An A to Z of Great Tips for Life. Based on my years of experience as a counsellor and attending personal development courses.

1. Great Tips for Life
an A to Z of Life

2. Acceptance
Accepting yourself, your circumstances and the
world you live in is the first step to freedom. The
ability to accept difficult feelings as well.
• Tip: Give up criticizing yourself for one day!
Have the life you want by accepting the life
you have.

3. Being
How you’re being in the world is very important.
You can decide how you want to be. For
example, if you are ‘being’ loving, you will notice
a lot more love in your life. You don’t have to do
anything, just be.
• Tip: Be loving for one day and notice what
that brings you

4. Cynicism
Cynicism is the negation of life as it kills off all
hope.
• Tip: What are you being cynical about? Turn
off the cynical voice in your head for a day
and see what happens.

5. Dreams
Many of us give up our dreams because we talk
ourselves out of doing them or listen to others’
cynicism. Anything is possible if we pursue it.
• Tip: Write down a dream you have and make
a plan to realize it. Don’t listen to others’
cynicism about your dreams.

6. Empathy
If we can be in someone else’s world we can
understand them and communicate with them
clearly instead of trying to impose our point of
view.
• Tip: When someone says something to you,
put yourself in their shoes and think what it
would be like to be in their world. Notice what
effect that has on your interaction.

7. Forgiveness
By forgiving others for things they have done in
the past it will free yourself from the upset you
have with that person.
• Tip: Forgive someone who you are blaming.
Notice the impact it has on you and your
relationship. Do you feel lighter? You can also
forgive yourself for something you’re blaming
yourself for.

8. Generosity
Remember Scrooge and what happened to him
when he gave up being mean? He transformed
from a sad man into a happy person who was
excited about life.
• Tip: Buy a gift for a friend or give some of your
time away for nothing.

9. Honesty
It’s always important to be honest to others and
true to yourself. Don’t forget, the truth will set
you free.
• Tip: Notice when you tell lies (even white
ones), and start being honest and true to
yourself. When you say you will do something,
keep your word.

10. Intimacy
Human beings often avoid intimacy as we feel
safer when there is more distance. However,
the experience of intimacy with another human
being is a joyful experience.
• Tip: Allow yourself to be intimate with others
by revealing more about yourself and your
insecurities.

11. Judging
Judging others. When we judge others we
cannot communicate with them effectively. In a
family situation that can be disastrous.
• Tip: Give up judging someone in your life and
notice how that alters your relationship.

12. Knowing
Sometimes we get upset when we don’t know
something and we criticise ourselves for not
knowing or pretend we do know.
• Tip: It’s OK not to know. Give yourself a break!

13. Love
Many of us live as if there is a scarcity of love in
the world. In fact, love is everywhere and the
more we give the more we get back. Be open to
it and let it in your life.
• Tip: Tell someone in your life that you love
them- notice how that alters your
relationship.

14. Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of staying in the
present with acceptance.
• Tip: Sit for 5 minutes and focus on your
breathing to help you stay in the present. If
you notice any uncomfortable feelings or
thought, just notice them. Don't try and
understand your thoughts or analyze them,
and just go back to focusing on your
breathing.

15. N is for saying No
N is for Saying No. Sometimes we may find it
difficult to say ‘no’ to others because we want
to please them. However, by not saying ‘no’, we
do not always meet our own needs.
• Tip: Say ’No’ to someone the next time you
want to say no, and see what happens.

16. Optimism
Having an optimistic outlook on life is
important. Studies show optimistic people live
longer and have healthier lives.
• Tip: The next time something goes wrong look
at the positive outcomes. Notice how you
might be drawn to the negative ones.

17. Past
P is for the past. The past influences decisions
we make now and in the future. If something
goes badly in the past, we stop doing it. For
example, if someone in our past laughed at our
singing, we decide we can’t sing and avoid
singing, even if we like to sing.
• Tip: If you have a voice in your head saying
things like “I can’t do that. I’m no good at it. I
never was any good at it at school”. Ignore the
voice and follow your dream.

18. Quest
It’s important to have a quest in life, such as
wanting to improve the environment where you
live. It gives you something to strive for and a
reason for living.
• Tip: Invent a quest for your life and write it
down on a piece of paper. Put it somewhere
you can see it every day.

19. Right
Human beings love to be right, but often the
cost is that we lose the friendship or love we
feel for others when we are trying to persuade
them we are right and they are wrong.
• Tip: When you notice that you are determined
to be right in an argument see it from the
other person’s point of view. Give up being
right even if you know you are!

20. Should
When we say ‘should’ it is a warning signal that
we have a fixed expectation in life and it’s likely
to cause us upset when it’s not fulfilled.
• Tip: Notice when you say ‘should’ in a
conversation and question whether you’re
just trying to impose your values on someone
else or yourself.

21. Trying
When someone asks you to do something and
you hear yourself reply “I’ll try”, do you really
intend to do it or is it a weak promise? Often
people say “I’ll try” and then do nothing and feel
guilty about it.
• Tip: The next time you are about to say “I’ll
try”, change it to “I will” or “I won’t”. You will
gain people’s respect.

22. Unconditional love
Human beings like to hold back their love with
certain conditions and we end up not really
loving the people we are close to and even
alienating them.
• Tip : Love those close to you unconditionally
and notice what that brings to your
relationship

23. Voice in the head
We all have a little voice in our head chatting
away all the time. The mistake we make is to
respect and listen to that voice because it is not
always a helpful little voice.
• Tip: When you hear that voice saying you’re
not good enough, tell it to shut up, or ignore
it!

24. Wisdom
Accept the things you cannot change and have
the courage to change the things you can.
Wisdom is knowing the difference.
• Tip: Make a list of the things you can change
in your life. Which ones do you want to
change? Be courageous and make one of
those changes.

25. eXpressing yourself
X is for eXpressing yourself fully. When you
express your thoughts and feelings rather than
bottling them up, you will feel more alive.
• Tip: Sing loudly in the bath or shower! Express
something to someone which you would
normally keep in and don’t worry what they
think about you. Notice how you feel after
you expressed it.

26. Yes
Saying Yes. You will find that more things will
happen in your life if you are open to new
things.
• Tip: Say ‘yes’ to suggestions people make
even if there’s a cynical voice in your head
saying ‘no’.

27. Zest
Human beings naturally have a lot of energy and
zest for life. Just watch a group of small children
playing. We lose that as we get older and more
resistant to life.
• Tip: Follow the tips in this guide and you will
notice a new spring in your step!

28. About the author
Charles Baines is a qualified and accredited
BACP counsellor living in Brighton. He runs his
own counselling practice near Fiveways in
Brighton and he teaches counselling skills.
www.counsellingforbrighton.co.uk
tel: 07765 215 442