SILICON VALLEY
   AGILE LEADERSHIP NETWORK
   APRIL 10, 2012
   AT




   Rapid Rapport:

   CREATING INFLUENCE
   ON DEMAND

Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   1
What you get:

   INCREASE COMMUNICATION
   EFFECTIVENESS UP TO 5X

Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y

   WOULD IT BE OK TO SEE A DEMO?


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   3
Bernie Maloney, CSP
PE, CSM, CSPO
Strategic Program Management


matrix management
= Influence without Authority




Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner
 Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04    Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   4
I’VE GOT GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   5
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   6
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   7
Outcome: Recognize and Practice
   Verbal Technology to Build Rapport                         Fast

    •   Why: Significance and Basis
    •   How: Applications in Technology Teams
    •   What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction
    •   Summary & Resources




   OUTLINE


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney          8
WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER
                   Before Confirmation Bias




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04              Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   9
Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter?




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   10
Ever had a telemarketer call?




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   11
& you asked to hear more?




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   12
Even socially




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   13
Confirmation Bias




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   14
HOW: APPLICATIONS IN TECHNOLOGY TEAMS




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04     Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   15
7%



                       Physiology
                       Tonality           38%
                       Words                                              55%




                   Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words
                   e.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania
                   Verbal vectors:   Tone, Pitch
                                     Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                                     Timbre
                                     Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04               Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney         16
Translating into (Agile) Practice




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04         Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   17
7%




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   18
35+%




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   19
55%




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   20
What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this?

   5X?                                                        OR 10X?


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                21
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   22
THE TIP? LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04     Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   23
The Principle




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   24
Build Rapport: Offer similar patterns
                   Tonality (35+%!)
                  --------------------- how people represent information – another talk
                   Words (7%): keys to
                  ---------------------
                   Physiological (55%!)


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04               Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                   25
Pair off: Verbal Mirroring & Matching
                   Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)               Tone, Pitch
                   Person A: Start with a Question                                       Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                   Person B: Short response, using similar verbal behaviors > Question   Timbre
                   Switch roles at signal                                                Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04              Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                                  26
Insights: Verbal Mirroring & Matching




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   27
Get the Abstraction

   WHAT’S BEHIND THIS?


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   28
It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains…




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   29
Virginia Satir’s Change Model




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   30
Principle: Success Leaves Footprints




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   31
2B bps info




   NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   32
2MB (~16 Mb)
                               (HD 1920x1080)




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04     Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   33
Conscious Mind processes
                                                        ~134 bps
                                                        in groups of
     2B bps info                                        7 +/- 2 “chunks”




                                                                                   Delete
                                                                                   Distort
                                                                                   Generalize



   Unconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight?

   NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                              34
Pair off: Layer in Physical Mirroring & Matching
                   Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)           Tone, Pitch
                   Question || Short Response || Question back                       Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                   Keep movements gentle, and when noticed, offer similar behavior   Timbre
                                                                                     Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04              Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                              35
Insights: Physical Mirroring & Matching




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   36
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   37
BONUS (time permitting): Pacing & Leading
                   Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)
                   Question || Short Response || Question back
                   Keep movements gentle,
                               once physical rapport noticed, shift a little & observe
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04                Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                 38
BONUS (time permitting): Mis-Matching
                   Keep statements short                                          Tone, Pitch
                   Person A: State an insight from this or another source today   Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                   Person B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviors        Timbre
                   Switch roles at signal                                         Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04               Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                          39
SUMMARY


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   40
TWO TYPES OF STUDENTS


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   41
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   42
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   43
DECIDE: WHICH TYPE ARE YOU?


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   44
7%



                       Physiology
                       Tonality           38%
                       Words                                              55%




                   Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words

                   Tonality (35+%!)
                   Words (7%): keys to how people represent information
                   Physiological (55%!)


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04              Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney          45
Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   46
35+%: Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching
                   Tone, Pitch
                   Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                   Timbre
                   Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04            Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   47
Seminal Work:
   Richard Bandler & John Grinder,
   Frogs into Princes




   For a far easier Introduction:
   Michael Brooks,
   Instant Rapport
   (available in libraries)

   RESOURCES


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04    Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   48
A practical application to inspire action:
   Simon Sinek
   Start With Why




   A guide leveraging Agile to transform organizations :
   Stephen Denning
   The Leader’s Guide to Radical Management

   APPLIED RESOURCES
   FOR THOSE WHO LEAD

Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04    Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   49
Bernie Maloney, CSP
PE, CSM, CSPO
Turning Strategies into Results
From Startup to Beyond $100M




       about.me/          berniemaloney
linkedin.com/in/          berniemaloney
  slideshare.net /        berniemaloney
         gplus.to/        berniemaloney
  twitter.com/#!/         berniemaloney
 Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04         Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   50
Ut Prosim. Namaste.

   FIN


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   51
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   52

201204-SVALN

  • 1.
    SILICON VALLEY AGILE LEADERSHIP NETWORK APRIL 10, 2012 AT Rapid Rapport: CREATING INFLUENCE ON DEMAND Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 1
  • 2.
    What you get: INCREASE COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS UP TO 5X Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 2
  • 3.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y WOULD IT BE OK TO SEE A DEMO? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 3
  • 4.
    Bernie Maloney, CSP PE,CSM, CSPO Strategic Program Management matrix management = Influence without Authority Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 4
  • 5.
    I’VE GOT GOODNEWS & BAD NEWS Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 5
  • 6.
    Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 6
  • 7.
    Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 7
  • 8.
    Outcome: Recognize andPractice Verbal Technology to Build Rapport Fast • Why: Significance and Basis • How: Applications in Technology Teams • What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction • Summary & Resources OUTLINE Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 8
  • 9.
    WHY = FIRSTIMPRESSIONS MATTER Before Confirmation Bias Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 9
  • 10.
    Does the 1st60 seconds really matter? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 10
  • 11.
    Ever had atelemarketer call? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 11
  • 12.
    & you askedto hear more? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 12
  • 13.
    Even socially Rapid RapportSVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 13
  • 14.
    Confirmation Bias Rapid RapportSVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 14
  • 15.
    HOW: APPLICATIONS INTECHNOLOGY TEAMS Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 15
  • 16.
    7% Physiology Tonality 38% Words 55% Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words e.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania Verbal vectors: Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 16
  • 17.
    Translating into (Agile)Practice Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 17
  • 18.
    7% Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 18
  • 19.
    35+% Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 19
  • 20.
    55% Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 20
  • 21.
    What if teamsincrease communication effectiveness by even half this? 5X? OR 10X? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 21
  • 22.
    Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 22
  • 23.
    THE TIP? LOWERUNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 23
  • 24.
    The Principle Rapid RapportSVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 24
  • 25.
    Build Rapport: Offersimilar patterns Tonality (35+%!) --------------------- how people represent information – another talk Words (7%): keys to --------------------- Physiological (55%!) Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 25
  • 26.
    Pair off: VerbalMirroring & Matching Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Tone, Pitch Person A: Start with a Question Tempo: Speed & Cadence Person B: Short response, using similar verbal behaviors > Question Timbre Switch roles at signal Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 26
  • 27.
    Insights: Verbal Mirroring& Matching Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 27
  • 28.
    Get the Abstraction WHAT’S BEHIND THIS? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 28
  • 29.
    It began inthe Santa Cruz Mountains… Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 29
  • 30.
    Virginia Satir’s ChangeModel Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 30
  • 31.
    Principle: Success LeavesFootprints Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 31
  • 32.
    2B bps info NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 32
  • 33.
    2MB (~16 Mb) (HD 1920x1080) Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 33
  • 34.
    Conscious Mind processes ~134 bps in groups of 2B bps info 7 +/- 2 “chunks” Delete Distort Generalize Unconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight? NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 34
  • 35.
    Pair off: Layerin Physical Mirroring & Matching Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Tone, Pitch Question || Short Response || Question back Tempo: Speed & Cadence Keep movements gentle, and when noticed, offer similar behavior Timbre Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 35
  • 36.
    Insights: Physical Mirroring& Matching Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 36
  • 37.
    Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 37
  • 38.
    BONUS (time permitting):Pacing & Leading Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Question || Short Response || Question back Keep movements gentle, once physical rapport noticed, shift a little & observe Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 38
  • 39.
    BONUS (time permitting):Mis-Matching Keep statements short Tone, Pitch Person A: State an insight from this or another source today Tempo: Speed & Cadence Person B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviors Timbre Switch roles at signal Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 39
  • 40.
    SUMMARY Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 40
  • 41.
    TWO TYPES OFSTUDENTS Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 41
  • 42.
    Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 42
  • 43.
    Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 43
  • 44.
    DECIDE: WHICH TYPEARE YOU? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 44
  • 45.
    7% Physiology Tonality 38% Words 55% Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words Tonality (35+%!) Words (7%): keys to how people represent information Physiological (55%!) Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 45
  • 46.
    Building Rapport LowersUnconscious Barriers Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 46
  • 47.
    35+%: Observe &Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 47
  • 48.
    Seminal Work: Richard Bandler & John Grinder, Frogs into Princes For a far easier Introduction: Michael Brooks, Instant Rapport (available in libraries) RESOURCES Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 48
  • 49.
    A practical applicationto inspire action: Simon Sinek Start With Why A guide leveraging Agile to transform organizations : Stephen Denning The Leader’s Guide to Radical Management APPLIED RESOURCES FOR THOSE WHO LEAD Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 49
  • 50.
    Bernie Maloney, CSP PE,CSM, CSPO Turning Strategies into Results From Startup to Beyond $100M about.me/ berniemaloney linkedin.com/in/ berniemaloney slideshare.net / berniemaloney gplus.to/ berniemaloney twitter.com/#!/ berniemaloney Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 50
  • 51.
    Ut Prosim. Namaste. FIN Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 51
  • 52.
    Rapid Rapport SVALN2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 52