A brief familiarization with the types of writing support that CPC provides for doctoral students.

1. CPC services
for G-cube PhD students
Lawrie Hunter, CPC editor
January 12, 2023

2. Now don’t tell me!
-that you don’t have
Prof. Petchko’s excellent
and wonderful textbook:
[For deciding what and how
to write, it’s really all you need.]
PDF available free from
GRIPS Library e-book section.

3. One-stop shop: Hunter’s website https://lawriehunter.com
… and lots of self-learning opportunities in Hunter’s slideshares: https://slideshare.net/rolenzo/

4. Hunter’s CPC services for doctoral students
1. Editing
2. Mentoring
3. Presentation support
4. Mapping for complexity management
5. Style support
Meet Hunter (F2F or in Zoom) for
an initial assessment and strategy discussion.
Contact during GRIPS internet outage:
Contact during normal times:

5. 1. Editing
Hunter can edit parts of each section of your paper
so you can develop the writing style for each section.
This takes some time, but your learning will be considerable.
Hunter’s CPC services for doctoral students

6. Sample of Hunter’s editing/coded feedback comments
-from a GRIPS PhD student paper

7. Hunter’s code for mentoring work
action verb Rather than a copula verb, use an action verb for impact/clarity.
agr mistake with subject-verb agreement
awk A phrase or sentence is awkward (awkward = not smooth)
cas This language is casual, not formal (not FAE).
comb Combine sentences.
conj This is a conjunction (don’t start a sentence with it).
gr grammar mistake
link this logic link is wrong, or at least not the best choice
nom Nominalize this phrase (make it into a noun phrase)
non-std this phrasing is not standard
not true
This sentence/phrase, as written, is untrue.
e.g. In this paper, 36 randomly selected subjects were interviewed.
par
imperfect parallel structure
e.g. Some New Zealanders have been forced to live in cars, garages and under
bridges.
prox This chunk of text is not in close proximity to the chunk it's strongly related to.
red
redundant (some information has been repeated,
e.g. The temperature was also recorded as well.)
ref
pronoun reference/article reference problem
(i.e. What does this pronoun/article refer to?)
rep repetitive
rephr Rephrase this.
run-on This is a run-on sentence; it's too long to be readable.
sp spelling mistake
S-V
distance
The subject and verb are dangerously far apart.
tense
You have used the wrong verb tense (past/present/future)
e.g. Yesterday I am going to Tokushima.
topic-
stress
The first part of a sentence (or paragraph) should contain TOPIC (background, or
back-linking); the last part should contain STRESS (what you want to reveal or
emphasize)
usage
This combination of words is not standard/not central.
e.g. The country was fragmented into many domains.
vag
This phrasing is vague or ambiguous.
e.g. The dispute weakened the position of the government.
voice
Change from the passive voice to active voice, or vice versa.
e.g. The ball was hit by the batter. (Here 'voice' means change to “The batter hit the
ball.”)
windy This writing is run-on, it could and should be much shorter.
word Find a better word for your meaning.
Add something here (often an article).
verb Add a verb here.
These are the editor-mentor marks used by Hunter. PDF available on Hunter’s website.

8. Sample of Hunter’s
coded feedback
comments:
parallel structure
-from a GRIPS
PhD student paper

9. 2. Mentoring
Hunter can comment extensively on
the conformity problems and readability problems in your paper.
This is time-consuming too, but you will soon start to shine.
In this kind of mentoring, we can use coded feedback for greater learning.
Hunter’s CPC services for doctoral students

10. Sample of Hunter’s
mentoring comments
-from a GRIPS PhD student paper

11. 3. Presentation coaching
The presentation aspect of your dissertation defense is crucial
for selling your research design and results to your committee.
The latest you can start this is one month before your dissertation defense,
but the stress level is high by then.
It’s better to start this work in the first or second year of your doctoral
studies.
Hunter offers help with:
1. Powerpoint design
2. Speaking script creation
3. Speaking issues: intonation, pausing, blending.
-Hunter can record some model speaking for you too.
Hunter’s CPC services for doctoral students

12. Presentation support
Slide density and accessibility
Script style for speakability
Speech models (recordings of segments of script)
NOTE: at least one month for defense prep
NOTE: better to start in PhD year 1

13. 4. Mapping for complexity management
Information mapping instruction and support
- concept mapping
- argument mapping
- mind mapping (maybe)
Start informing yourself about mapping at https://lawriehunter.com/mapping/
and in the Mapping pull-down menu on any Hunter web page.
Hunter would love to do mapping work with you
when you encounter information complexity — or any time!
Hunter’s CPC services for doctoral students

14. Mapping your document narrative
[complexity management]
(Concept map created
with Cmap Tools)

15. Style guides (APA, CMoS, journal style)
Style sheets
Mimicry of style in model papers
(published in S’s target journal)
Model papers: require vetting by supervisor/editor
5. Style support

16. 5. Style support
Model paper
vetting
à la Hunter

17. Style support
Model paper
vetting
à la Hunter

18. Supervisor–editor liaison: student responsibility

19. Please contact Hunter freely
In ordinary times: cpc_editor@grips.ac.jp
During network collapse: hunterlawrie@gmail.com
Hunter’s slideshare:
https://slideshare.net/rolenzo/presentations/
Hunter’s website:
https://lawriehunter.com

20. Orchestrating
your
argument
Neville, C. (2010)
The complete guide to referencing and
avoiding plagiarism. 2nd ed.
Open University Press. p. 24.

21. Basic best writing practice
COHERENCE:
-early stage of writing:
-confirming your argument line using
REVERSE OUTLINES
-late stage writing (near submission)
-confirming your narrative line by making 1+
TOPIC SENTENCE PARAGRAPHs