The day I realized I was not (yet) an agile coach
•
3 likes•541 views
I remember that morning, 6 or 7 years ago. I had been practicing Agile for a couple of years and I had decided to update my LinkedIn profile. I opened my profile, edited my headline and replaced “Scrum Master” with “Agile Coach”. That was a lie. But I didn’t know it at that time. I really believed I had become a coach. In reality I was a consultant, a trainer, sometimes a mentor. A few years later I decided to go back to school -a coaching school- and it changed my life. In this talk, I will share my personal journey to become an (Agile) Coach and share what I’ve learned along the way: • What is the difference between consulting, training, coaching and why we should care? • Why by calling ourselves coaches we are not doing any good to the coach profession? • What can we do about it? • How did I become a coach? • What are my coaching tools? • Does your organization really need a coach?
Recommended
Recommended
More Related Content
What's hot
What's hot (20)
Viewers also liked
Viewers also liked (16)
Similar to The day I realized I was not (yet) an agile coach
Similar to The day I realized I was not (yet) an agile coach (20)
Recently uploaded
Recently uploaded (13)
The day I realized I was not (yet) an agile coach
- 1. T H E D AY I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T ( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H T H E J O U R N E Y A N D T H O U G H T S O F A N A G I L E P R A C T I T I O N E R W H O D I S C O V E R E D H I S P A S S I O N F O R C O A C H I N G Sylvain Mahe
- 2. WHO AM I? • Entreprise Agile Coach – Publishing, Telcos, Industrial Property, Banking... – Startup companies and MNCs • Leads the largest team of Agile coaches in Singapore at Palo IT, a boutique Innovation consultancy • Life Transformation Coach (ACC - International Coaching Federation) • Explorer, seeker, salsa dancer and cheese lover Twitter: @mahe_sylvain
- 3. COACH
- 4. CIRCA 2010
- 5. CIRCA 2010
- 6. AND THEN I MET A REAL COACH…
- 7. POSTURES You could do X I’ve done X Try Y, because … What else could you try ? X, Y, Z… X is… Consultant Coach Mentor Trainer
- 8. 3 THINGS THAT MAY HELP BRING YOUR COACHING TO THE NEXT LEVEL (THAT WORKED FOR ME) 1. Know yourself 2. Go beyond the words 3. Hold the frame
- 9. LET’S HAVE A CHAT! • Form triads: observer, story teller, listener – Story teller: recall a good memory and share it with the listener – Listener: engage in this conversation as you would normally do – Observer: well… observe • 3 min
- 10. • What kind of questions did you ask? – Open / closed – Leading – Did you make good use of the silence? • Were you fully present? – Did you catch yourself wanting to speak? – Did you interrupt the story teller? – Did you hijack the conversation? • Internal state – Listening? Judging? – What was your intention? (telling a diving trip story) - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh, that was scary, wasn’t it? - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh yes, that reminds me of my diving trip last year… DEBRIEF
- 11. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I talk too much – silence is key – I want to convince – My presence is on and off – I’m the smartest and the world needs to know what I have to say • From now on – I will know myself better – I will try to be a role model PRESENCE > NON JUDGMENT > SILENCE
- 12. ” “ TIP 1: SELF AWARENESS Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.
- 13. COMMUNICATION ICEBERG Facts Emotions / Feelings Values, beliefs, frameworks •Chit chatCosmetic •Self centered •I (…feel the same, …want to ask, …want to know…) Conversational •Mirroring, paraphrasing •Physical posture •Body language, tone of voice Active •Keywords •Unsaid Deep
- 14. GO DEEPER • Rotate roles in the triad – Story teller: think of a topic that you need help with. – Listener: • Set your intention = be like water, explore • Open questions • Presence • Be curious. Really. As much as you can. Make it artificial. Fake it. Play it. Focus on the person. Let your curiosity guide you asking questions. • Mirror – Observer: well… observe • 3 min • 2 min debrief
- 15. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I’m Intellectual, Emotional – I’m at ease with emotions – I’m not (always) truly curious – I (sometimes) take things personally • From now on – I’ll go out of my comfort zone and experiment FEEL > LISTEN > MIRROR > EMPATHIZE Physical EmotionalIntellectual
- 16. “ TIP 2: GO BEYOND THE WORDS & FACTS ” If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.
- 17. C OACHING MOD ELS • GROW • Diverge / converge • Many others… HOLD THE FRAME Reality Goal Barriers Options Source: Executive Coach International
- 18. COACHING CANVAS • By Martin Alaimo
- 19. PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER (HOMEWORK) • Coaching dojo: initiating significant conversations • 6 ppl – 1 person is the Seeker – 4 are coaches – 1 is an observer • Try – Have the model in mind. Connect questions with model. – Ask open questions – Be curious: Rephrase, Mirror, Explore – Don’t provide solutions – Use silence – Feedback: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind (THINK)
- 20. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I get lost in people’s stories – I’m good at opening perspectives • From now on – I’ll bring more structure to the conversations – I’ll improve my questioning: powerful questions EXPLORE > ASK > STEER converg e diverge
- 21. TIP 3: HOLD THE FRAME “ ” Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
- 22. AGILE COACH, A STRANGE BEAST Consultant Coach Trainer Change Leader Expert Mentor Facilitator Source: Agile coaching institute
- 23. COACHING? I have a problem What are your options? I pay you to give me answers, not questions
- 24. COACHING ORGANIZATIONS • Is the client willing to be coached? • Is coaching what the client need? • What the client needs and wants are 2 different things • Does the client know what coaching is? • What’s your preferred posture? • Is it the right time for coaching? THE RIGHT POSTURE AT THE RIGHT TIME And you, in which organization do you want to work? Source: Peter Green – Agile For All
- 25. ASK > APPRECIATE • Marshall Goldsmith – “What Got you here won’t get you there” • Feedforward – Think of something you would like to change in your life – Find someone • A: Say your name • A: Tell your issue (“Here is something I would like to improve in my life”) • B: Offer 2 suggestions • A: Say “Thank you” – No explanations, no comments – Rotate – Shake hands – Do the above with as many people as possible in the next 5 minutes
- 26. TAKEAWAYS • Mantras – Presence > Non judgment > Silence – Feel > Listen > Mirror > Empathize – Explore > Ask > Steer • Go further – ICAgile, Agile Coaching Institute – Coaching course – Communication patterns: Non Violent Communication, Transactional Analysis, Toltec Agreements, Core Protocols – Personalities: Process Communication, MBTI, 16PF, Enneagram
- 27. THANK YOU “ ” Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
- 28. FURTHER READING
Editor's Notes
- - Welcome to this last session of the Scrum gathering, before the open space tomorrow After Shanghai last year, very happy to be here this year. Last year my talk was about facilitation and this year I decided to talk about coaching. - A few words about myself
- My name is Sylvain. I work in Singapore as an Enterprise Agile Coach. I use to say that I have 2 lives, during the day I coach Agile teams, and at night and weekends I work as a Life coach. Today I want to share with you how I became an Agile coach and when I realized that coaching was not what I thought it was. ACTIVITY: Ask a few questions to the group Coach? SM?
- - Tech background Project / Pgm management waterfall Around 10 yrs ago, I was working on a Titanic project. Losing money (million of euros), lost trust… Came across Agile and decided to give it a go. Great success. Restored profitability, trust and quality dramatically improved. I became Mr Agile. Events, books, CSM… Agile center of excellence. Trained ppl. Evangilization. Introduced Agile to my org, internal trainer. Slowly shifted from pgm management to trainer… Did that for 3 years. After a few years of practicing. Kept coming across the word coach (SM is the coach, Agile coach…). I started seeing myself as a coach. What I had in mind was the sport coach. To me a coach was an experienced Agile practitioner. After all, I’m a coach - I have been practicing for a few years already - I support my team, I cheer them up - To me coach = sports coach
- The story I want to tell you today starts 5 or 6 years ago. - Show linkedIn - I had been practicing for a few years already - To me coach = sports coach
- The story I want to tell you today starts 5 or 6 years ago. - Show linkedIn - I had been practicing for a few years already - To me coach = sports coach
- Then a few months later I took a 3 day course. It was about the SM as the coach of the team. The trainer was V. Messager. Opened my eyes I’m not there yet AT ALL I was amazed by the depth of conversation she initiated = looks like coaching is the art of starting significant conversations And also I felt empowered by the way she drove the conversations.
- One key learning was that coaching is a posture. She showed us smthg similar to that. There are 4 main postures Explain the 4 postures I was very much in the consultant space. I’m an engineer. Problem solver. And also training space. My space was I am the expert Listen to me I realized that coaching was a completely different skillset and toolbox. That would really help me if I were able to master all these postures! I started reading stuff, attending events, meeting more coaches and today I want to share 3 attributes of the coaching posture, of a coaching conversation different =============== Longer version: - Ask to the group
- Today I want to tell you my story with coaching. I want to take you through a journey in the land of coaching.
- Today I want to tell you my story with coaching. I want to take you through a journey in the land of coaching.
- EGO Judgment Difficult to create significant conversations that way ================= Longer version: Have a debrief within the groups
- I discovered my dark side: +/- etc… Judgment My agenda Take things personally Impatience My ego, I want to shine I’m scared not to have the RIGHT solution Drivers
- Make this gift to yourself: work on yourself. All the great coaches I’ve met are working on themselves. This a journey, but a very rewarding one.
- Levels of listening, Listening pyramid Said and unsaid, go beyond what’s said Give examples - Cosmetic Conversational: Here, you relate what is being said to your own world, situations your past recall, your strong opinions about the matter and so on. Most likely, you end up being the one talking, sharing your own experiences and giving advise. But do you think ppl want your validation? Approval? Most of us just want to be heard. Active: you are focused on the person or team in front of you. You are connected by eye contact, deep listening to what each person is saying and what the person is saying “between the lines”. You are trying to understand the perspectives and intentions of this person by letting yourself see the world from their position. You start going beyond what’s said, beyond the words. Deep: you are doing the same as on level two, however you are also sensing the feelings; the happiness, frustration, the sadness of the one in front of yo - and you are reflect those feelings back
- Activity Goldsmith Trouver un partenaire Dire votre nom Parner, here is what I would like to improve in my life. Other listens and SHUT UP (no question, don't show how you care, how smart you are...) Make 1 or 2 suggestion. Just say thank you. Do it the way around shake hands. Do it with as many partners as possible. Debrief in small groups. Facilitator asks groups what they think of the exercise (many perspectives, good to give/receive thank you...)
- Describe circles: Do Think Feel Experiment with different people
- Important because most of the time Agile = changing behaviors. But behaviors are just the expression of the belief and value system. If you want to change the behaviors you need to understand the belief/value system. This whole being/doing thing. Role of the coach is to help ppl become aware of the value/belief system, and realize things can be different. Blind spots.
- Casing / Framing What is the real issue? Diverge/converge (similar to facilitation, design thinking) Coaching is of course more than that, I didn’t cover how to build trust, open the conversation or setting the agenda. Scott Dunn presented something similar to GROW
- Do Think Feel
- I’m not saying you should be coaching all the time.
- Spiral Dynamics
- Activity Goldsmith Trouver un partenaire Dire votre nom Parner, here is what I would like to improve in my life. Other listens and SHUT UP (no question, don't show how you care, how smart you are...) Make 1 or 2 suggestion. Just say thank you. Do it the way around shake hands. Do it with as many partners as possible. Debrief in small groups. Facilitator asks groups what they think of the exercise (many perspectives, good to give/receive thank you...)
- Here are a few pointers if you want to learn more about coaching. If you are interested I really invite you to take a proper coaching course.
- Optional: If we want to transform the world of work, it’s important to live by the agile values. People, empowerment, trust, openness . Coaching embeds a lot of these values and it’s a great starting point . Scott Dunn (eat our own dog’s food. We agilists are very well positioned to be the leaders of tomorrow).
- Attitude - People are resourceful