1. You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing…

2. after they have tried everything else. Winston Churchill

3. If I’m reading this graph correctly…

4. I’d be very surprised. Stephen Colbert

5. I like going to the park and watching the children run around…

6. because they don’t know I’m shooting blanks. Emo Phillips

7. Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.