2. Sentence Clarity
Why worry about making sentences
clear?
•To communicate effectively with the reader
•To make writing persuasive and interesting
•To show credibility and authority as a
writer
3. Common Clarity Concerns
This presentation will cover 4 topics:
• Misplaced modifiers
• Dangling modifiers
• Parallel Structures
4. Misplaced Modifiers
• Modifier
– Describes, clarifies, or gives more detail
about other words in a sentence
– Can be a word or group of words (phrase)
• Misplaced modifier
– A modifier in the wrong place in a sentence
– Makes sentences awkward, confusing, or
(unintentionally) humorous
5. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• Do these sentences have different
meanings? Why?
– The dog under the tree bit Carrie.
– The dog bit Carrie under the tree.
6. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• Sometimes modifiers are intentionally
used for comic effect:
“The other day I shot an elephant in my
pajamas. How he got in my pajamas
I’ll never know.”
– Groucho Marx
7. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• How can you correct this sentence?
– Buffy called her adorable kitten
opening the can of food and filled the
bowl.
• Process:
– What is the modifier?
– What word does it describe, clarify, or give more detail
about?
– Where should the modifier be placed?
» Modifiers go next to the word or phrase they
modify.
8. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• Misplaced modifier:
– Buffy called her adorable kitten
opening the can of food and filled the
bowl.
• Correctly placed modifier:
– Opening the can of food, Buffy called
her adorable kitten and filled the bowl.
9. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• How can you correct this sentence?
– Portia rushed to the store loaded with
cash to buy Guy’s birthday present.
• Process:
– What is the modifier?
– What word does it describe, clarify, or give more detail
about?
– Where should the modifier be placed?
» Modifiers go next to the word or phrase they
modify.
10. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• Misplaced modifier:
– Portia rushed to the store loaded with
cash to buy Guy’s birthday present.
• Correctly placed modifier:
– Portia, loaded with cash, rushed to
the store to buy Guy’s birthday
present.
11. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• One-word modifiers that limit can easily
be misplaced. These include:
– Almost, even, exactly, hardly, just, merely,
nearly, only, scarcely and simply
• To be clear, place the modifier
immediately before the word or phrase
you want to limit.
12. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• Which sentence indicates that everyone
in the class failed the exam?
– Almost everyone in the class passed
the calculus exam.
– Everyone in the class almost passed
the calculus exam.
13. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• Which sentence indicates that Jean-Luc
earned some money?
– Jean-Luc nearly earned $100.
– Jean-Luc earned nearly $100.
14. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
• Review
– Misplaced Modifier:
• modifier in the wrong place in a sentence
– Process to correct misplaced modifiers:
• What is the modifier?
• What word does it describe, clarify, or give more
detail about?
• Where should the modifier be placed?
– Modifiers go next to the word or phrase they modify.
– One-word, limiting modifiers go directly before the word
or phrase they modify
15. Dangling Modifiers
• Dangling Modifier:
– does not sensibly modify anything in its
sentence
• modifier is present, but it has nothing to modify
– often occur at the beginning or end of a
sentence
– often indicated by an –ing verb or a to + verb
phrase
16. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
• What is the modifier modifying?
– Having finished dinner, the rugby
match was turned on.
• Remember, modifiers go next to the words or
phrases they modify.
17. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
• 3 ways to fix dangling modifiers:
– Name the appropriate doer of the action as
the subject of the main clause
• Having finished dinner, Jude turned on
the rugby match.
– Place the subject of the action within the
dangling modifier:
• After Jude finished dinner, he turned on
the rugby match.
– Combine the phrase and clause.
• Jude turned on the rugby match after
finishing dinner.
18. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
• How might you correct the following sentence?
– Playing solitaire on the computer for three
hours, Michael’s paper was not finished.
• Process:
– What is the modifier?
– What word does it describe, clarify, or give more detail about?
– Do you need to insert doer?
– Where should the modifier be placed?
» Modifiers go next to the word or phrase they modify
19. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
• 3 revised sentences with connected modifiers:
– Playing solitaire on the computer for three
hours, Michael did not complete his paper.
– Because Michael played solitaire on the
computer for three hours, he did not
complete his paper.
– Michael did not complete his paper because
he played solitaire on the computer for three
hours.
20. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
• How might you revise the following
sentences?
– To work as a loan officer, an
education in financial planning is
required.
– To improve her grade, the test was
completed again.
– After reading the original study, the
article remains unconvincing.
21. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
• Possible revisions:
– To work as a loan officer, one needs
an education in financial planning.
– She repeated the test to improve her
grade.
– After reading the original study, I find
the article unconvincing.
22. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
• Review
– Dangling modifier:
• modifier is present, but it has nothing to modify
• often occur at the beginning or end of a sentence
• often indicated by an –ing verb or a to + verb phrase
– Process to correct dangling modifiers:
• Name the appropriate or logical doer of the action as the
subject of the main clause
• Place the subject of the action within the dangling modifier:
• Combine the phrase and clause.
23. Parallel Structure
• Parallel Structure:
– “Using the same pattern of words to show
that 2 or more ideas are equally important.”
– Applies to words, phrases, or clauses
– Usually use coordinating conjunctions ("and,”
"or”) to join parallel structures.
24. Parallel Structure (cont)
• With the -ing form (gerund) of verbs:
– Parallel: Mary likes hiking, swimming, and
bicycling.
• With infinitive verb phrases:
– Parallel: Mary likes to hike, to swim, and to ride a
bicycle.
OR
– Mary likes to hike, swim, and ride a bicycle.
Note: Use "to" before all the verbs in a sentence or only before the
first one—don’t mix.
25. Parallel Structure (cont)
• Clause:
– group of words containing S + V which forms
part of a sentence
• A parallel structure that begins with
clauses must continue with clauses.
– The coach told the players that they should get a lot
of sleep, not eat too much, and do some warm-up
exercises before the game.
26. Parallel Structure (cont)
Which sentences show parallel structure?
– Dino does not like to sing, dance, or acting.
– Dino does not like singing, dancing, or acting.
– The production manager was asked to write his report quickly,
accurately, and thoroughly.
– The production manager was asked to write his report quickly,
accurately, and in a detailed manner.
– Aldus was a poor student because he waited until the last
minute to study, completed his lab problems carelessly, and
lacked motivation.
– Aldus was a poor student because he waited until the last
minute to study, was always completing his lab problems
carelessly, and his motivation was low.
27. Parallel Structure (cont)
• How can you correct this sentence?
The sales rep expected that she would
present her product at the meeting, that there
would be time for her to show her slide
presentation, and that questions would be
asked by prospective buyers.
28. Parallel Structure (cont)
• Parallel:
– The salesman expected that he would
present his product at the meeting, that there
would be time for him to show his slide
presentation, and that prospective buyers
would ask him questions.
» Each clause starts with “that” + subject + “would” +
verb
29. Parallel Structure (cont)
• Lists after a Colon:
– Be sure to keep all the elements in a list in
the same form.
– What’s wrong with this sentence?
– The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find
word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and
looking up irregular verbs.
30. Parallel Structure (cont)
Proofreading strategies for parallel structure:
• Skim your paper, pausing at "and" and "or." Check on
each side of these words to see if the joined items are
parallel.
• If you have several items in a list, put them in a column.
• Read your writing out loud. Listen to the sound of the
items in a list or the items being compared. Do you hear
the same kinds of sounds? Do your hear a “rhythm”?
– If something breaks that rhythm or repetition of sound, check if
it needs to be made parallel.
Key Concepts: This slide reviews the reasons that sentence clarity is an important part of writing. The facilitator may choose to ask the opening question and invite responses from participants. Communication is the most important function of sentence clarity. For example, a new computer that comes with unclear directions for setting it up may cause errors and frustration for its new owner. Persuasion is also important. If a job applicant writes a cover letter with unclear, confusing sentences, the applicant will have trouble persuading an employer that he or she is the most qualified for the job. Finally, clear, well-phrased sentences can demonstrate a writer ’s credibility and authority --the mastery of the subject matter and the competency to communicate well to others.
Rationale: This slide establishes the four clarity concerns that will be covered in this presentation. Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: The formal definitions of modifiers and misplaced modifiers are explained in this slide. Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: The examples in this slide illustrate the importance of the modification phrase or word group. The facilitator may ask students to explain the difference in meaning between the two sentences. The first sentence explains, “ That dog under that tree bit Carrie”--the dog is presently located under the tree. The second sentence indicates that the act of biting Carrie occurred under the tree. Depending on the placement of the modification phrase, “under the tree,” the meaning of a sentence can change dramatically. While this is a simple example to illustrate the importance of modifying phrases, the facilitator may invite students to imagine the confusion misplaced modifiers can cause in directions, legal documents, or business letters. The facilitator may also invite students to think of other sentences where misplaced modifiers create confusion or ambiguity. Click mouse to advance slide.
Example: Occasionally, misplaced modifiers can be used for comic effect, as in this famous example from the comedian Groucho Marx. The facilitator may note that “in my pajamas” is the modifying phrase in this example. Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity : The facilitator may ask participants to point out the problem with the first sentence—the kitten is opening the can of tuna. Unless the kitten has opposable thumbs, this is an unlikely scenario. The participant may then ask what the modifying phrase is here— ”opening the can of tuna.” This phrase needs to be as close as possible to what it modifies—in this case, Buffy. This slide also offers a process that students can use to help correct misplaced modifiers. The facilitator may wish to work through this process on this example with students or have them work in small groups. Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: This slide shows the example sentence and offers one option for correction. Another correct option is, “Buffy, opening the can of tuna, called her adorable kitten and filled the food bowl.” A series of verb phrases would also be correct: “Buffy opened the can of tuna, called her adorable kitten, and filled the food bowl.” Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity: Again, the facilitator may ask participants to define the problem with the first sentence: the store is loaded with cash. The facilitator may wish to have students work through this example in small groups. The next slide will present a corrected version of the sentence. Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: The slide shows the example sentence and offers one option for correction. The modifying phrase, “loaded with cash,” needs to be placed as close as possible to what it modifies--Portia. The slide offers one correct option; another is “Loaded with cash, Portia rushed to the store to buy Guy’s birthday gift.” Click mouse to advance slide.
Key Concepts: Not all modification problems are in the form of a phrase. These eight words can also cause confusion within sentences when they are placed next to words that they are not meant to modify. Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity: The facilitator may ask students (individually or in small groups) to consider the meaning of each sentence and answer the slide ’s final question. The second sentence indicates that everyone in the class failed the exam because “almost” modifies the verb “passed.” Everyone “almost passed”--they came close to passing but did not make the grade. In the first sentence, “almost” modifies “everyone.” ”Almost everyone” passed--most people passed, but a few did not. Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity: Again, the facilitator may ask participants (individually or in small groups) to answer the slide ’s final question. In the second sentence, “nearly” modifies “$100.” Therefore, “John earned nearly $100”--not quite $100, but perhaps $98. In the first sentence, “nearly” modifies the verb “earned.” “John nearly earned” the money, but he failed to earn it. Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: This slide reviews the definition of misplaced modifier and the process students can use to correct them. Click mouse to advance slide.
Key Concepts: This slide offers a formal description of dangling modifiers. Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity: The facilitator may ask students (individually or in small groups) what the underlined modifier describes. It should described the person who finished eating and turned on the television, but this person is absent. This sentence contains a dangling modifier--it sounds like the rugby game just finished dinner. Click mouse to advance slide.
Key Concepts: There are several ways to repair sentences with dangling modifiers. This slide shows three ways to correct the sentence from the preceding slide. The first way should be a review of the previous principle of misplaced modifiers—the modifier phrase “having finished dinner” must be right next to Jude. Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity: The facilitator may choose to have participants describe the problem with the sentence—Michael ’s paper has played solitaire for three hours--and offer suggestions for correction, using the process presented. The next slide presents 3 corrected options. Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: The first option corrects the sentence by placing Michael, the doer of the action, as the subject of the sentence. The second option corrects the sentence by placing “Michael” within the modification phrase. The third option corrects the sentence by eliminating the introductory clause and making it a subordinate clause at the end of the sentence. Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity: The facilitator may again have participants (individually or in small groups) identify the error within each sentence. The next slide presents corrected versions of these sentences. Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: This slide presents one possible revision for each sentence. The facilitator should stress that there are other options, discussing these with students briefly. The problem in the first sentence is the lack of a subject—a person who will work as a loan officer. It is corrected here by inserting the pronoun “one.” The problem in the second sentence is the similar to the first—the agent (person doing the action in the verbs) is missing. To correct it, the sentence is rewritten in the active voice (it was passive) with “she” as the subject/agent. Again, the third sentence is missing a subject, and this example problems “I.” Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: This slide reviews the definition of dangling modifiers and a process students can use to correct them. Click mouse to advance slide.
Key Concepts: This slide offers a formal description of parallel structure. Click mouse to advance slide.
Key Concepts : This slide offers illustrates two common types of parallel constructions with forms of verbs. Click mouse to advance slide.
Key Concepts: This slide offers a formal description of how clauses are used in parallel structures. Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity: The facilitator may ask students (individually or in small groups) to identify the sentences (out of the three pairs of sentences) that show parallel structure in the way they list the three words or phrases. In the first pair of sentences, the second sentence is parallel: “singing, dancing, acting” are all –ing forms of the verbs. The first sentence starts off with infinitives ( to + verb) but ends with a gerund (-ing form) In the second pair of sentences, the first sentence is parallel: “quickly, accurately, thoroughly” are all adverbs ending in –ly . The second sentence begins with adverbs but ends in a prepositional phrase (“in a detailed manner”). In the third pair of sentences, the first sentence is parallel: there are three verbs phrases in the past tense form. The second sentence mixes verb forms. Click mouse to advance slide.
Activity: The facilitator may again have participants (individually or in small groups) identify the error within each sentence. The next slide presents a corrected version of this sentences. Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: This slide presents a corrected versions of the previous sentence. Click mouse to advance slide.
Key Concepts and Activity: This slide presents an important point about parallelisms after colons. The facilitator may ask participants to identify the problem with the example sentence. The problem is with the final phrase—it introduces a new verb structure. One way to revise this sentence for parallel structure: “The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and irregular verbs.” Click mouse to advance slide.
Rationale: This slide offers several strategies that participants can use when proofreading their papers. Click mouse to advance slide.
