A Learning Night talk by Rachel So on the psychology of getting people to like you

1. Chapter 5 Liking:The Friendly Thief
from Influence by Robert B. Cialdini
Presented by: Ryan Andaya, Trang Bui, Jessica Cha, Lorena Diaz, Paul Riddle, and Rachel So

2. Definition and Strategies
Rule: We prefer to say yes to requests of people we know and like.
Compliance practitioners use this rule apply different strategies to get us to like
them.
Liking strategies:
1. Physical Attractiveness
2. Similarity
3. Compliments
4. Contact and Cooperation
5. Conditioning and Association

3. Strategy #1: Physical Attractiveness
What is considered attractive?

4. Physical Attractiveness continued...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=guBwZhr5jW4

5. Concept: “We like people who are similar to us”
Think of someone you like (your significant other or best
friend).
Does he/she share something in common with you?
Such as: similar backgrounds, interests, personality
traits, religions, political views, and experiences. How
does it impact what you think of them?
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8RHtpHG2lQ
Strategy #2: Similarity “Birds of a feather”

6. Similarity continued...
Studies have shown that we are more likely to help
those who dress like us.
We tend to respond more favorably to the people who
we perceive to be like us.
For example, car salesmen are trained to mirror and
match our body languages, tones, and verbal styles to
get us to buy their cars!!!
Think of an example of how a salesman/saleswoman
tried to act like us.

7. Strategy #3: Compliments
Concept: The information that someone fancies us can be a bewitchingly
effective device for producing return liking and willing compliance.
Beware: When people flatter us, they want something from us.
We are suckers for flattery even if we know that the flatterer is trying to
manipulate us. Although there are limits to how gullible we are, generally, we
tend to believe praise and like those who give it even if most of the time it is
untrue.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVw06f6l6o4
(Jones & Wortman, 1973), (Byrne, Rasche, & Kelley, 1974).

8. Compliments continued...
Experiment: Groups of men were given comments from a
person who needed a favor. Some were given either positive or
negative comments while others got a mix of both.
Interesting Findings:
1. Men who received positive comments liked the flatterer best.
2. Still true even when subjects realized they were being
manipulated.
3. Praises did not have to be true. Untrue praises received the
same amount of liking as when they were true.

9. Strategy #4: Contact and Cooperation
Concept: UNCONSCIOUSLY, we often don’t realize
that our attitude toward something has been influenced
by the number of times we have been exposed to it in
the past.
1. Contact
Examples:
- Experiment by Bornstein, Leone & Galley in 1987
- Race

10. Contact and Cooperation continued...
** Cooperative learning exposes students to
other members outside of their group to
discourage rivalry and attempt to minimize
competitiveness.
2. Cooperation:
Examples:
- Jigsaw classroom: to increase
cross-group friendships
- “good cop, bad cop”

11. Strategy #5: Conditioning and Association
Concept: We have been UNCONSCIOUSLY conditioned to associate
negative or positive connections between things. So, compliance practitioners
link themselves and their product/idea with positive things so you like them and
comply.
1. Conditioning
Experiment: Gregory Razran (1938) “Luncheon Technique”
Example: In the White House, legislators discuss matters over a meal in
hopes of swaying votes.
http://youtu.be/-63ysqT5nu0

12. Conditioning and Association continued...
2. Association
Study: Mastercard emblem
Example: Compliance practitioners use their likability and desirable things
to make positive associations with their product.
The connection doesn’t have to make sense, just positive, in order for us to
comply.

13. Defend Yourself
How can we prevent being swayed by these
requesters?
We have two options:
1. Reverse the process and dislike the person.
2. Let the “liking” techniques work on you BUT …
- Become AWARE of their effects
- Separate the person from the product/what they’re
trying to sell: make a conscious effort to focus on the
deal and the object
- Then, make your decision!