Every wednesday, as part of my second year medical student e

1. Every Wednesday, as part of my second-year medical student
experience in Rockford, I travel north to see patients at the UIC
University Primary Care Clinic at Rockton. Early this past
winter,
I was handed the chart of a new patient and I was told I was
seeing
him for “stomachaches.” I closed the door to the sterile white
examination room to face a thin, pale young boy, fourteen years
old
and sitting on the exam table with his knees pulled to his chest.
His
head jumped as the exam door snapped briskly shut. I
introduced
myself and crouched at eye-level next to him. He tightened the
grip
on his knees. “What’s wrong?” Silence filled the bleach-tinged
air,
and his eyes stared at me, unblinking.
“He’s not eating anything, says his stomach hurts.” The voice
came from the mother in the corner of the room. I hadn’t even
noticed her as I entered, all my attention focused immediately
on the
tensed figure on the bed. “For the past two weeks, it’s been
nothing
but cereal, and only a handful of that.” I listened to the mother
sketch a history of nausea, stomachaches, and absent stares. It
gave
the impression of more than the typical stomachache, and I
plied
ahead, waiting to finally ask the key question that slipped the
knot

2. on this mystery and sent the bacteria or virus or swallowed
garden
flower culprit plummeting into my lap. The knot refused to
give.
“Where did he get the bruises?” I ventured, hoping to unearth
some bleeding disorder with a forgotten manifestation of
gastrointestinal symptoms. The mother looked at the scattered
marks
around the red-head’s temples through her friendly librarian
glasses,
then up at me.
“He’s very active, normally, and gets into all sorts of spots.
He comes in from the woods with new cuts and scrapes every
night.
You should have seen him after the big rains, all mud and torn
jeans.” With this she looked back at the alabaster boy huddling
on
the bed and smiled with the memory of his past spirit.
A professor teaching our physical diagnosis class told us we
should know 80 percent of the cases coming before us by
hearing the
•
descriptive
details set the
scene and focus
on the patient
• first-person point of view
•
dialogue
provides infor-

3. mation narrator
did not know
•
Narrator
introduces a
key conflict into
the plot
•
Mother uses
present and
past perfect
tenses to refer
to earlier
actions by her
son; narrator
uses past tense
to describe
mother’s
actions in the
exam room
Jeff Gremmels, “The Clinic”
history alone. This case was quickly proving itself the undesired
20 percent. I moved to the physical exam. The boy was not keen
on
the concept of my examining him, and made his desires very
clear as
he refused every request to look up at me or to open his
clamped
mouth. I wanted to solve this puzzle and began to insist more

4. forcefully until finally, with his surprisingly strong mother, I
managed to pull his loose shirt over his head. Beneath that shirt
lay
pale doughy skin, its spongy texture belying the taut
musculature
beneath. On the surface of the skin was a continuation of the
light
bruising around his temples. As the mother sat down and the
boy
resumed his curled-ball posture, my eyes picked out almost one-
dozen
small, red “U”s, with two small bars between the uprights like a
German umlaut. Raised and bright, more like a rash or burn than
a bruise, I hoped these would be the clues I needed to solve my
mystery of the afternoon. Further examination revealed nothing
more than a continuation of the pattern down to his ankles.
I combed my cloudy memories of past lectures for anything
reminiscent of this strange mark as I walked up the hall to find
a
doctor. The search failed to exhume any diseases with ties to
Germanic vowels.
As I explained my cryptic findings to the attending physician,
I saw her eyes quickly open, contradicting my belief that she
was
actually asleep. Pushing insurance papers towards me, she
quickly
stated, “I’m going to look at him. I want you to have the mother
fill
these out in the waiting room.” I followed her white lab coat to
the
exam room and completed my assigned mission. I returned from
the waiting room—despite the mother’s distant protests of
having
already completed the same forms—to find the attending

5. physician
on the phone and admitting my patient directly to hospital care.
Twenty-five minutes later, I again sat in her office, listening to
the diagnosis. “The wheels of a lighter, a disposable lighter,
leave
those two umlaut marks—nothing else looks like it. It’s almost
always abuse in his age group.” I couldn’t think of any reply,
and we
spent several minutes gazing into the carpet, silent and
introspective.
•
Events in
exam room
presented in
chronological
order
•
transitions
increase
suspense, then
lead to climax
of plot
I left the clinic alone and went directly to my apartment,
missing
the evening lecture on “Insulin and Diabetic Control.”
Four days later, I went to the hospital to see the boy who was
once my patient. I read the psychiatrist’s chart notes slowly,
rereading the passages describing the boy’s abuse by his

6. stepfather
and his three-year history of self-mutilation and depression. It
never
entered my mind, so avid for a solution, to ask for a history of
hospitalizations or illness, and I felt the cavernous shadows of
my
own missing knowledge hinting at their depth. My focus had
always
been on the disease, the physiologic atrocity accosting the
patient’s
unsuspecting organs and cells. This was my first glimpse into an
arena I had utterly neglected—the patient’s psyche—quietly
present
in everyone and in every disease.
Entering the boy’s room, I found him asleep, an IV pole
standing sentry over his frail visage. I picked up a crumpled
note
from the floor, smoothing it to reveal the young patient’s shaky
handwriting:
I wish I were a paper airplane,
Soaked in gas, shooting red flames,
burning with an orange glow, over
all the people below.
I could fall through the sky
like a comet or a meteorite.
I could become a UFO,
become someone I did not know.
Years of lectures, labs, and research could not match the
education I received in five days with this single boy.
•
More transi-

7. tions lead to
narrator’s final
understanding
of events
•
Narrator’s main
point in telling
the story
Jeff Gremmels, “The Clinic.” Reprinted by permission of the
author.
Narrative Worksheet; Week One
In preparation for your Narrative Essay (due Week Two),
choose one of the Writing Suggestions and complete the
following tasks:
1. Read pp, 289- 293 and choose one of the following pre-
writing activities: Free writing, Listing, Clustering, Cubing or
Questioning. If you choose to handwrite your activity, take a
photograph with your phone and attach it along with your
submission.
2. Create an Outline (Follow graphic below) It should be one
sentence for each step.
3. Compose an introductory paragraph and highlight or
underline the main idea
Choose one of the following topics:
· What personal goal or achievement are you most proud of?
Share the story of the moment you reached that goal.
· What one event brought you closer to your family? Describe
that day.
· Was there an event in your life where you made a mistake or

8. misjudged a situation? Describe how the event occurred and
what you learned from it.
Background
A narrative should share a larger lesson with the audience
beyond simply retelling an event. A strong narrative focuses on
a single event or conflict and builds from introduction to body
to a resolution. Descriptive language brings the reader into the
experience; consider carefully how you describe each scene.
Show—don’t tell. Telling informs the reader by stating facts.
“She was angry.” Show describes a scene. “She grabbed the
wilted flowers and threw them in his face.” Telling repeats a list
or series of actions, often without stopping to describe what
happened. Showing shares concrete sensory details to capture
the scene in which the event takes place.
Literacy Narratives pages 83 - 85
Generating Ideas and Text, Chapter 27 pages 289 - 297
Learning Objectives: Compose, define, describe and organize
elements of a narrative.
Rhetorical Strategies
As you plan your essay, you will want to think about the
rhetorical strategies by which you will present your ideas and
evidence to readers. These strategies, sometimes called
rhetorical modes or techniques, help a writer organize evidence,
connect facts into a sequence, and provide clusters of
information necessary for conveying a purpose or an argument.
You might choose to analyze the cause of an outcome, compare
one thing to another, classify your facts into categories, define a
key term, describe a person, place, or phenomenon, explain how

9. a process works, or narrate a pertinent event or experience.
Cause and effect
Focusing on causes helps a writer think about why something
happened; focusing on effects helps a writer think about what
might or could happen. Cause is oriented toward the future;
effect looks back to the past.
Compare and contrast
Comparisons look for similarities between things; contrasts look
for differences. In most uses of this rhetorical strategy, you will
want to consider both similarities and differences—that is, you
will want to compare and contrast.
Classify and divide
Classifying and dividing involves either putting things into
groups or dividing up a large block into smaller units.
Define
Defining involves telling your reader what something means—
and what it does not. It involves saying what something is—and
what it is not. As a strategy, defining means making sure you—
and your readers—understand what you mean by a key term.
Description
Description uses sensory details to help the reader "see" the
event you are writing. When writers describe a person, place, or
thing, they indicate what it looks like and often how it feels,
smells, sounds, or tastes. As a strategy, describing involves
showing rather than telling.
Process
Explains how something is done by sharing in order step by step
to complete the process. It can be everyday processes like how
to write a letter, how to play basketball, or how to make French
fries, or more complex actions like how to change a hard drive.

10. Narration
Narration may be the most fundamental strategy. We tell stories
about ourselves, about our families, and about friends and
neighbors. We tell stories to make a point, or to illustrate an
argument.