Let’s face it. We’ve been created with a multitude of moods, passions, and desires. They all need managing. They must be under control or they will end up controlling us. Yes we can avoid peer and social pressures in our lives. You can be in control but only if you allow God to be on your side.

1. Man and Self-Control
Peer and societal pressure have contributed to men doing what they had not ever planned to do.
Most men would be under so much pressure from their peers to do things that they will later regret
about. The question is: Must you do what others are doing or you can be self-control yourself?
The other day I was speaking to a young man who indulged in sex at a very early age. He was open
enough to tell me that he regretted what he did. He was not in control himself. There are very many
other people that have burnt their fingers in similar circumstances. Can we in control of what we
plan and do? Yes we can.
Galatians 5:16-17; I say then, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the
flesh. For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the
flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don't do what you want.(HCSB)
When the fruit of self-control is not evident in our lives, we’re vulnerable to all kinds of relational
ruptures. When the Spirit controls us, we will demonstrate restraint in our lives.
Galatians 5:22-23; But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.(HCSB)
What is Self-control?
This characteristic focuses more on me instead of on my relationships with other people. I can
exercise self-control when I’m the only person in the house. In fact, sometimes the hidden, private
moment when no one else is looking is precisely when I need self-control the most.
However, if we properly exercise self-control, it will benefit those around us. In some ways, we
might consider this virtue the most important because without self-control the works of the flesh
cannot be overcome. Aristotle once said, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him
who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” Self-control comes from
the word “strength” and means, “one who holds himself in.” To be self-controlled is to not live in
bondage to the desires, passions and appetites of the flesh. My body is a good servant but a
miserable master.
Have you ever considered taking a Self-control Inventory?
Are you struggling with self-control in any of these areas that are addressed in the Book of
Proverbs?
• Uncontrolled lust. Proverbs 6:26; For a prostitute's fee is only a loaf of bread, but an adulteress
goes after [your] very life.(HCSB)
• Uncontrolled spending. Proverbs 21:20; Precious treasure and oil are in the dwelling of the
wise, but a foolish man consumes them.(HCSB)
• Uncontrolled ambition. Proverbs 23:4; Don't wear yourself out to get rich; stop giving your
attention to it.(HCSB)
• Uncontrolled drinking. Proverbs 23:29-30; Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has
conflicts? Who has complaints? Who has wounds for no reason? Who has red eyes? Those who
linger over wine, those who go looking for mixed wine.(HCSB)
• Uncontrolled anger. Proverbs 29:11; A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man holds it
in check.(HCSB)

2. Is it possible to display self-control in our self-centered and self-seeking culture? Most all of us
need it and want it, but some of us may feel like there’s no hope. Perhaps you’ve tried to control
these areas before but have struck out so many times that you just feel like giving up.
With that in mind, it’s no surprise to find in Paul’s brief letter to Titus numerous admonitions on
self-control. Instead of acting crazy with no restraint at all, Paul challenges people to “be in their
right minds” by being controlled by the Spirit of God.
1. Titus 1:8; but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, righteous, holy, self-
controlled,(HCSB)
2. Titus 2:1; But you must speak what is consistent with sound teaching.(HCSB). Titus is to
teach the older men to be self-controlled.
3. Titus 2:2; Older men are to be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in
faith, love, and endurance.(HCSB)
4. Titus 2:4; so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and
children,(HCSB)
5. Titus 2:6; Likewise, encourage the young men to be sensible. (HCSB) Titus is to be an
example to young men and to encourage them to be self-controlled.
Ways that we can both say “no” to that which is destructive and say, “yes” to what is helpful.
1. Admit you have a problem with self-control.
2. Yield to the lordship of Christ.
3. Cultivate the disciplines of Bible reading and prayer.
4. Invest in spiritual friendships.
5. Curtail bad influences. Avoid those things that tempt us. 1 Corinthians 15:33; Do not be
deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."(HCSB)
6. Practice good habits.
7. Welcome gracious correction.
Finally
Let’s face it. We’ve been created with a multitude of moods, passions, and desires. They all need
managing. They must be under control or they will end up controlling us. Friends, there is no way
we can develop self-control on our own. There are more than enough people pulling us back into
unrestrained living. The good news is that you don’t have to give in to them, or into your own
desires. As you submit and surrender to the Spirit’s control, you can experience freedom and power
that you’ve not seen before.
Yes we can avoid peer and social pressures in our lives. You can be in control but only if you allow
God to be on your side.