A Critique of the Proposed National Education Policy Reform
Unit 16 pitch feedback
1. Lucy Pratt 13u 03/10/18
Unit 16- Pitch Feedback
Idea 1- From Outside In
Www- Title andlog-line- bothleadtointerpretations,
therefore gettingthe audience thinking- thoughtprovoking.
Metaphoric
Www- costume ideas- differentclothesfordifferentdays.
Moods.
Ebi/www- small Targetaudience- firstlythe clientwas
concernedthatthe ideawas tooniche but once I statedit was
for educational purposestheyrealiseditwasnotfor profitbut
to raise awarenesswhichtheyliked.
www- setonmarketplace as well asform andcontent-
schools,naturalistic- familiar
Ebi- clientswouldneedtobe generousandhumbletowantto
take thisfilmondue to the lackof profit- don’tneedto
change thisbut keepitinmind
Www- match cuts linkingthe drafts workedwell- see the full
idea
Www- audio- setthe tone of the film, sloweddown,dreary
daysfor the character, howshe justneedstoget throughthe
day- audiocoupledwithshottype ideasletthe clientgeta
sense of thisidea.
www- positiveendingtoa deepandemotional film
More to consider- focusonthe copyrightaspectof thisfilmas
itsname and premise soundsalittle likeDisney’sinsideout.
Thiswas the strongestidea- more detail andmore passionbehindit
Presenting
Www- goodbodylanguage
Passionate aboutthe ideas
Good eye contact
Spoke well- clear
Ownfeedback- Ebi- less‘umm’s
Idea2- HelpingOurFriends
Www- detail ontargetaudience- veryspecific
Ebi- needa widerappeal- suchaswomen,oldpeopleand
children
Www- couldsee thiswasthe lessdevelopedone throughthe
conclusion- mightnotbe able todo this- clientlikesthe
decisiontodevelopidea1as the time frame wouldbe too
small to filmidea2
Www- can see iton terrestrial TV- suchas ITV- itis a
commercial idea
More to consider- focusoncopyrightissueswhenitcomesto
programssuch as superet andanimal hospital
My thoughtsonmy feedback:
The title andlog-line made the client
thinkwhichexactlymyintentionwas.I
wantedthemalone tosparkthoughts
and appeal tomy audience.Thiswas
the same for my costume ideas.I
understandwhere the clientwas
comingfrom(withthe targetaudience)
and I feel like Iwillthinkaboutother
audience likelytobenefitfromthisfilm
ideaand create a page for extra
audiencesto consider.I knowthat
profitissomethingthatclientswould
lookforbut thisfilmismore
educational andIdon’twant to make it
for money.Alternatively,if itgetsused
oftenbyschools,anyothersimilarfilms
I make could have a small fee to watch
and be available to students.This could
leadon to websitesforhelpingtackle
mental health etc.My positive endingis
perfectasthe filmbeingdeepgivesthe
audience whorelate the hope they
need. Iterms of legal and ethical issue I
will considerthe clientscomment
whenI put it all together.
Whenthe clientsaidI hada lotof
passionformy ideaswhentalkingabout
them, I wasverypleasedasI wasglad I
got that across to the client.Ifeel that
anyone makinga filmlike idea1,they
needtohave the passionforitand want
it to make a different,sothiswas
perfectfeedbacktoshowcase this.
I understandthatthe target audience
was veryspecificandif Iwas goingto
developitfurtherI wouldput together
a detailedpiece ofwork about the
broader audience I want to target. I
had thoughtaboutidea2 developing
intoa commercial TV ideaso the fact
the clientstatedthiswasgreat.The fact
that the clientagreedonthe ideathat
shouldbe developedfurtherwasgood
as it wasnot justbecause of the content
of the pitch,butthe time frame needed
comparedto the one we have. If I was
goingto developthisfurtherIwould
considerthe copyrightissuesthe client
has stated.