1. 读书笔记《新家庭如何塑造人》
The New Peoplemaking by Virginia Satir
Recommended by Mirror Ni
1 绪论
影响家庭生活的四个关键因素：
• 自我价值感
• 沟通
• 家庭系统
• 社会联系
The four key elements which impacts family life are:
• Self-value
• Communication
• Family system
• Relationship with the society
2 你拥有怎样一个家庭
有两类家庭：问题家庭与和谐家庭。
在问题家庭里，人与人之间无友谊可言，更谈不上欢乐，大家都忍受煎熬，只是履行义务，
甚至带来生理上的不适。
在和谐家庭里，充满生机，人们可以自由地倾诉，跨越年龄的界限，自由地表现出爱意，随
意地吐露自己的想法。甚至房间也是色彩丰富的，让生活在里面的人得到享受。
一个例子，孩子打碎了一个杯子。在问题家庭中，这种情况会引发半小时的训斥，孩子嚎啕
大哭。在和谐家庭中，父母给孩子拿个创可贴，让孩子用扫帚把地上碎片打扫干净，然后再
给孩子一个杯子。
问题家庭会变得和谐，但是需要决心和行动，进行改变。
There are two kinds of families, problem family and harmonious family.
In a problem family, there is neither friendship among family members, nor happiness. Everybody
undertakes torment. Family life only means obligation to family members. It even causes physical
sick.
A harmonious family is full of vitality. Family members could confide in each other, show love as
well as talk on their thoughts, over any obstacles including age. The room, in a harmonious family,
is usually colorful, which enjoys persons living inside.
For example, a child breaks a cup. In problem family, such a case causes scolding from parents
2. which will last over half an hour. It will end with the child's crying on his eye out. However, in
harmonious family, parent will give a Band-Aid to the child, tell the child to clean the ground
himself and give him a new cup at last.
We must believe that any problem family will turn to harmonious one. But we must take actions
with determination to make that happen.
3 自我价值——被忽视了的罐子
自尊，或者说自我价值。正直、诚实、责任感、同情心等优秀品质在高自尊的人上往往充分
体现。而低自尊的人往往自我封闭，自我否定，不信任，感到恐惧。
情绪低落和低自尊是不同概念。高自尊的人也会情绪低落，但不会回避与掩饰，而会乐观战
胜危机。
建立高自尊的两个练习：
1. 闭上眼睛，想想现在的心境。怎么看自己，身上在发生什么，觉得自己表现如何？
2. 邀请信任的人，互相倾诉自己的感情。被倾诉者只感谢对方而不做任何判断。
培养自我价值，需要氛围。赏识个人的特点，从不吝啬对别人的爱，不需要中规中矩。
例子：孩子捧回一束花。和谐家庭中，母亲温和的说：“告诉妈妈，这么漂亮的花是从哪儿
来的呢？”问题家庭中，母亲用讯问的口气说：“你是在邻居的花园里摘的吧？”
Self-pride is self-value. Good characteristics are usually shown on a person with high self-pride,
including honesty, accountability and sympathy. On the contrary, a person with low self-pride
usually closes himself, evaluates himself negatively, doubts others, and feels fears.
low mood is a different concept from low self-pride. A person with high self-pride will be in low
mood also. But, instead of shunning and disguising it, he will be optimistic that he can overcome
the crisis.
Two exercises, which help to establish high self-pride:
1. Close your eyes, and think about your current mind situation. Ask your self, "how do you
