First draft of our five minute short film. Any criticism would be appreciated.

1. Loose Change
By
Jaspar Cumiskey & Charlie Pickering
An Original Screenplay
C/O Hampstead Fine Arts
02075860312

2. 1 O/S 1
Sound of banter and loud boisterous teenagers.
SID
Not gonna lie she’s dank
LEO
Mate that’s our history teacher
CRAIG
She’s about fifty, thats dutty
2 EXT.STREET.AFTERNOON 2
Three boys strolling down the street, just after a long
day of college.
CRAIG
You should really stop
objectifying women Sid, your
language is vulgar. In the words
of Emily Pankurst "I would rather
be a rebel than a slave"
SID
Craig fuck off...You’ve done one
lesson on feminism and now you
think youre a fucking
suffragette.
LEO
Sid do you even know how to spell
suffragette?
Leo puts his right arm around Sids neck and puts him in a
playful headlock. Sid wriggles his way out of the headlock
with a grin on his face.
SID
You might be taking the piss
nowbut come tonight im gonna be a
man, we all are!
LEO
what the fuck are you on about
Sid you plonkaaaa!
CRAIG
Wait are you serious Sid?
SID
Two words my friends...Paradise
Valley
Sid pulls himself up onto a massive wheelie bin and starts
speeking heroically and profoundly.
(CONTINUED)

3. CONTINUED: (2) 2.
SID
For too long have we been
oppressed by the devil spawn that
is the cherry. For too long have
we been denied by the sexually
overt women. Well this is our
time my friends, my brothers.
Everything changes...are you
ready...to be a man!
Leo and craig stare open mouthed shocked by what hey have
just seen.
LEO
what are you actually on about
sid you dopey fuck.
SID
Paradise Valley!!! A place were
all your dreams and sexual needs
come true.
CRAIG
Don’t wanna burst your bubble but
that sounds like a brothel.
SID
NO!!! craig. This is why you will
die a virgin. You got no sexual
drive.
3 INT.SHOP.AFTERNOON 3
The lads walk into Londis to get money out of the cash
machine. One by one they line up to use the machine.
CRAIG
Fuck....I dont have any money,
wheres Barry he owes me a tenner?
SID
clasic Craig not being prepared,
get out the way.
Sids balance is 9 pounds 30, Sid huffs and hits the
machine.
SID
Umm you think the will take a
card?
LEO
...its a brothel...
leo checks his bank account, with Sid lurking over his
shoulder. Leo’s account balance is 21 pounds.
(CONTINUED)

4. CONTINUED: (2) 3.
SID
Ah when do you not have money?
lend me a fiver?
LEO
listen Sid everytime you have
borrowed money from me I have
never got it back.
SID
well whose fault is that then
Sid then looks at Craig accusingly.
4 EXT.BARREN AREA. NIGHT 4
Google maps point to paradise valley
SID
And here we go... Paradise.. v..
Sid Leo and Craig stre out at a berren landscpae,
a little shimmer of light can be seen in the middle of the
barren lanscape.
CRAIG
did you see that!
The boys look intensly into the distance
The light shimmers again.
LEO
wow
Walking in unison the boys move towards the shimmering
light
Sid moves ahead of the group his pace quickening, the
others soon follow suit.
They stand in a cirlce all staring at a fixed point on the
ground.
You see an array of change adding up to 4 pound 62 pence
between them.
Sid bends over to pick it up.
SID
Ahh sweet
LEO
Wait, hold up, dont touch it, you
owe me money.
(CONTINUED)

5. CONTINUED: (2) 4.
SID
I dont owe you jack shit.
LEO
Why do you get it? We should
share it out.
SID
Typical Leo, you loooove Sharing
dont you.
LEO
What are you on about?
CRAIG
Guys chill
LEO
No NO No i wanna know what he’s
talking about. You got something
to say to me.
SID
You knew I fancied her!
LEO
Oh for fuck sake your still going
on about this
CRAIG
About what?
SID
stay out of this Craig
LEO
You really wanna do this now?
SID
I wanted to do this ages ago!
LEO
Why cant you just accept the fact
that she liked me and not you.
SID
Well if she liked you so much why
are you here trying to get laid
with us?
LEO
Maybe I already have, maybe I
just feel sorry for you.
Craig says curiously, while shifting closer to Leo
(CONTINUED)

6. CONTINUED: (3) 5.
CRAIG
Really, what was it like?
LEO
Mate it was fucking Men-
Sid attacks Leo from behind, stunning him, Leo collapeses
to the ground and smacks his head, knocking i’m out.
Sid stands over Leo’s crumpled body, smiling
Craig looks at Sid but Sid continues to look at Leo’s
crumpled body.
SID
youre not gonna tell anyone are
you Craig
CRAIG
Youre a fucking nutter
Craig grabs the 4 pound 62 pence and runs into the
shrubburey of ’Paradise Valley’. Sid chases in hot
pursuit. Craig then hides in the shrubb. Sid scours the
deserted landscape looking for Craig.
SID
CRAIGGG. WHERE ARE YOU???? COME
OUT AND PLAY!!!
Craig stays dead silent, watching Sid walking closer and
closer towards him, with a menacing expression on his face
and a shard of glass in his right hand.
Car headlights are seen in the distance. Craig notices
them first, they are slowly getting closer and closer to
the shrubb.
Sid then turns towards the car which has now pulled up
next to him. The car is a black 4 by 4with tinted windows.
Craig retreats back into his hidey hole.
SID
(o/s)
Who the fuck are you?
Off screen A bottle is heard smashing against Sids head,
then we hear a thump of him falling.
Craig peers out of his hole and see’s a crumpled, bloody
Sid lying next to the car door. Craig quickly hides again,
in shock. He then peers up again to see the stranger. The
man is standing three feet away from Craig, looking down
at him. He wears full addidas track suit, gold chains, he
gold teeth and slicked back hair.
(CONTINUED)

7. CONTINUED: (4) 6.
THE CHINA MEN
Im 4 pound sixty two pence short.
CRAIG
oh...umm...is it this?
Craig reaches out with the money in his hand.
THE CHINA MEN
ah good boy....You need a lift?
The China Man starts walking quickly towards his car.
Craig follows.
CRAIG
Ah yes please...
Craig goes over to Leo’s limp body and tries to pick him
up
THE CHINA MAN
Thats a shame.
The gangster smiles and slowly rolls up his window before
driving off and leaving him.
Craig watches as the car drives off into the distants and
disappears.