There are very talented people in our society. They can run a business, look after their child, climb mountains but don't have power to say "no".

2. Topic:
Powerof Saying“No”
PreparedBy:
MomnaAzmat

3. Power
Power is our ability to make our own choices. Power means standing
strong but sometimes it means choosing to step aside.
According to “Weber” 1922;
Power is the ability to exercise one’s will over others.

4. History of word “No”
When a young Australopithecus was about to pick up a
hornet’s nest in 1,000,000 BC, his uncle slapped his hairy
knuckles and snarled “Ngangh!”, then pantomimed getting
stung multiple times. “Ngangh,” the youngster muttered to
himself. He walked around all day poking succulent termites
out of holes with a twig while saying “Ngangh” many times
with assorted horrible grimaces. That evening at the troop
camp-fire, when his mother gave him some of his least
favorite healthful herbs to eat, the young hominid shouted
“Ngangh!” and flung the tender shoots into the flames. His
irate mother pantomimed going to bed without dessert.
Over the countless millennia Ngangh evolved into No, which
we use today.

5. Worries fromsayingNo
1. Antagonizing people:
I cannot say NO because people may think I am not helpful and may
dislike me, desert me from the group, and I do not want to make people
unhappy.
2. Fear of power / authority:
I cannot say NO, because he/she is my boss / superior / senior.
3. Sympathy:
He/she really cannot do it. If I do not help him/her, he/she will be in big
trouble.
4. Lack of skills / personality:
I simply do not know how to say NO.
5. Justifications:
The more I do, the better the appraisal on my performance, the better my
personal relationship with colleagues.

6. The ability to say "no" is an emotional state that
you can access at any time.
It's not a skill. You know how to say no.
It's not a decision. You know you want to say no.
The key to being able to say no is to access this emotional
state where you've said "no" with conviction and emotion.

7. Reasons of why we can’t say No
For some people, saying no is the hardest thing they
can bring themselves to do. They can climb mountains,
run a business, look after there kids, but saying no is
something close to impossible. Most people can’t afford to
say yes to others request and demands on their time and
energy, but do so anyway.

8. Cont…..
Some reasons include;
1. We don’t want to feel guilty:
Saying no to others make us feel like we are letting the
other person down.
2. We don’t want to disappoint others:
When we have asked someone else to do something for us
and they say no, we can relate to the experience and do not
wish to put another person through it. We don’t want to
disappoint others because we know how bad it feels.

9. Cont….
3. We don’t have the language to let down someone:
When we think about saying no to someone we struggle wit
h how to say it. What is the best way to say it without
feeling completely selfish?
4. Our fear of Conflict and desire to keep the peace keeps
us from telling the truth:
When we know that other person will get upset or might
argue with us we would rather avoid the situation and keep
them happy.

10. Cont…
5. Tell the Truth Directly:
Sometimes we find it hard to tell the truth because we
lack the words to say it gracefully. The best way to
do this is to be honest with how you feel without over
explaining your self. The longer you take to explain,
the more openings you give yourself to change your
mind. The point is to be considerate with your choice
of words while still sending a clear message that you
need to say no. Say something like, feel bad about
letting you down but I need to instead of leaving
yourself open by saying, I don’t think I can do it, but
if something changes I will let you know.

11. Techniques to say ‘No’
Some techniques to
say “no” in
effective way are as
follows;

12. Pretend Consultation:
If you don’t wish to say yes, you can tell the
person that you have to consult your wife,
friend, expert before taking this decision. You
should never reveal the name of the person
whom you wish to consult. You can say no to
him after sometime stating that others don’t
agree.

13. Ask more time:
Most salesmen try to sell you their goods or
services immediately by offering you discounts or
highlighting the performance. You have no method
to know, if their claims are correct. It would be
logical, if you ask them to give some time so that
you can make up your mind. You can say no to him
later by sending them message or email. This will
not be as painful to you or to him.

14. Accept No Free Lunch:
One of the proven techniques of marketing is
to first offer you something free and then ask
you to buy the product. It is a human nature
to pay back the favor as soon as possible.
Learn to avoid anything that is offered free,
since there is no free lunch in the world. You
will not face compulsion so say yes to those
who have not favored you in anyway.

15. Be Firm and Polite:
When you are sure to say no, you must say so
firmly and politely. If the person is close to you,
he will understand that you don’t want to do it
and hence he will leave you. If the person is not
close to you, it is anyway not going to make
much difference to you.

16. Follow a principle:
When you follow some principle in deciding
your course of action, it is easy to convince the
person of your reasons for saying no. For
example, I don’t like to attend spiritual
meetings of the so called Gurus or Avatars. If
anyone ask me to be part of it, I simply say no
because I don’t believe in such Gurus.

17. Showpeople that they matter:
After feeling respected people would like to see that they
matter.
Instead of saying “no” you can alternately say “Sorry, I
cannot help you because I have to do this, now. But you
know what? Ask other people and if no one is willing to
help I would like to help you."
With this way they will know they are respected and cared
but you have other things to deal with.
You can expand this example to other things. It is up to your
imagination.
The main purpose in there is to make people feel cared.

18. Some Examples:
 If you keep giving chocolates to a demanding child you
are spoiling the child’s health.
 If you keep lending money to your friends and relatives
(who are conditioned to keep asking you) either you will
end up with no savings or your friend or relative will not
want to work any harder to earn it themselves.
 If you keep allowing your family to keep dumping work on
you, either you will burn out or they will grow lazy.

19. So ask yourself if you are “Really” helping a person
by saying “Yes”. If the answer is no say “NO”. It may
be difficult for the other party to accept it sometimes,
but believe me after sometime they will get used to it.
If you notice that people are no longer as friendly as
they used to be with you (after you start saying
“NO”), then they are not really your good friends or
well wishers. You really haven’t lost anything. If it is
your family, believe this, they will come around.
Cont……

20. “When you say ‘Yes’ to others,
Make sure you are not saying
‘No’ to yourself.”
(Paulo Cohelo)

21. It is not crime to say
‘no’.
Sometimes
saying ‘no’ is
essential for
success and
happiness.

22. People misuse our habit of
saying ‘yes’.
Many people
remember us or text
us only when they
have any mean.

23. We all are free to say ‘no’
It is crucial to say ‘no’ for
right decision. Such as in
choosing career. We have
right to say no while
choosing career or job for
satisfaction.

24. Psychological Example of Saying ‘No’
A pictorial representation of two different sort of
person are as follows;

25. In figure ‘a’ is an emotionally free individual considers a territory
bounded by the poles AD, GH his own psychology terrain, or his own
life space. He can move anywhere within these boundaries without
feeling that he has overstepped his limits or encroached on someone
else’s emotional property. If someone enters his territory uninvited, he
will unceremoniously stand up for his rights and tell the trespasser to
leave. The encapsulated person is uncomfortable or afraid and very
unsure when venturing beyond points B, C, E and F.
After sometimes he feels that he is not entitled to any territory beyond
his narrow range inside the capsule.

26. Views of Motivational Speakers:
The Power of saying No.

27. Jody Shield
She said in her speech;
Saying “No” is usually for most people quite a challenging things to do. Why?
Because we love saying “yes”. Every time you say “yes” you are giving a little piece
of your energy and your power away to that person. Practice being honest and tune
into how you really feel about this person is asking you to do. Say a gentle, nice “no”.
Its much more kind to say “no” than to say “yes” to something that you genuinely
don’t connect to or can’t add value to in your life. Isolate something that someone’s
asked you- if you would attend or do for them and practice saying “no” to that thing
in the mirror. It really helps.
When you say anything from the heart, the way that it is received from the
other person is in a very calm, open and peaceful way. It’s a very non threatening way
of communicating to someone else. Say a really healthy, clean, and clear “no "from
the heart. Actually when you speak from the heart the other person feels held and
supported when you are taking to them. It’s a very lovely way of expressing from you
and a way that they would receive it in the best way from them as well.

28. Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0XL1JMol0Q

29. Saying “no” does not
always show a lack of
generosity and saying
“yes” is not always a
virtue.

30. Benefits of saying ‘No’
※ Time to do whatever you've put on the back burner.
※ Power to be more in control of your life.
※ Confidence to say no more often. The first time is
the hardest.
※ Safety from overextending yourself.
※ Opportunities you didn't even know were out there.

31. Conclusion
It is not easy to say no to people because saying so
hurts the sentiments of the person whom you say no.
However, if you say yes for something which you
actually want to say no, it hurts you. This is even
worse. Hence, the people who are in the habit of
saying yes too often are the people who are very
unhappy. They always feel that other people are
exploiting them. The problem, however, lies within
themselves as their problem is due to their inability
to say NO.

32. The superior man is easy to serve, but difficult to please,
The inferior man is difficult to serve, but easy to please.