‬َ‫ق‬َ‫ف‬ ٰ‫ى‬ َ‫ر‬ْ‫خ‬ُ ْ‫اْل‬ِ َّ‫اّلل‬ ِ‫ر‬ْ‫م‬َ‫أ‬ ٰ‫ى‬َ‫ل‬ْ‫ت‬َ‫ء‬‫ا‬َ‫ف‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬َ‫ف‬ ۚ
‫وا‬ُ‫ح‬ِ‫ل‬ْ‫ص‬َ‫أ‬َ‫ف‬‫وا‬ُ‫ط‬ِ‫س‬ْ‫ق‬َ‫أ‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ل‬ْ‫د‬َ‫ع‬ْ‫ال‬ِ‫ب‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬َ‫ن‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ب‬ُ‫ي‬ َ َّ‫اّلل‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬ َۚ‫ين‬ِ‫ط‬ِ‫س‬ْ‫ق‬ُ‫م‬ْ‫ال‬ ُّ‫ب‬ ِ‫ح‬
9

21. Background
Aws and Khizradj

22. “
Abu Dharr reported: The Messenger of Allah, ‫ﷺ‬ said:
Allah the Exalted said: O my servants, I have forbidden
oppression for myself and have made it forbidden among you, so
do not oppress one another.
(Muslim 2577)
22

23. “Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah, ‫,ﷺ‬ said:
Guard yourself from oppression, for oppression will be darkness
on the Day of Resurrection. Guard yourself from greed, for greed
destroyed those before you. It caused them to shed blood and to
make lawful what was unlawful.
(Muslim 2578)
23

24. Understand Conflicts
▪Normal part of any healthy relationship
▪Learning how to deal with conflict—rather than avoiding it—
is crucial
▪Mismanaged conflict can cause great harm to a relationship
▪Arises from differences, both large and small
▪It occurs whenever people disagree over their values,
motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires
▪A need to feel safe and secure, a need to feel respected and
valued, or a need for greater closeness and intimacy

25. Conflict Fact Sheet
▪A conflict is more than just a disagreement. Perceived as
threat
▪Conflicts continue to fester when ignored.
▪We respond to conflicts based on our perceptions Our
perceptions are influenced by our life experiences, culture, values,
and beliefs.
▪Conflicts trigger strong emotions. If you aren’t comfortable with
your emotions or able to manage them in times of stress, you won’t
be able to resolve conflict successfully.
▪Conflicts are an opportunity for growth.

26. “It was narrated from Abu Musa that the Messenger of Allah (‫)ﷺ‬ said:
“When two Muslims confront one another with their swords, both
the killer and the slain will be in Hell.”
They said: “O Messenger of Allah‫ﷺ‬ , (we understand about) this
killer, but what is wrong with the one who is slain?” He ‫ﷺ‬ said: “He
wanted to kill his companion.’”
(Ibn Majah:3964)

28. Effective Conflict Resolution
▪Manage stress quickly while remaining alert and
calm. You can accurately read and interpret verbal and
nonverbal communication.
▪Control your emotions and behavior. You can
communicate your needs without threatening,
frightening, or punishing others.
▪Pay attention to the feelings being expressed as
well as the spoken words of others.
▪Be aware of and respectful of differences.

29. Practice two Core
Skills
Ability to quickly reduce stress
Ability to remain comfortable with your
emotions

30. Final Tips on Conflict Resolution
▪Listen for what is felt as well as said. This strengthens us,
informs us, and makes it easier for others to hear us when it's our
turn to speak.
▪Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or
"being right.” Be respectful of the other person and his or her
viewpoint.
▪Focus on the present.
▪Pick your battles.
▪Be willing to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to
punish.
▪Know when to let something go.

31. ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬َ‫ن‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ب‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ح‬ِ‫ل‬ْ‫ص‬َ‫أ‬َ‫ف‬
▪Don’t take sides
▪Investigate properly
▪Listen to both sides
▪Make decision according to principles of Quran
and Sunnah

32. ‫و‬ُ‫ط‬ِ‫س‬ْ‫ق‬َ‫أ‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ل‬ْ‫د‬َ‫ع‬ْ‫ال‬ِ‫ب‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬َ‫ن‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ب‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ح‬ِ‫ل‬ْ‫ص‬َ‫أ‬َ‫ف‬‫ا‬
Abdullah ibn Amr (RA) reported: The Messenger of
Allah, ‫ﷺ‬ said:
Verily, those who were fair will be in the
presence of Allah upon pulpits of light, near the
right hand of the Merciful, the Exalted, and both
of His sides are right (being equal in honor);
those who practiced justice in their rulings and
with their families and in all that they did.
(Muslim 4493)

33. “It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (RA) that a man said: O
Messenger of Allah‫,ﷺ‬ I have relatives with whom I try to keep in
touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I
am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me. He‫ﷺ‬ said:
“If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot ashes in
their mouths. Allah will continue to support you as long as you
continue to do that.”
(Muslim:2558)

34. The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and reconciliation
between your two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive
Mercy.
ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ي‬ َ‫َو‬‫خ‬َ‫أ‬ َ‫ْن‬‫ي‬َ‫ب‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ح‬ِ‫ل‬ْ‫ص‬َ‫أ‬َ‫ف‬ ٌ‫ة‬ َ‫و‬ْ‫خ‬ِ‫إ‬ َ‫ون‬ُ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ْ‫ؤ‬ُ‫م‬ْ‫ال‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬َّ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬َ‫و‬ َۚ‫ون‬ُ‫م‬َ‫ح‬ ْ‫ر‬ُ‫ت‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َّ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬َ‫ل‬ َ َّ‫اّلل‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ق‬َّ‫ت‬‫ا‬
10

35. Relationship Strength
Eman
Taqwah
35

36. “Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, ‫ﷺ‬ said:
َ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬َ‫أ‬ ْ‫ن‬َ‫م‬ ُ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ْ‫ؤ‬ُ‫م‬ْ‫ال‬َ‫و‬ ِ‫ه‬ِ‫د‬َ‫ي‬َ‫و‬ ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ن‬‫ا‬َ‫س‬ِ‫ل‬ ْ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ ُ‫اس‬َّ‫ن‬‫ال‬ َ‫م‬ِ‫ل‬َ‫س‬ ْ‫ن‬َ‫م‬ ُ‫م‬ِ‫ل‬ْ‫س‬ُ‫م‬ْ‫ال‬ْ‫م‬ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ل‬‫ا‬َ‫و‬ْ‫م‬َ‫أ‬َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ئ‬‫ا‬َ‫م‬ِ‫د‬ ‫ى‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ ُ‫اس‬َّ‫ن‬‫ال‬ ُ‫ه‬
The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the people
are safe, and the believer is the one people trust with their lives
and wealth.
(An-Nasa’i 4998)

37. “Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allah, ‫ﷺ‬ said during
his farewell sermon:
Verily, Allah the Exalted has made sacred your lives, your wealth,
and your honor except by right of justice, just as your day, your
city, and your month are sacred. Have I not delivered the
message?
Then the Prophet‫ﷺ‬ said:
Beware! Do not return to unbelief after me by striking the necks
of each other.
(Bukhari 6403)

38. The Tripple Filtre
Test
38

39. During the golden Abbasid period, one of the
scholars in Baghdad, the capital of Muslim
caliphate at that time, was reputed to hold
knowledge in high esteem.
One day an acquaintance met the great
scholar and said, "Do you know what I just
heard about your friend?

40. Hold on a minute, before telling me anything I'd
like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple
Filter Test.
The Man Said:
Triple Filter Test?
Scholar Said:

41. That's right, before you talk to me about my friend it
might be a good idea to take a moment and filter
what you're going to say.
Scholar Said:

42. That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first
filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure
that what you are about to tell me is true?
Scholar Continued….

43. No, actually I just heard
about it and...
The Man…...

44. All right, so you don't really know if it's
true or not. Now let's try the second filter,
the filter of Goodness. Is what you are
about to tell me about my friend
something good?
Scholar….

45. No, on the contrary...
The Man….

46. So, you want to tell me something bad
about him, but you're not certain it's true.
You may still pass the test though,
because there's one filter left:
Scholar

47. The filter of Usefulness.
Is what you want to tell me about my
friend going to be useful to me?
Scholar Continued…

48. No, not really.
The Man…

49. Well, if what you want to tell me is
neither true nor good nor even useful,
why tell it to me at all?
The Scholar…

50. 50
Any questions?

51. FB: Hamaray Bachchay
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser
Twitter: Kanwal
Kaisser@HamarayBachchay
Telegram:
Hamaray Bachchay
Email:
hbheadoffice@ gmail.com
Website:
www.hamaraybachchay.com