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Conflict Resolution Samples 1


Published on Workshop objectives for conflict management training course. For full details go to

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Conflict Resolution Samples 1

  1. 1. FREE Management Training ResourcesSection 1 of...Conflict ManagementTraining CourseFor full details of the conflict resolution and management 1-day training course visitConflict Management Training
  2. 2. WorkshopConflictResolution
  3. 3. • Wherever two or more people cometogether, there is bound to be conflict.• This course will give participants a six-step process that they can use andmodify to resolve conflicts of any size.• Participants will also learn crucial conflictresolution skills, including dealing withanger and using the Agreement Frame.ModuleGettingStarted
  4. 4. Conflict isalwaysnegative.Conflict isalwaysviolent.Conflict isinevitable.Anyonecanexperienceconflict.ModulePre-AssignmentReview
  5. 5. • Understand what conflict and conflictresolution mean• Understand all phases of the conflictresolution process• Understand the five main styles ofconflict resolution• Be able to adapt the process for all typesof conflictsConflictResolutionWorkshopObjectives
  6. 6. • Be able to break out parts of the processand use those tools to prevent conflict• Be able to use basic communication tools• Be able to use anger & stressmanagement techniquesConflictResolutionWorkshopObjectives
  7. 7. FREE Management Training ResourcesSection 1 of...Conflict ManagementTraining CourseFor full details of the conflict resolution and management 1-day training course visitConflict Management Training
  8. 8. • People often assume that conflict isalways negative. This is not true!• People are inherently different, andconflict simply happens when thosedifferences come to light.• With a conflict resolution process, peoplecan explore and understand thosedifferences, and use them to interact in amore positive, productive way.ModuleIntroductiontoConflictResolution
  9. 9. • “to come into collision or disagreement;be contradictory, at variance, or inopposition; clash.”• Remember, everyone experiencesconflict – it’s how you deal with it thatmatters.ConflictResolutionWhatIsConflictI
  10. 10. • Two companies vie for the topmarket share of a particularproduct• Several sales teams work to getfirst place• Six hockey teams work towardswinning a championshipConflictcan alsobehealthy.ConflictResolutionWhatIsConflictII
  11. 11. •Mediation•Mediator•Dispute•Apparent Conflict•Hidden ConflictConflictresolutionterms:ConflictResolutionWhatIsConflictResolution?
  12. 12. • Conflict can come in many forms, andour process will help you in any situation.• On the next slide, you can find a briefoverview of how we are going to spendmost of this workshop.ConflictResolutionConflictResolutionProcess
  13. 13. Create an EffectiveAtmosphere•Neutralize Emotions•Set Ground Rules•Set the Time and PlaceCreate a MutualUnderstanding•Identify Needs for Me, Them, and UsFocus on Individual andShared Needs•Find Common Ground•Build Positive Energy and Goodwill•Strengthen the PartnershipGet to the Root Cause•Examine Root Causes•Create a Fishbone Diagram (forcomplex issues)•Identify Opportunities forForgiveness•Identify the Benefits of ResolutionGenerate Options•Generate, Dont Evaluate•Create Mutual Gain Options andMultiple Option Solutions•Dig Deeper into the OptionsBuild a Solution•Create Criteria•Create the Shortlist•Choose a Solution•Build a Plan
  14. 14. • There are five widely accepted styles ofresolving conflicts.• Understanding all five styles andknowing when to use them is animportant part of successful conflictresolution.ModuleConflictResolutionStyleswithTKI
  15. 15. This style is appropriate when:• The situation is not urgent• An important decision needs to be made• The conflict involves a large number of people,or people across different teams• Previous conflict resolution attempts have failedThis style is not appropriate when:• A decision needs to be made urgently• The matter is trivial to all involvedConflictResolutionCollaborating
  16. 16. This style is appropriate when:• A decision needs to be made quickly• An unpopular decision needs to be made• Someone is trying to take advantage of asituationThis style is not appropriatewhen:• People are feeling sensitive aboutthe conflict• The situation is not urgentConflictResolutionCompeting
  17. 17. This style is appropriate when:• A decision needs to be made sooner ratherthan later• Resolving the conflict is more important thanhaving each individual “win”• Power between people in the conflict is equalThis style is not appropriate when:• A variety of important needs must be met• The situation is extremely urgent• One person holds more power thananotherConflictResolutionCompromising
  18. 18. This style is appropriate when:• Maintaining the relationship is moreimportant than winning• The issue at hand is very important tothe other person but is not importantto youThis style is notappropriate when:• The issue is important to you• Accommodating will notpermanently solve the problemConflictResolutionAccommodating
  19. 19. This style is appropriate when:• The issue is trivial• The conflict will resolve itself on its ownsoonThis style is not appropriatewhen:• The issue is important to you or thoseclose to you (such as your team)• The conflict will continue or get worsewithout attentionConflictResolutionAvoiding
  20. 20. • When people are involved in a conflict,there is typically a lot of negative energy.• By establishing a positive atmosphere, wecan begin to turn that negative energyaround, and create a problem-solving force.• This creates a strong beginning for theconflict resolution process.ModuleCreatingAnEffectiveAtmosphere
  21. 21. • Accept that you have negative feelingsand that these feelings are normal.• Acknowledge the feelings and their rootcauses.• Identify how you might resolve yourfeelings.• This can generate ideas about what theroot cause of the conflict is, and how toresolve it.ConflictResolutionNeutralizingEmotions
  22. 22. • Ground rules provide a framework toresolve a conflict.• Set them at the beginning of any conflictresolution process.• Ground rules should be:– Developed and agreed upon by both parties– Positive when possible– Fair to both parties– Enforceable and Adjustable– Written and postedConflictResolutionSettingGroundRules
  23. 23. We will listen toeach other’sstatements fullybeforeresponding.We will worktogether toachieve amutuallyacceptablesolution.We will respecteach other asindividuals, andtherefore notengage inpersonal insultsand attacks.ConflictResolutionSettingGroundRulesII
  24. 24. • When possible, choose a quiet place todiscuss the conflict.• Make sure lots of time is allowed.• Minimize distractions if possible.• If you are mediating a conflict resolutionmeeting, be conscious of the needs ofboth parties when scheduling themeeting, and follow the tips listed above.ConflictResolutionChoosingtheTimeandPlace
  25. 25. • The model of win-win situations andmutual gain is our preferred outcome forany conflict.• In this module, we will explore howcreating mutual understanding can laythe groundwork for a win-win solution.ModuleCreatingAMutualUnderstanding
  26. 26. • Identify what you personally want out ofthe conflict. Try to state this positively.• You can create two versions of yourpersonal needs statement: your idealresolution and your realistic resolution.• Or, you could frame your statement intoseveral steps if the conflict is complicated.ConflictResolutionWhatDoIWant?I
  27. 27. • Another useful exercise is to break downyour statement into wants and needs.WANT NEEDMore input into the scheduling process To work less than 30 hours per weekA more regular schedule More notice for schedule changesConflictResolutionWhatDoIWant?II
  28. 28. These framing questions will helpyou start the process.• What does my opponent need?• What does my opponent want?• What is most important to them?• What is least important to them?ConflictResolutionWhatDoTheyWant?
  29. 29. JOE GEORGEWANTS • To have at least twoforeman shifts per week.• To have at least twoforeman shifts per week.• To leave by 4:30 p.m. onFridays.NEEDS • To leave by 4:30 p.m. onMondays and Wednesdaysto pick up his children.• To ensure that the foremanposition is covered bysomeone from Monday toFriday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.• Not to have more thanthree foreman shifts perweek as it will require himto pay extra taxes.• To ensure that the foremanposition is covered bysomeone from Monday toFriday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.ConflictResolutionWhatDoWeWant?
  30. 30. • Laying the foundation for commonground, one of the key building blocks forwin-win solutions.• This module will look at techniques forbuilding common ground, and how to usecommon ground to create a partnership.ModuleIndividualandSharedNeeds
  31. 31. • You should continue to try to findcommon ground throughout the entireconflict resolution process.• It will help you understand youradversary’s position and better positionyou to help create a win-win solution.• Build goodwill, and help you shift frombeing two people in conflict to being twopeople working to solve a problem.ConflictResolutionFindingCommonGround
  32. 32. • Have a good attitude. Frame things positively.• Create actionable items.• Try to keep emotions out of your statements.• Take a break when you need it.• If you say, “I see where you’re coming from,”make sure you mean it. If you can’t, ask them totell you more.• Invite the other person to step into your shoes.Tell them a story, outline consequences, andexplain how you feel in an objective manner.• Share as much information as you can.ConflictResolutionBuildingPositiveEnergy&Goodwill
  33. 33. STAGE EXPLANATION WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELPFORMING Team members are just meeting;unsure of their role and themselves.Encourage team building through non-conflict laden tasks and activities.Involve the team in task planning andgoal setting.STORMING Team members discover differencesand butt heads; conflict can interferewith progress.Continue with the plan; evaluate andadjust as necessary.Support the team through conflict andhelp them resolve it.NORMING Team members start to discoversimilarities too. Performance typicallyimproves, but social interaction mayalso cause it to drop.Keep the group focused on the goal;encourage social activities outside ofteam time.PERFORMING Team members are now comfortablewith each other and work togetherwell.Continue to offer resources and supportto the team. Monitor performance, asteams can change stages at any time(particularly when members join in ordrop out).ConflictResolutionStrengtheningYourPartnership
  34. 34. • In this module, we will learn how todelve below the current conflict to theroot of the problem.• This phase is important for long-termresolution, rather than a band-aidsolution.ModuleGettingtotheRootCause
  35. 35. • Once the groundwork has been laid, it isimportant to look at the root causes ofthe conflict.• One way to do this is through simpleverbal investigation. This involvescontinuously asking “Why?” to get to theroot of the problem.ConflictResolutionExaminingRootCause
  36. 36. 1. To start, draw a horizontal arrowpointing to the right on a large sheet ofpaper. At the end of the arrow, writedown the problem.ConflictResolutionCreatingaCause&EffectDiagramI
  37. 37. 2. Now, work together to list possiblecauses. Group these causes. Draw a linepointing to the large arrow for eachcause and write the cause at the top.ConflictResolutionCreatingaCause&EffectDiagramI
  38. 38. 3. Now, write each cause on a line pointingto the group arrow. (Sticky notes workwell for this.)ConflictResolutionCreatingaCause&EffectDiagramI
  39. 39. 4. Now the people in the conflict have aclear map of what is happening.ConflictResolutionCreatingaCause&EffectDiagramI
  40. 40. ConflictResolutionCreatingaCause&EffectDiagramII
  41. 41. • Forgiveness does not mean forgetting theconflict happened or erasing the emotionsit created.• It does mean accepting the conflicthappened, accepting and working throughhow it made you feel, accepting theconsequences it had, and letting thoseactions and consequences exist in the past.• Successful conflict resolution should givethe participants some feeling of closureover the issue.ConflictResolutionTheImportanceofForgiveness
  42. 42. • Effective conflict resolution digs deep intothe issues to resolve the core conflict andprevent the problem from reoccurring.• However, this can be time-consuming andemotionally difficult.• You and the person that you are in conflictwith may arrive at a point where youwonder, “Is this really worth it?”ConflictResolutionBenefitsofResolutionI
  43. 43. • When you arrive at these stalemates, take alook at why you are resolving the conflict.• It can also be helpful to explore what willhappen if the conflict is not resolved.– What relationships will deteriorate or break up?– If this is a workplace conflict, what is the financialcost to the company?– What will be the emotional cost to the participants?– Who else will be affected?ConflictResolutionBenefitsofResolutionII
  44. 44. • Once you have a good handle on theconflict, it’s time for all parties in conflictto start generating some options forresolution.• In this stage, it’s all about quantity, notquality; you want as many options tochoose from as possible.ModuleGeneratingOptions
  45. 45. • Generate ideas for resolving the symptoms ofthe conflict. Then, move on to the root causeand expand your list of ideas.• Don’t be afraid to throw out wacky ideas or toask, “What if?” This stage is about identifyingwhat you can do, not what you will do.• It is very important not to censor yourself or theperson that you are in conflict with.• Record all possible ideas into a list.• If you have created a cause and effect diagram,you can record ideas for resolution right on thediagram.ConflictResolutionGenerate,Don’tEvaluateI
  46. 46. • If you are having trouble thinking ofsolutions, use these questions to jump-start your creativity.–In an ideal world, how would this conflict beresolved?–How do we not want this conflict to beresolved?–How might others resolve this conflict?ConflictResolutionGenerate,Don’tEvaluateII
  47. 47. • Once you have a list of options, look overthe list and perform some basic evaluation.– Cross off options that are an absolute no-go for eitherparty.– Highlight options that provide gains for both parties.– Look for options that can be combined for an optimalsolution.– Make options more detailed where appropriate.– Continue brainstorming and generating ideas.ConflictResolutionCreatingMutualGainOptions&MultipleOptionSolutions
  48. 48. • Once the list has been narrowed down abit, dig deeper into each option. Identify:– The effort for each option (on a scale of one toten)– The payback for each option (on a scale of one toten)– Your estimation as to its likelihood of success– Other options that could be used to complementit– Each party’s preference for it (expressed asyes/no, or a percentage in favor)ConflictResolutionDiggingDeeperIntoYourOptions
  49. 49. • Once the possible solutions are laid out,it’s time to move on to choosing asolution and laying the groundwork for aresolution.• This module will explore how to createcriteria and how to use those criteria tocreate a shortlist of options, and then tomove on to a solution.ModuleBuildingASolution
  50. 50. • For the moment, set aside your list of options.• Try not to think about the different options asyou create the criteria. Focus instead on thewants and needs of both parties.• Criteria should explore what you want and donot want from the solution.• Prioritize your criteria by what is necessary tohave and what you would like to have (alsoknown as needs and wants). Identify any itemsyou would be willing to compromise on.ConflictResolutionCreatingCriteriaI
  52. 52. • Once the criteria have been created,bring out the list of solutions.• Eliminate any solutions that do notmatch the must-have criteria that youand your partner identified.• At the end of this process, you shouldhave a small, manageable list ofpotential solutions.ConflictResolutionCreatingAShortlist
  53. 53. • Now, choose a solution. Remember, you canoften combine multiple options for evengreater success!• Here is a checklist to evaluate the chosensolution.– Is it a win-win solution for everyone involved?– Are all needs provided for?– Are all criteria met?ConflictResolutionChoosingASolution
  54. 54. • Create a plan to put the solution in action.• For more complex situations a detailedaction plan may be appropriate.• It’s important that each party takeresponsibility for implementing thesolution.• The action plan should also include a listof things to do if the conflict is notresolved after implementing the solution.ConflictResolutionBuildingAPlan
  55. 55. • So far, we have explored the six phases ofthe conflict resolution process in depth.• In this module, we will work through anabridged version of the process that can beused quickly and easily to successfullyresolve conflicts.• We will also look at some individual stepsthat can be used as conflict resolution andprevention tools.ModuleShortVersionoftheProcess
  56. 56. • Phase One (Creating an EffectiveAtmosphere): Take a moment to calm downand deal with your emotions. Look at thepossible positive outcomes of the conflict.• Phase Two (Creating a MutualUnderstanding): Quickly evaluate your wantsand needs and those of the other party. Tryto identify the real issue.• Phase Three (Focusing on Individual andShared Goals): Identify common ground.ConflictResolutionEvaluatingtheSituation
  57. 57. • Now, let’s work through phases four andfive.• Think about the current conflict. Is it reallythe root cause or is it just a symptom of alarger problem?• How could the problem be resolved?• Make a short list of possible solutions,even if it’s just in your head.ConflictResolutionChoosingSteps
  58. 58. • Once you have some ideas on how toresolve the conflict, do a quick evaluation.• What do you want and need out of thesolution? What might the other partyneed?• Use these to sketch out a solution.• Have a backup plan, too, in case yourapproach doesn’t work.ConflictResolutionCreatingAnActionPlan
  59. 59. • A new person has joined your team. You and theteam are having a hard time getting to know her. Youuse some of the tools we discussed today to buildcommon ground with her and improve teamwork.• Lately, team status meetings have gotten out ofhand. People talk over each other, argue constantly,and often leave the room. You suggest implementingground rules for these meetings.• One of your colleagues often behaves veryaggressively. You find it very difficult to communicatewith him. You use emotional neutralizationtechniques to reduce the impact of his behavior.ConflictResolutionUsingIndividualProcessSteps
  60. 60. • To wrap up this workshop, we wouldlike to share some additional tools thatcan help you resolve conflicts.ModuleAdditionalTools
  61. 61. • Deep breathing has beneficial mental andphysical effects.• Coping thoughts can help you stay calm, too.• Make sure to take breaks as needed. If theperson you are in conflict with becomesemotional or stressed, encourage them totake breaks as well.• After the conflict is over, talk about it withsomeone appropriate.ConflictResolutionStressandAngerManagement
  62. 62. • The Agreement Frame takes one of threeforms:–I appreciate, and…–I respect, and…–I agree, and…• Remember, the words “but” and“however” are conversation-stoppers.Try to avoid using them with theagreement frame.ConflictResolutionTheAgreementFrameI
  63. 63. PERSON A PERSON BThe best way to resolve thisconflict is for you to resign yourposition immediately.I respect your opinion, and I thinkthat there might be some otherviable options.What options were youconsidering?I think that if I issued an apology tothe team for the misunderstandingthat we would be on our way toresolving the conflict.I think that option is too low-keyfor this situation.I agree that it might not be astrong enough statement, and Imay need to have team meetingsto address the underlying issues.ConflictResolutionTheAgreementFrameII
  64. 64. • When possible, use the five W’s or the Hto ask a question.–Who?–What?–Where?–When?–Why?–How?ConflictResolutionAskingOpenQuestionsI
  65. 65. • Some useful questions for conflictresolution include:–What happened?–Why do you feel that way?–When did this problem start?–How does that make you feel?–Who else is involved?ConflictResolutionAskingOpenQuestionsII
  66. 66. • Although this workshop is coming to aclose, we hope that your journey toimprove your conflict resolution skills isjust beginning.• Please take a moment to review andupdate your action plan. This will be akey tool to guide your progress in thedays, weeks, months, and years to come.ConflictResolutionWrappingUp
  67. 67. ModuleWordsFromTheWise• WILLIAM ELLERY CHANNING: Difficulties aremeant to rouse, not discourage. Thehuman spirit is to grow strong by conflict.• M. ESTHER HARDING: Conflict is thebeginning of consciousness.• CARL W. BUECHNER: They may forget whatyou said, but they will never forget howyou made them feel.
  68. 68. © Copyright Train In A Day Limited