This document outlines principles of conversation based on a chapter from a textbook on conversational messages. It discusses five stages of a conversational process including opening, feedforward, business, feedback, and closing. It also outlines principles of cooperation, politeness, dialogue, and turn-taking in conversation. The document then discusses conversational disclosure and guidelines for self-disclosure. Finally, it examines everyday conversations and provides guidance on small talk, excuses and apologies, compliments, and giving and receiving advice.

1. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 1)
Chapter 8:
Conversational Messages
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2. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 2)
Principles of Conversation
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 Conversation is an essential part of
interpersonal communication
 Relatively informal social interaction
 Roles of speaker and hearer are exchanged in
a nonautomatic fashion
 All parties collaborate and manage
conversation

3. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 3)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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1. The principle of process: conversation is a
five-stage developmental process

4. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 4)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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Stage One: Opening
 Greeting
 Phatic communication – small talk, establishes a
connection, opens channel for further talk
 Sets tone of conversation
 Opening references
 Opening lines

5. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 5)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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Stage Two: Feedforward
 Signals the nature of the conversation
 Opens the channels of communication
 Previews the message
 Disclaims
 Altercasts

6. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 6)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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Stage Three: Business
 Substance or focus
 Most conversations are goal directed
 Taboo topics should be avoided by outsiders

7. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 7)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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Stage Four: Feedback
 Reflect back on conversation
 Signal that business is completed
 Positive – negative
 Person focused – message focused
 Immediate – delayed
 Low monitoring – high monitoring
 Supportive – critical

8. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 8)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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Stage Five: Closing
 The goodbye
 Reveals how satisfied you are with conversation
 Can be difficult and awkward

9. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 9)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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2. Principle of cooperation
 Cooperation – you implicitly agree to try to
understand each other
 Conversational maxims – general rules to follow
 Quantity
 Quality
 Relation
 Manner
 Maxims vary culturally

10. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 10)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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3. Principle of politeness
 Tact
 Generosity
 Approbation (praise)
 Modesty
 Agreement
 Sympathy

11. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 11)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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4. Principle of dialogue
 Monologue – one person speaks and the other
listens; no real interaction
 Dialogue – two way interaction where both
participants are speaker and listener

12. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 12)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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5. Principle of turn taking
 Verbal and nonverbal cues signal conversational
turns
 Speaker cues
 Turn-maintaining
 Turn-yielding
 Listener cues
 Turn-requesting
 Turn-denying

13. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 13)
Principles of Conversation (cont.)
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5. Principle of turn taking (cont.)
 Backchanneling – communicate back to speaker
without taking over role of speaker
 Acknowledgement tokens or overlaps
 Functions
 Interruptions
 To take the stage
 Gender differences

14. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 14)
Conversational Disclosure:
Revealing Yourself
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Self-disclosure – communicating information
about yourself that you usually keep hidden
 Developing process
 Disclosure changes as relationships change
 Must be shared with another person; can’t
be intrapersonal

15. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 15)
Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
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1. Influences on self-disclosure
 Who you are
 Culture
 Gender
 Listeners
 Topic

16. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 16)
Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
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2. Rewards and dangers of self-disclosure
 Rewards
 Self-knowledge
 Communication and relationship effectiveness
 Physiological well-being
 Dangers
 Personal
 Relational
 Professional

17. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 17)
Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
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3. Guidelines for self-disclosure
Making self-disclosures
 Appropriate motivations
 Appropriate context
 Disclose gradually
 Without imposing burdens on yourself or others

18. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 18)
Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
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3. Guidelines for self-disclosure (cont.)
Facilitating and responding to disclosure
 Effective and active listening
 Support and reinforce the discloser
 Be willing to reciprocate
 Confidentiality

19. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 19)
Conversational Disclosure (cont.)
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3. Guidelines for self-disclosure (cont.)
Resisting pressure to disclose
 Don’t be pushed
 Be assertive
 Delay a decision
 Be indirect and change topics

20. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 20)
Everyday Conversations
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1. Small talk
 Topics and contexts
 Noncontroversial and innocuous
 Brief
 In-flight intimacy

21. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 21)
Everyday Conversations (cont.)
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1. Small talk (cont.)
Guidelines
 Be positive
 Watch for leave-taking cues
 Stress similarities
 Be brief but elaborate

22. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 22)
Everyday Conversations (cont.)
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2. Excuses and apologies
 Excuse – explanation designed to reduce
negative impact and maintain image
 Types of excuses
 I didn’t do it
 It wasn’t so bad
 Yes, but

23. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 23)
Everyday Conversations (cont.)
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2. Excuses and apologies (cont.)
Good and bad excuses (guidelines)
 Understand and legitimize other’s feelings
 Take responsibility
 Acknowledge your own displeasure
 Make it clear it won’t happen again

24. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 24)
Everyday Conversations (cont.)
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2. Excuses and apologies (cont.)
 Apology – expression of regret for something you
did
 Repair relationship
 Repair reputation

25. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 25)
Everyday Conversations (cont.)
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2. Excuses and apologies (cont.)
Guidelines for apologizing
 Admit wrongdoing
 Be apologetic
 Be specific
 Express understanding
 Assure it won’t happen again
 Omit excuses
 Don’t take the easy way out

26. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 26)
Everyday Conversations (cont.)
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3. Complimenting – praise, flattery
 Backhanded compliment – insult masked as a
compliment
Guidelines for complimenting
 Be real and honest
 Moderation
 Be totally complimentary
 Specific
 Be personal in your own feelings

27. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 27)
Everyday Conversations (cont.)
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3. Complimenting (cont.)
Guidelines for receiving
 Don’t deny or minimize
 Smile with eye contact
 Say thank you
 Explain why it’s important to you

28. CH 8: Conversational Messages (slide 28)
Everyday Conversations (cont.)
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3. Advice
 Meta-advice – advice about advice
 Explore options and choices
 Seek expert advice
 Delay a decision
 Giving advice
 Responding to advice